The Unseen Obstacle CH.40

I Disclaim

Pacey didn't even acknowledge his brother, as he passed him, he was that focused on Joey that it didn't even register when his brother told him not to 'Screw up'. It didn't matter if he had heard him, Pacey wasn't going screw up.

"So we meet again on the docks." He stopped just within a foots distance from her." Potter, I'm beginning to think this is our spot."

"Well it makes sense." Joey nodded and smiled reminiscing." I mean this is the first place I beat you up."

" You didn't beat me up."

The brunette titled her head to the side and pretended to think about it." Well let's see, you were bloody and bruised, in a heap over there." She said point to a spot where her boat was usually tied up." While I was doing a dance without a nick on me after having punched you continuously, I think that qualifies as a beating." "Therefore, i.e. I beat you up."

"You have a very selective memory Potter."

"You just don't like to admit you got beat up by a girl." Joey began laughing." And several times if memory serves me correctly." "I'm amazed you have any self-esteem at all."

"Whatever Potter."

An easy silence descended on the dock, both parties thinking back and trying to make sense of it all." What happened Pacey, at one point I'm sure we were all friends, real friends we didn't judge or put each other down, what happened?"

"We grew up." Pacey turned from the water and watched her sadly. "We stopped being little kids that had no expectation; we starting listening to the things around us, buy into the things adults said." "Dawson started to believe he was the golden boy that I was the sidekick, and you were his soul mate. When we got hurt through out the years we bought into it, because those people didn't get hurt." "It was so much safer then where we really where, soul mates' mother don't die, their father's don't go to jail, sidekicks don't want to run away." "Then one day you and I decided that there was more." Pacey took her hand and looked at shaking his head sadly. "But he couldn't leave Jo; it had become his world, to the point where just acknowledging one change could make the entire house of cards fall. "

"He hates us."

"No, not the real Dawson." "That little boy we knew a long time ago was our friend and he loved us, and he still loves us, but I don't know where he is Jo, and neither does Dawson."

"I miss that little boy." Joey said with tears sliding down her face." I miss the guy I thought he was." Joey walked away and looked at him questioningly." How could I do that Pacey, how can after everything he did I still care?"

Pacey took her into his arms and hugged her." Because he was your friend, and your first boyfriend, and you know that deep down that boy still exist somewhere and that's who you love."

Joey let she stay in the circle of Pacey's arms, he was the only thing she had left from that time in her life when things were right and perfect in her world. But she knew it couldn't last, there were still things that need to be addressed." Don't think we're okay because of this moment of weakness."

"Never." He says savoring the moment knowing that anytime know Joey going to remember that she was mad at him, and that they had broken up.

As if she realized the same thing she pushed him away, and walked to the other side of the dock well away from him." I'm thinking I had enough emotional upheaval for the day, so I'm heading back inside."

Pacey watched her start to walk away and sighed." I love you." Joey stopped and turn back to look at him, and shook her head." It's true; you know it's true, everyone knows it."

"Then what the hell was that this morning Pacey, 'that I don't know if I can be near you right now', what was that, that wasn't love, I know love Pacey." "Love was what last night was; I don't even know what nightmare I woke up in this morning."

Pacey took a deep breath and tried to explain." Doug is real issue for me, Jo not just you being with him, just him in general." He shrugged." He's my Father's son, he's makes him proud, he makes my mom smile, my sisters light up at his mention, and then there's me." "People would forget there is a fifth Witter kid if I didn't get into so much trouble or I wasn't friends with Dawson Leery."

"He's this guy that I wanted to be and … he's responsible and dependable, and … everything I think you deserve in a man."

"But he's not what I want in one."

"Yeah, well you tend you shot low." She glares at him and he gives her a placating smile" You do, you base your decisions on realistic options, things you know you can do, and things you know are out of your reach, you have no idea how good you are, and how nothing is out of your reach."

"You seem to be out of my reach, because I'm standing here with you, and I know you've heard me tell several people in the last few hours alone that I love you, and that doesn't seem to mean anything to you."

"It means everything to me, and that's scary, because it means so much that I'd follow you anywhere, give up anything and everything to be with you, but then this voice in my head, that wonders if this is what you need to be stuck with some guy that would just follow you anywhere, that doesn't have any grand plans or plans past waking up tomorrow."

"Who need plans, Pacey, they fall through all the time, Dawson had plans, my Mom had plans, in seconds plans can change, and lives can be ruined or revived."

"You have plans."

"I have goals, which are quite different from plans, my goals include getting out of Capeside, beyond that I have nothing, I don't even have a destination in mind, it's just a blanket 'out of here'."

"You're doing it again, you're limiting yourself."

"No you're doing it, you're putting me in this box, marked 'out of your reach', when I quite clearly am within your reach." Joey moves toward him till she is inches away from him, and he could tell she was trying to keep her temper in check. "You keep acting like I'm too good for you or something, and that's just not true, if anything its sad how perfect we are for each other."

"How are we perfect for each other?" Pacey asked now slightly amused, he knows she getting worked up.

"Well look at all we have in common older lovers, exes with mental problems, father issues, older siblings acting as parents."

"So we're basically too screwed up for anyone else?"

"I think it would be beneficial to mankind to keep our dysfunctions limited to each other, yes." Joey said nodding vigorously.

Pacey stepped forward and wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her toward him, bending his head slightly." Okay I give; we're perfect for each other."

"Uh huh." Joey leaned forward ready to accept his kiss then her face cleared and she pushed him back." Hey no way, you wrecked me this morning, and you don't get me all worked and then swoop in and try to kiss and make it better."

"Jo." He cupped her face, and she saw the regret and guilt so clearly she thought she would drown in it." You will never know how much it hurt to see you in so much pain; I thought I would die just watching you hurt that badly." "And I can't promise not to be so insecure about being with you cause, I'll never really feel like I deserve you, but I can swear to you that no one will ever love you quite like I do." "Just like I know that no woman could ever love me the way you do."

"It's true no one will." She said nodding. "But you have to know that I will never buy in this stupid idea that you're not the man I deserve, because you're the man I want." She pushed him back again and gave him a saucily look." But that doesn't mean that I'm that easy."

"Okay, I understand you need time." Pacey stepped away and took a deep breathe, waited a full minute then looked at his watch." You good now?"

"Yeah." Joey nodded, and rushed in his arms, running her fingers thru his hair, as she met his lips in a torrid kiss.

"Ah… and they lived happily ever after." Came a voice from the top of the dock.

Joey pulled away from Pacey and looked up to see Jack grinning and waving at them, while Jen just shrugged and took a step back from the man. "Pacey, their back."

"I know baby, but we can ignore them." He made a move to kiss her again, when he heard a snicker followed by an off key singing.

"Joey and Pacey sitting in a tree K. I.S.S.I.N.G., first comes love, and then comes marriage….."

"Jack you should start running." Jen said she backed away even further amazed at her friends stupidity.

Jack stopped signing and looked at the blonde to his side." Why?"

"Cause Joey's running towards you, and that's not happiness on her face." Jack turned and caught the look in the brunette's eyes and just before he took off with her fast on his tail. Pacey jogged up and joined Jen as she leaned against a tree watching Joey chase Jack." I swear he has the sensitivity and awareness of a heterosexual."

Pacey nodded and laughed when Joey managed to trip her ex up and began hitting him in the arm." He really is the worst gay man ever."

The End