Thank you SO much for all your reviews! I totally loved them!
Well, some of you don't like the way I've portrayed Sakura is this fin and the first one, "With You". But that's okay because that's what fan fiction is all about: trying new things and doing things your own way.
Thanks again to all the reviewers (I wish I was allowed to put your names) you all rock!
Oh, and for those of you who like Inuyasha and Gundam Seed, on my xanga are a bunch of screenshots...I was bored lol
Enjoy!
With Or Without You
Chapter Six: Jealousy
XxXxX Syaoran's POV XxXxX
(Yes, I give you his POV. I wasn't going to give it at all in this story, but whatever. Enjoy!)
Something, was going on between Sakura and this new guy, Kent.
I had no idea what, but I intended to find out, fast.
I sat, at lunch, with Eriol, Tomoyo and Meilin by the fountain, where we always sat. But one of us was missing.
Sakura.
When I scanned the courtyard for the beautiful auburn-haired girl, who I just happened to be madly in love with, there she was, just sitting there, chatting away with Kent.
Who did that American think he was?
(AN-Just so you know, and so I don't get yelled at or anything later, I have NOTHING against Americans! This story is not meant to bash them or anything, this is just how I thought up Kent, okay? So please, don't think that I dislike Americans, because one of my better friends is American! Thanks)
"What is she doing?" I couldn't help but ask, turning to Tomoyo, who had her gray eyes fixed on Sakura and Kent, as did I.
She turned to me and shrugged. "What, Sakura and Kent? They're just friends. Why does it matter, you're engaged now, aren't you?"
I felt my cheeks flare somewhat. This wasn't like Tomoyo…was she…mad at me?
Hell, I'd be mad at me, too! I had never even met Ciria, and yet I'd agreed to marry her.
Well, I hadn't agreed to, actually. It was more like being blackmailed.
Yeah, my own mother was blackmailing me into marrying some random sister-in-law of Meilin's.
Did I like it? Not one bit.
Why?
Because I wouldn't be with Sakura.
I sighed and lowered my head into my hands, something I seemed to be doing a lot lately, that along with sighing.
God I missed Sakura. I had missed her like hell over the past two months while I was in Hong Kong, and now that I was back in Japan, so close to her, I missed her even more…because I couldn't have her.
But I couldn't just break off the engagement, my family would disown me…and I most definitely couldn't have an affair…though it was tempting.
But…what Sakura has said to me "I always thought love was worth fighting for" that had hit home. She was right…
Sure, I'd fought for her, I'd fought like hell, but I'd lost in the end. What was I supposed to do now?
My first instinct was to beat the shit out of Kent, then steal Sakura away where we could live together in peace, but my second instinct, which was to just sit there and glare, took over.
So I just sat there, and glared at the blonde-haired, tanned wannabe of Sakura's heart.
Sakura…was…mine.
I would kill him if he touched her.
Kent, from across the way, caught a hint of my stare, but he must have mistaken it for something, for he smiled at me, then turned right back to Sakura and…oh my God.
"What's he doing?" I snarled, moving to get up when Eriol grabbed my arm, holding me back.
He'd touched Sakura's arm…why?
Seriously, he'd just reached out and stroked her arm! Who the hell did he think he was?
"Chill Syaoran, chill." Meilin said, not even looking up from her lunch. "Why are you freaking out?"
"Did you see what he did?" I growled.
"Yeah, and it's nothing." Meilin said. "They're just friends, God. Besides, you blew it with her."
I did?
Oh yeah…engagement…Sakura's tears…damn it.
I really did screw it up.
Frowning, yet again, I relaxed, somewhat, back onto the grass beside the fountain, my eyes never leaving Sakura and Kent.
Why was she talking to him anyway?
"Stop being so paranoid Syaoran." Meilin mumbled, just enough so I could hear.
"I'm not being paranoid."
"You are so!" Meilin pretty much laughed. "God Syaoran, give up on Ciria and get with the girl you're actually in love with!"
"You know I can't do that." I hissed. "My mom will freak, she'll disown me, Meilin!"
"So? Isn't love worth fighting for?"
I gaped at her. Where were they getting this stuff?
"Have you talked to Sakura? Because she said the exact same thing." I asked tonelessly.
"It's true, though." Meilin sighed.
She got up then and tossed her food in the trash, beginning to walk away.
"Where are you going Meilin?" Tomoyo asked.
"To talk to Sakura and Kent," she said, tossing an arrogant smirk my way. "Who knows? Maybe Kent will be more than just a friend soon."
"Meilin." I growled.
"Buh-bye!" she grinned, turning and walking away.
She was so…right.
What was I going to do?
XxXxX Still Syaoran's POV XxXxX
I sighed, pressing on the gas, speeding down the streets of Tamoeda, staring blankly at the road ahead.
I was loosing Sakura, and did I ever know it.
Well…I still had a chance, yes, but if I kept this up much longer, I would loose her…and this time there may be no chance of ever getting back together.
Damn, engagements ruined things.
I turned up the stereo, I was somewhat upset to hear Jesse McCartney was playing over the radio. Obviously, I didn't like him.
But then I listened to the lyrics, and I decided to keep the song on.
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
But then you're voice pulls me back like a wake-up call
I've been looking for the answer somewhere…
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Interesting song…
I frowned, a light snow slowly starting to fall silently against my windshield.
I recognized this part of town…
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself
When nobody else can help
Because you live girl
My world…
Has twice as many stars in the sky
This was…
"Penguin park." I smiled, pulling to the side of the road and putting the car in park.
I hadn't been here in a while.
I took a deep breath of clear air as I got out from the car, taking in the familiar sight of the park.
I wasn't surprised to find it completely deserted.
Smiling faintly, I walked into the park and stared up at the penguin slide, remembering how, on one of my first nights in Japan, Sakura and her two friends, Eriol and Tomoyo, had taken Meilin and I to this park, and Sakura had sat on top of the slide as if it were her perch to see the world.
I frowned, shoving my hands in my pockets, letting the snow fall down around me. I hated the thought that I was the one who had hurt Sakura.
Damn it…I didn't want to marry Ciria…but it was so hard.
Especially after what had happened between Sakura and I over the past few months.
"That's right," I breathed, staring up at the penguin slide longingly, wishing that, if I stared at it long enough, Sakura would magically appear on top. "I'd only been with Sakura for a few months..."
Only a few months…why was this so hard? If it were a few years then I could see why my heart pulsed and my stomach churned every time I thought of her…but I'd only known her for a few months.
So why is it that I was so in love with Sakura? Why couldn't I let her go?
Because I loved her, with all my heart. Maybe it was destiny, who knew, but all I knew was that I was fully in love with Sakura, and it had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do…when I'd accepted, after a long battle, my engagement.
I hadn't even gotten a chance to tell Sakura how much I really loved her. Sure, I'd told her, but it wasn't the same…and I hadn't even gotten the chance to tell her that I was, indeed, staying in Tamoeda for college…
I hadn't even gotten the chance to ask her to marry me.
I had the ring and everything, too…but no, I just had to go back to Hong Kong and have my life ruined.
If only uncle hadn't died…then I wouldn't be in this mess.
I would be with Sakura then, not out in Penguin Park, in the snow.
By now the snow had fallen so much that I was fairly close to being covered and somewhat wet.
Unless I wanted a cold, I should get home.
Just as I was about to turn and walk back to my car, however, I saw a familiar figure walk past on the other side of the road.
XxXxX Sakura's POV XxXxX
I was dead. So, so dead.
What had made me do that? What? What? What?
Could it be my bitterness towards Syaoran at the moment? Could it be that I just wanted to feel wanted again?
Whatever it was, I was screwed.
Why did I have to say yes to Kent?
Damn it…he'd just gone right out and asked, too, I hadn't even made up an amazing sorry-but-I'm-still-obsessed-over-my-former-boyfriend speech.
But I had said yes to Kent's offer to a date.
And now I was dead.
But…maybe it'll be good for me. I thought, nodding slightly. Maybe Kent will help me move on.
Whoa, I was confused.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, and my mind couldn't help but flash back to the time when I'd hit a guy with an umbrella because he and his friends were beating up Syaoran.
I couldn't help but wonder if it were him.
The guy, not Syaoran.
Though, at the moment, I'd rather not see either.
But, of course, I never get what I want.
Much.
As the person set their hand on my shoulder, I let out a little gasp and spun around, swiping my hand through the air.
And, surprisingly enough, my hand connected with a cheek.
Awesome!
Once I saw who it was, however, I wasn't as happy.
"Syaoran? What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but growl.
I wasn't meaning to sound rude or anything, it was just that, well, he kept popping up at inopportune moments!
"I should be asking you the same thing." Syaoran smirked, rubbing his cheek. "It's snowing and cold Sakura, a little late coming home from school?"
"Yes." I answered bluntly.
Syaoran sighed and shook his head sadly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
His hair was totally covered with snow, along with his shoulders and part of his jacket.
Damn, he looked hot, even when covered in snow.
The way he looked then kind of reminded me of when he, Meilin, Tomoyo and I had stayed over at Eriol's house and had a pillow fight.
The pillows has broken and there'd been feathers everywhere, covering everyone, like snow.
"Sakura," Syaoran said softly, breaking me from my happy memories. "I need to talk to you."
"I don't think there's much else that you can say, Syaoran." I answered just as softly, hugging myself with my arms.
The world around me had just grown a bit colder, for some odd reason.
"Sakura, I want you to know that I don't want this." Syaoran said, looking down at me with those dark eyes that I had fallen for not so long ago…
Wait, I was still falling. I was still in love with Syaoran.
I loved him, but I didn't like him at the moment.
Damn my life was confusing.
"Listen, Syaoran," I sighed, feeling my heart start to race in my chest. Screw Meilin's plan, there was no way that I could win Syaoran back! This situation, this engagement, was too big to just screw up, Syaoran's family life was at risk here, and I wasn't about to ruin that for him.
I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
"I think," I said, my hands shaking as I clutched them tightly in front of me. "That we should…move on. I know we aren't together anymore but...I think we both should just let go."
Let go...Oh God...like I'd ever be able to let go!
I looked up at him then, and I don't think I've ever heard this street be so silent.
Seriously, it was almost as if someone had hit the mute.
I stared up into his eyes, trying to sort through all the emotions that I was seeing in them. What was he thinking?
Syaoran blinked then, and I turned away, my cheeks flaring.
"I guess…" he said softly, lowering his head, his bangs shading his eyes. "That you're right."
I was? No! You aren't supposed to say that you ass! You're supposed to sweep me into your arms and kiss me! You are supposed to take me home with you! You are supposed to love me Syaoran! Love me!
Too bad I couldn't say any of that aloud.
I nodded stiffly. Why couldn't he just kiss me? When I'd broken up with him in Hong Kong, that was the first thing he did! If he kissed me now, I would so reconsider what I had just said!
But instead of kissing me, or anything, really, he just gave me a faint smile.
Then he crossed the street and got into his car.
Well, I really got two birds with one stone there. I'd broken both our hearts.
DAMN IT!
Okay! Hope you liked it! Review!