Potato killer productions bring you: Tales from the Hive!
: Hello, random people (Persons) that have stumbled on to this page by any…
Infested Kerrigan: Zergling shut the hell up
Ted: It's Ted the Zergling, Ted the Zergling! Ugh… warm out the welcome will ya. Anyway, now that you know that I am Ted, Meet Bob the Hydralisk and Billy the Infested Terran.
Bob: Yo
Billy: Live for the swarm.
Bob: Sighs Ted, he needs another shot of tequila
Ted: Alright, whatever. Gives a tequila to Billy
Billy: Came, saw and loved the tequila
Ted, yeah, whatever, anyway, the main purpose of these documentations and...
Bob: You're using big words again
Ted: WHATEVER… anyway the main purpose of this is to tell you what goes on in the hive when we aren't destroying the inferior species.
Let's get on with the first tale.
Ted, Bob, Billy, and two larvae are sitting in the hives bar. What, a zerg has to have liquor sometimes
Larvae 1 to larva 2: Hey baby, come here often.
Larvae 2: Man, I am tired of being asked that question, go get in an egg and mature.
Larvae 1: Fine, I'm going to be an Ultralisk one day… then you'll see
Kerrigan (in the distance): That will be my decision
Zoom to other side of bar.
Ted: Man, there is no way that that girl will fall for him
Bob: Yeah
Billy: Live for the swarm, stay for the girls and drinks
Kerrigan comes in.
Kerrigan: Barkeep, give me a drink.
12 drinks and one talk later
Ted: Kerrigan... there is no way that you can jump off of a Terran Barracks when it is in the air
Bob and Billy: Just can't happen.
Kerrigan: Watch… (Hiccup)…me
15 minutes later
Ted: Are you ready
Kerrigan: Yep
Bob: Jump
Kerrigan jumps, but doesn't ace the landing
Bob checks for pulse
Bob: Oh my god, she's dead
Ted: Well, I say that I, as her favorite, shall take over the zerg, as my own
Bob: No way, it should be me
Billy: I look more like her, it should be me
All start battering each other
Kerrigan… ugh, hangover… from… h….l
All: She's alive!
Ted: It still should have been me
Well, tale one is done, now for the next one
Ted, Bob, and Billy are running to the middle of nowhere.
Ted: So, what does Kerrigan need to get over her hangover?
Warp opens in the background.
Bob: the key ingredient is bezoars…
Billy: You idiot, that is the Harry Potter and the goblet of fire, not the book of home remedies for the alcoholic
Bob: oh, well, yeah, I knew that, I was, testing you, that's it
Billy: Ugh… idiot
2 people step out of the warp, and walk forth
Potatokiller: Hello, is this the "Zerg Hive"
Note from author: Yes, it's me, and my friend Darkmaster
Darkmaster: Of course, you insolent idiot, you're talking to a zerg, so it must be near.
Ted: You look like Terrans… attack!
Potatokiller(PK): It's not like that, we need to speak with Kerrigan, queen of the zerg
Bob: mutters got that right.
A few mile trek and one stuffed protoss head later.
Darkmaster: You Zergs made a souvenir shop in the middle of nowhere, and Pk, you just had to buy a stuffed zealot head
Ted and PK: Yep
Dark master sighs
Back with Kerrigan
Kerrigan: I sense… and auras of zerg like quality, and I like it
Later, With Kerrigan and darkmaster alone.
Darkmaster: So, you are the leader of the hive
Kerrigan gives a sigh, looks deeply into his eyes
Darkmaster: hey… I've seen that look before, that's the look that my sister did with her boy…friend
Yelling sound heard all over the zerg hive
Ted: What was that?
PK: Who needs to know?
Billy: so, is there anything that you need.
Yeah, a zergling, a hydralisk, and an Infested terran, also, a stolen science vessel
Billy:… alright, sounds easy enough.
Back with Kerrigan and Darkmaster
Darkmaster, hesitantly: what do you get when you cross a zerg with a human?
Kerrigan, sweetly: Sigh, what
Darkmaster: ME GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
Another yelling sound is heard throughout the hive.
Billy: Let me guess, don't need to know.
PK in science vessel: Yeah.
Billy: what are you doing
PK: through molecular construction and deconstruction with the zergs you have provided, I have made a new breed
Billy:…
PK: ugh… new zergs that rip, tear and shred.
Billy: Now I understand
PK: You don't, do you
Billy: No, but what's it called
PK: It's called…the……zergaliskan
Billy: What.
Pk: Let me explain the name in the technical way
Red letters are the ones that have been removed
Zerglinghydraliskinfestedterran
Zergaliskan.
Billy: It took you 5 seconds to think of that name, didn't it?
Pk: no, I mean, yes.
Later that night, in the acquired quarter of the zerg hive for darkmaster and pk
Darkmaster: …must…hide…away from….Kerrigan
PK: I've never seen you be so scared before, it's not like she had a crush…on…you. Oh dear god
Will the zergaliskan be the only of its type? Will it be what PK says it will, and will Ted, Bob, and Billy learn more about Pk and Darkmaster, and will Darkmaster find a way to get away from Kerrigan, wait till the next TALES FROM THE HIVE!
Special thanks to Blizzard Entertainment for the great game(s)