Disclaimer
The series, Neon Genesis Evangelion, from which this work of fiction is based, is owned by GAINAX. Characters presented in this document that come directly from the series are also owned by GAINAX. I own all original characters.
Evangelion: Primum Revelation
Chapter 5: Deathmatch
Written by T.S. a.k.a. "Kain Tempest"
Shinji gave out a yelp of surprise as he was pressed up against the wall, but he wasn't as afraid as he was anxious, staring into the twin pools of blood that seemed to gently pierce his. The other boy smiled gently.
"It is alright that I make such a bold approach, isn't it?" The boy asked. Shinji swallowed. He slowly nodded and a look of concern played upon the pale young man's face. "It's alright? Or it isn't? A simple gesture such as that doesn't help me determine whether you're permitting me to, Shinji. Tell me, I want to hear your voice.""It's fine for you to do this. I don't mind." Shinji whispered, however the wavering in his voice caused his colleague to even be more concerned. He drew close until Shinji could hear his breath against his ear.
"Do I scare you?" The boy breathed. Shinji could feel himself tensing as the young man snaked his arms around him in an embrace that caused his heart to start beating harder. The boy's body didn't feel warm against Shinji's; it almost felt as though was simply at room temperature. It was far too cool for the human body if he could remember his biology lessons.
"No." Shinji murmured as he began listing the chemicals of the digestive tract in his head.
"Then why are you so hesitant to give back my affections. Do you not love me?" The blood pools returned to starting into Shinji's eyes and his lips went dry.
"Of course I love you." A gentle smile played across the boy's face.
"That is good." Again the boy hugged Shinji and this time, Shinji returned it. "But then... Why did you have to kill me?" Shinji's body froze as he felt the boy's body become mind numbingly cold and his fingers raking down Shinji's back tearing at the clothes and skin.
"I- I had no choice." Shinji whimpered as his attacks nails dugs deeper. Shinji's hands clenched into fists but he didn't fight back. He couldn't.
"Liar. You just never loved me enough." The boy through Shinji to the floor, the teenager's gentle demeanor was gone and his soft face was contorted in sharp sneer. The boy flexed his hands, his fingers darkened with Shinji's blood.
"But you said you wanted to die. You said you wanted me to live."
"Well now I want to see you die!" The boy hissed, drawing closer. Shinji was paralyzed by fear.
"Kaworu! No!" Shinji cried before the Seventeenth Angel pounced.
Shinji snapped awake with a gasp. Sweat and tears stung his eyes and he snapped them shut again only to see the feral monster Kaworu had become again. Whimpering, Shinji tried to cover his eyes to wipe away the tears and try and clear the frightening image from his mind. His fingernails dug into the skin of his forehead, but it meant nothing for the horrible nightmare.
Shinji cried softly barely making a sound as the tears rolled across his temples and onto the pillow. Oh God, why wouldn't Kaworu let him live in peace? Why did he have to torment him and make him feel so guilty about fulfilling the Angel's request? Kaworu wanted to die, and so did NERV, and he did so, but still NERV was destroyed and Kaworu haunted him. Shinji could never seem to escape the pain.
Even with the EVAs, Shinji found pain in his achievements. When success came his way in synchronization, Asuka hated him and people got hurt because of him. When he didn't pilot EVA, everyone would get angry with him because he failed to protect them. Touji, Rei, and Asuka, they all got hurt by the Angels because he refused to do anything. It was impossible for there to be an outcome that would satisfy what Shinji wanted. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, people would hate him.
If Shinji hadn't ran way from Doctor Powell's house after Asuka threw her fit, Shigeru would still be alive. Hell, even if Shinji did so, he still got a second chance if he hadn't hesitated to go down the hill towards the woods when they found it, rather than look for some other way down. Shinji's cowardice had gotten Shigeru killed. He was failing everyone and no matter what happened, they were still dying all around him and he couldn't help but be the cause of it. God, he was a monster. He was just as bad as the Angels. No, he was worse.
Shinji sniffled and coughed as some tears collected and dripped down the back of his throat. He held his breath as he heard something from the next room. Listening patiently in the silence, he could hear sobbing as if someone else was crying.
Not immediately concerned with the sounds of sadness, Shinji tried his best to recover from the nightmare and try and ensure that his surroundings were such that he didn't have to be afraid. Shinji should have known that was dreaming the minute he realized that the setting of the nightmare was Misato's apartment, even though he had only lived there for a couple of months, it was more heavily ingrained in his mind that any other place he knew... Aside, of course, from Unit-01's entry plug. Shinji shook his head and tried to take his mind away from the horrors of the Evangelion and the monstrous thing it was able to turn Shinji into.
The ground floor apartment didn't seem all that threatening, not having the least bit of resemblance to the Katsuragi residence, with several antiquities lying on shelves and any other flat, solid surface. Juxtaposed against these relics of the previous millennium, was upholstery of more modern making, including sofas and recliners. The doors were hinged and wooden, another oddity Shinji wasn't always used to, finding the sliding door a much more familiar way for portals of entry to move. No doubt however, Asuka was finding it easier to adjust to this place than vice versa.
The more Shinji thought about it, the more he realized he was dreading their arrival into Vienna and thus, Europe. As far as Shinji knew, he had lived on the Japanese Islands all his life, and it was a large enough step crossing the sea to reach China. From what he could tell, German culture had spread considerably throughout much of Europe, the work ethic and ideals becoming a valuable asset early in the post Second Impact Era. Even France, the historical foe of the Germany, as Misato had put it, had accepted German as a second language and one that every school taught, and every university required.
The distant crying fit had persisted throughout Shinji's interpretation of things. Slowly, Shinji got up and quietly slipped up to the door leading into Asuka's domain. Shinji reached for the doorknob, but stopped inches away, his hand giving a short spasm as if warning him. He stared at the limb in the mild darkness and then forming a gentle fist, softly knocked on the door.
"A-Asuka? Are you alright?" He heard a sharp intake of breath and then silence for several seconds.
"What do you want, bastard?" Asuka hissed. Shinji stood there, stunned and confused. He had never heard Asuka referred to him like that.
"I... I wanted to know if you were alright." There was another pause.
"Nothing that you would understand." Shinji's hand flinched again, the nerves that signaled his stress starting to flicker back to life. Shinji hated when Asuka got in these moods. It was one thing when she was just rude and mean, but when she was angry or depressed she became really cruel. If she ever wanted children, Shinji prayed to God that how she was acting now was only a temporary teenage phase. "Now go away." Asuka murmured.
"Asuka?"
"What?" The tone easily indicated that Shinji was wearing down on the German girl's patience.
"If there's anything you need, you can tell me. I don't want to think that you are alone in this." There was another long, drawn out pause.
"I want to be alone and I want to see you die." Shinji stared in astonishment at the wooden door, imagining a tearful Asuka tell him those very words. It wasn't just a joke or something said out of the blue, it sounded like a clear and coherent wish of hers. She wanted Shinji to die.
"Why?"
"Go away." Asuka murmured. Shinji's features tightened, he hated it when she tried to avoid his questions. She always said he wouldn't understand her, but she would always avoid her questions. Wasn't he now trying to understand her? Why did she always want to keep him so far away? She kept doing thing and pushing him closer to a breaking point, but now he would either have to vent it or burst. He didn't want to back down today.
"No..." Shinji murmured.
"Go away."
"No."
"Go away!"
"No!" It was almost like an explosion, the rumbling growl, the movement of hair, and the gas blue fires burning into his retinues from within the twisted structure of a beautiful girls scathing rage. Asuka was bearing her white teeth in a feral snarl. She seemed poised at the open door, ready to lunge forward and tear his throat out. Shinji's hand squeeze into a ball, mirroring the tension in the air, tight enough that if things reached any higher, the cuts on Shinji's hands would burst open again.
"Why won't you leave me alone, you idiot?" Asuka growled.
"Why do you want me to die?" The rage on Asuka's face turned to revulsion at the boy, looking at him as if he was responsible for the most despicable crime imaginable, whatever that was in her mind. The seconds ticked by as Asuka inspected this horrifying specimen the doorway, carefully crafted the words that made out her feelings perfectly. Shinji saw her eye twitch but he maintained a locked gaze with her, daring her to speak and be done with it.
"Because..." Asuka whispered, still struggling to form the ideas into a coherent form. "I..." Shinji held his breath for what was coming next part. "Hate..." Asuka seemed to struggling with the word, trying to force it from herself and breaking eye contact to try and focus on it.
"Me?" Shinji offered as a flat gesture. Asuka seemed to cave in. The energy keeping her body up was lost. She hung her head, her shoulders sank, and her knees bent the whole of her body seemed to come down upon them.
"Yes." She murmured. Asuka retreated and the door close in Shinji's face. He heard her begin weeping again, but this time he didn't inquire. Shinji suddenly felt tired again, and lumbered back to the couch. Lying back against the cushions, he stared at the ceiling. The tension was gone and now it seemed every pore was drained.
"She hates me." Shinji murmured, hearing the words on his lips. No matter how hard he tried to at least coexist with her. In the end, she still hated him. But why? Shinji pulled the covers up closer and closed his eyes, listening to Asuka cry herself to sleep.
Shinji leaned up against the tree trunk with a sigh, appreciating a little rest, but keeping as quiet as possible. Just past a couple of bushes he could hear Asuka throw up her breakfast. Shinji wondered when this sickness of hers would finally pass. If it weren't for the soldiers attacking that one village, Doctor Powell would likely have cured her. But then again, her reaction to the news he had given her seemed to be very serious. Perhaps what she was going through couldn't be cured. Shinji looked skyward, trying to think of what the answer would be.
Asuka stumbled out of the brush and spat the last bit of bile out of her mouth. Shinji produced a bottle of water from his backpack. The girl immediately grabbed it, spat out a mouthful to get the rest of the acid out of her mouth and took a couple more swigs before screwing the cap on and stowing the half-finished bottle in the red jacket's pocket.
The day had been relatively cool despite the cloudless day. Shinji didn't really know what season it was now. After Second Impact and the shifting of the Earth's axis, Japan was now treated to very mild winters and all the seasons meshed together. In fact, the autumn colors of Japan never returned. Shinji remembered seeing the photos of the Japan's seasons before Second Impact, the last memories of something so beautiful that was now lost forever.
The breezy day had prompted the two children to putting jackets on, Asuka opting to put on Misato's jacket. As Shinji watched the redheaded girl, he couldn't help but admire how much more adult and strong she looked while wearing it.
"What are you staring at?" Asuka asked, eyeing Shinji. The boy looked way and at the asphalt stretch they had begun to follow. Neither of them could understand the directory names, or the cities they were approaching, but at least they knew they were still going west and from the change of scenery, it felt as though they were no longer in Asia. It was difficult to actually tell, but something deep down in Shinji knew that he was now as far from familiar things than he had ever been. "Well?" Asuka urged.
"It's nothing." Shinji responded, causing Asuka to give a snort. She turned away and started down the road again. Shinji silently followed, considering whether or not he should actually speak. After what Asuka had said the night before, Shinji knew that staying with Asuka was like flirting with the devil. Who knew what she was capable of when she got overly depressed. Again, Shinji decided to try and be strong and work it out.
"Asuka, I have a question?"
"What is it?" Asuka didn't even look over her shoulder and kept walking.
"Doctor Powell had said something to you that made you very upset. What was it he told you?" Asuka didn't respond for several minutes and Shinji thought she had ignored him and was about to ask again, when she finally spoke up.
"It's none of your business."
"I want to know, Asuka. I want to help you." Asuka stopped and sighed.
"Alright, I lied. It is your business." She slowly turned to Shinji and took a deep breath. "After the Fifteenth Angel was killed, I went into a depression." Shinji nodded. "I found myself in Tokyo-2. The last thing I remember was the secret service taking me back to Tokyo-3. But I just stopped caring."
"When they brought you back, Misato told me you went into a catatonic state. You were awake, but not. I felt guilty. That I allowed Rei to go and stop the Fifteenth Angel in my stead. Touji was taken away, Rei changed, and then there was Kaworu..."
"Who?"
"Kaworu Nagisa. He was the Fifth Child. Your replacement." Asuka cursed.
"What happened to him?" Shinji swallowed.
"He was an Angel." Asuka could already imagine what that meant. "But, he was also human. You probably won't..." Shinji trailed off again, reconsidering his words. "You were the only one that was left, the only last real pilot, the only person I could identify with. My only friend."
"You must have been pretty disturbed to regard me as a friend." Asuka retorted. The attack didn't seem to affect Shinji as he continued.
"I prayed to God that you would wake up. That this was all an act to get attention or something. That your condition was not as serious as I initially thought it to be. I came to see you every day hoping that you had recovered." There was a flicker of something in Asuka's eyes after Shinji finished.
"What did you say?" She asked. The question was quiet; Shinji wasn't able to detect the dangerous twinge at the end.
"I came to see you every day." Shinji repeated.
"I bet the nurses thought you were very nice."
"Uh... I don't really know how they felt about it."
"Probably gossiped that I was your girlfriend or something. They probably didn't notice you adjusting your pants every time you left." Shinji frowned in confusion.
"What are you-"
"So how did it start, bastard? Did it begin with just some jerk-off fantasy and then work your way up? Or were you so scared that you tried the whole thing in one visit?" Shinji was about to respond, but Asuka drew right up next to him and looked him right in the eye, and the feeling of severe hatred seemed to come from over pore of her being. It was like that evening in the apartment between crying fits when he confronted her, but now it seemed that this fiery rage was on the verge of going out of control.
"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked murmured.
"You raped me!" Asuka cried and shove Shinji backwards. The boy stumbled but caught his footing, but now the rising anger in Asuka terrified him.
"What! No! I couldn't- I never would-" The boy stammered.
"You liar! You've been waiting to do this since the day we met. Hell, even on the first day you couldn't even manage to compose yourself enough that you wouldn't peep on me while I was changing!"
"That has nothing to do with it! You were taking so God damned long to change and you were supposed to kill an Angel!"
"And what about when you were trying to kiss me?"
"That was different!"
"Like Hell it was. After all of that crap you went through, you probably wanted to kill yourself but decided by no means did you want to die a virgin, you sick son of a bitch!" Asuka lunged forward and before Shinji could react, he was stumbling backwards, but the black top disappeared before he could regain his footing and he tumbled off the highway and into the ditch.
Wincing, Shinji looked up to see Asuka quickly come down the hill in pursuit. Shinji scrambled to his feet but the redhead was already upon him and crooked fingers reached and clutched Shinji's throat. Immediately, reverting to protecting himself, Shinji grabbed Asuka's wrists to try and pull himself free of her death grip.
"Please, Asuka... S-" Shinji's cry was drowned out and became a gurgle and a cough as Asuka had but just enough force to pinch off his windpipe of a few seconds. Shinji continued to struggle with the girl, trying to free himself, but his depleting air supply and the energy used trying to get away was slowly sapping his strength. Shinji's legs buckled and he fell backward, Asuka falling with him and their foreheads colliding when they hit the solid earth.
Asuka's grip diminished slightly, having become dazed by the blow to the head. Shinji took a massive gulp of air before Asuka returned upon the attack, this time with greater abandon than before.
"Asuka, I didn't do it." Shinji wheezed, but the words fell on deaf ears as Asuka was chanting something under her breath, keeping her focused on the task of trying to kill the boy. Shinji felt her grip get even tighter. His brain was craving oxygen and began racing, flashes of things in Shinji's memory began to break the surface. Namely, his bout with the Thirteenth Angel, the one that had contaminated Touji's Evangelion
Shinji remembered he and his Evangelion in the same position, having the Thirteenth Angel bearing down on him, crushing his windpipe. Shinji had refused to fight; even though he was unsure of what fate Rei and Asuka had taken. He didn't want to hurt Touji, even if it was unlikely he was alive, Shinji couldn't just give up.
Shinji's father then initiated the used of the monstrous dummy plug, which turned Unit-01 into an unstoppable and horrible killing machine. The thing wouldn't stop until it crushed the plug and therefore sealing Touji's fate. Touji would have been all right if only Shinji chose to try and fight and if his father never started the dummy plug.
Darkness began crawling up around the corner's of Shinji's eyes, his brain starting to lapse into unconsciousness, grasping the thought of Shinji's father and how much he hated him. Something flickered and the boy thought he could hear the voice of Gendo yelling at him, proving his hatred of his own son. Within Asuka's blue, hateful eyes, Shinji could see his father. He would be damned if he didn't kill his father before he died himself.
Asuka was surprised when the boy's bony fingers wrapped around her neck and squeezed with such an intensity she didn't believe she even possessed. The look of weakness in Shinji's eyes faded as his body went into autopilot, the final shot and trying to survive, and winning out in this battle between the two survivors. Even though Asuka knew that her life was now threatened, she knew she had the advantage of being first to start strangling the boy and so could probably kill him first.
The German girl's eyes bulged as she felt her throat completely close off and released Shinji's neck to claw at his wrists. Shinji seemed to rise up, closing his grip tighter, his face contorted into a sneer of sheer rage. Asuka could feel her face turning blue. She had to break free.
Lashing out, Asuka's hand struck Shinji's face, the nails raking into the skin and cause Shinji's brain to shriek with pain. Shinji released Asuka's throat and grabbed at his cheek, hissing in pain and stumbling backwards.
Both of the combatants paused, catching their breath, glaring at each other.
"Are you insane?" Shinji hissed. The look of conviction hardened on Shinji's face.
"If I am going to have a child, I met as well let them know that their mother did a reasonably honorable things by killing the one responsible." Shinji's eyes widened with the realization of why her actions were so intense. She though he had raped her and got her pregnant.
"Dear God..." Shinji whispered, barely noticing as Asuka threw punch that squarely landed in his face, causing him to stumbled backwards. As the boy lifted his head, another blow took him to the face, causing him to fall back once more. A second fist was driven into his stomach and Shinji doubled over Asuka's hand and groaned. With a growl of disgust, Asuka shoved him away, but the boy still stood. Asuka took a deep breath expecting Shinji to use the pause to go onto the offensive. Rather, he wasted the time grating out his defense. "I didn't do it."
"Bullshit!" She responded. Asuka charged at her foe, tackling him to the ground. Straddling his chest, Asuka pulled back another punch and threw it. Then another, beating in the boy's face with reckless abandon until her knuckles felt like they would shatter.
Hot tears ran down Asuka's face, a liquid form of the sheer anger and hatred she had for Shinji coming all the way back up. She made her efforts in becoming an Evangelion pilot meaningless. She threw away the only real friendship she had with the only real person she could relate to. She had spurned away the one that was much like her brother and the only one who gave a damn about her. She gave that all up for Unit-02, for NERV, and for this sorry little bastard.
She had no victories that she could call her own. Every Angel was slain by Shinji or a combination of all of them. There was no battle that she could claim that proved of her value. Anyone would do. It was all the same with Shinji. If it weren't for that twisted little doll giving him the cold shoulder, she would never be in this situation. Damn Rei. Damn Shinji. Damn her!
The judge looked down upon the accused, both breathing heavily. The German girl noticed something in the grass just an arms span away. A large rock. Here eyes trained on the beaten Shinji, Asuka reached for it with her right hand while her left firmly gripped the boy's throat.
Grasping the rock, Asuka raised it over her head in both hands. Her features became stone cold as she prepared to land the killing blow. Her body shuddered with emotion as she continued to tell herself that she should have abandoned the Third Child on Unit-02's transport so that he could drown with the rest of those little Navy rats and never have caused her all of this torment. He should have died there.
"I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I'll kill you." Over and over, Asuka repeated that same phrase, the three words seemed to just course through her. Those words pushed her forward through her final battle with Unit-02, with her mother. She had become a dreadnought, decimating everything in her path, and when the EVA series came, she would be the Angel of Death for five minutes. If Shinji was there, she would have won. He failed her. She could have won with his help.
Memories flashed in her mind of the battle with the Seventh Angel, their constant fighting and how, somehow they managed to pull through. How they all worked as a successful team to defeat the Eighth Angel. Unit-01's rescue of her when her lifeline broke and she was about to plummet into the center of the Earth. The race for their lives against the Tenth Angel. Those battles had made her feel alive and to feel good about living.
Asuka knew the honeymoon would be over now, and now it was time to sever all ties with this horrible little boy. Even as a little girl she wanted to live alone. She didn't need anyone. She didn't want anyone, she could be alone, and all that was needed was to bring this rock down on Shinji's head. To finally be rid of him once and for all.
"I'll kill you. I'll kill you." She chanted. Shinji, his head swimming for the furious blows Asuka had thrown, looked up at her. In his eyes, Asuka could see everyone she ever knew. Her mother, her father, Kaji, Misato, Rei, Touji, and Shinji. The blood in her body exploded with a burning energy, which empowered her last roar of rage. "I'll kill you all!" Asuka brought the heavy stone back and heaved it over her head.
The rock struck with heavy thud and tumbled away, settling at the lowest part of the ditch. Asuka panted, staring at the clean stone where it lay in the grass, several meters off of it's mark. A complete miss. She could hear Shinji slowly breathing underneath her, but all she could do was stare at the stone. A simple peace of rock had managed to betray her. Or was it? Asuka stared down at her hands, not understanding why she couldn't go through will killing her tormentor once and for all.
Two shots rang out into the air and Asuka snapped her head towards the road where two men in army green coveralls stood on the road in front of a jeep. One of the men slowly lowered his pistol from a target in the sky towards Asuka and the badly beaten Shinji.
"Das ist genug." The soldier announced in German. Asuka was dumbfounded. The man motioned for her to stand using the muzzle of his gun. She did so, slowly. Asuka looked down at Shinji who stared at her, just as silent.
"Fuck you." She breathed before the second soldier grabbed by the arms and held them behind her back. She didn't resist as she felt the cold metal of handcuffs wrapped her wrists. She was lead to the jeep and sat down while the other soldier went to retrieve her victim.
At first, Asuka didn't know why she allowed herself to be captured. More than likely, her fate was going to be death. After some thought however, Asuka realized that had she actually killed Shinji in that moment, they would have killed her too. In this way she could at the very least ensure her survival. What was the point of death if both you and the one you wish to kill are both dead. Suicidal killings seemed meaningless. Somehow she would manage to get out of this and ensure that Shinji died. It was just that simple.
"Das ist, an was ich mich erinnern kann." Asuka announced frankly, leaning against the wooden table. In the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the single banker's lamp, it was difficult to see the man's features but she could tell he was nodding as he scribbling something down in the notepad on his lap.
"Danke. Alles das ist." The man thanked Asuka and stood up to leave. Behind him, someone opened the door into the room.
"Nein. Wir werden nicht noch getan." This visitor sounded very authoritative. Asuka squinted to try and see his features in the light. The first man hesitated.
"Kapitän, ich habe bereits alle daten, die wir benötigen."
"Nein. Es gibt ruhige fragen, die antworten müssen."
"Wem sind die Hölle sie?" Asuka blurted out in her usually impudent way. This 'Captain' didn't really sound very intimidating, and as far as she could tell in the dim light, he was shorter than the first man. Likely a lower ranked officer. There was a dead silence as the captain glared at her, his eyes gleaming in the light. During the lull, the other officer slipped out of the room.
"Ich stelle die fragen, Frau." The captain breathed. From his pocket, he placed a voice recorder onto the table and turned it on before sitting down. "Now then, Miss Sohryu, I expect you to answer my questions truthfully, considering what you say will have great bearing on whether you will actually be able to leave here or not." Asuka was surprised in the captain's fluency in Japanese. "Is that understood?"
"Yes." Asuka finally responded.
"Very well. What is the purpose of NERV?" Asuka paused, not really understanding why this member of the military was asking such an elementary question.
"To produce and command the Evangelions. To protect humanity from the Angels."
"I should let you know that I am not going to be very patient with you, but I do admit that I probably phrased that question incorrectly. What is the real purpose of NERV?" The captain drew close, so Asuka's and the lamp illuminated his face. Asuka's heart froze as she stared in both surprise and terror and the person sitting across from her.
To Be Continued...
Author's Notes
I have managed to keep my chapters to about eight pages save for this one. I feel sort of bad that I didn't try to add any more information, but I felt the less I chatted during the scrap between Asuka and Shinji the more emotional it would become.