Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Warming: Remus breaks it off with Dora at the end of this chapter. Major tearjerker! Review of what happens during the break between 'OotP' and 'HBP'. We know something big had to happen between Remus and Dora for both of them to be a mess during 'HBP'. The story earns its 'M' rating in this chapter. They are such a parallel to Harry and Ginny's relationship.

Thank you all for your emails! Here's the chapter!

Thanks to Godricgal for beta'ing!

Part Two: 'The Half-Blood Prince'

Chapter Five- Two Hearts Broken

Tonks spent the next week and a half dedicated to recovery and relaxation. It had been decided that tomorrow she would return to work. She also spent this time getting to know her other half, Remus Lupin, better. They had known each other for over a year, but Tonks was discovering there was a lot more to the man than met the eye and Lupin was discovering that there was a very serious witch underneath the bubblegum pink hair and wild Muggle clothes. He had moved her into one of the guest bedrooms after their return from London. Lupin was still insisting on a proper courtship (much to Tonks' annoyance), but as the week had progressed it had become harder and harder to say good night to one another and go to their separate rooms. It had been a week where dreams had been fulfilled. Then Reality had set in last night.

Her co-Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt, has stopped by a last night to brief her on the changes at the Ministry of Magic and in the Wizarding world because Lupin did not get The Daily Prophet delivered so they had been effectively cut off from everything all week.

The Wizarding world had screamed for Cornelius Fudge's resignation. He got the sack as Minister and was replaced, as Lupin's rumour had it, by the head of the Auror Department, Rufus Scrimgeour. Fudge was also facing an inquiry into the battle at the Ministry and the murder of Tonks' now proclaimed innocent cousin, Sirius Black.

Shacklebolt had been assigned to guard the Muggle Prime Minister. Tonks was being assigned as part of the team guarding Hogsmeade, the all wizarding village outside of Hogwarts.

In sad news, Amelia Bones, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and Emmeline Vance, a member of the Order of the Phoenix, were both found murdered in their homes. The Death Eaters were making their presence known with support from the dementors (who were breeding) and the giants.

"In other words, Kingsley, the whole bloody world's falling apart!" Tonks concluded angrily. Lupin sighed at her pronouncement, knowing she was right.

"Exactly, Tonks. Both Fudge and Scrimgeour are trying to get to Harry Potter, you know 'The Chosen One'."

"'The Chosen One'? Oh God, the poor kid. I thought 'The Boy Who Lived' was bad. Why 'The Chosen One'?" Tonks asked.

"The Prophet's found out about the battle at The Ministry and has been speculating about the contents of the prophesy."

"And how did thebloody Daily Prophet find out?" Lupin growled.

"Who knows! There's an inquiry into that as well. Anyway, both Ministers have been trying to get to him so that he can voice his support for the Ministry. However, Dumbledore won't allow him access to Harry. He says that Harry is to stay at his aunt and uncle's house for a bit longer."

"I though Sirius said he would leave Harry's guardianship to you, Remus." Tonks asked

"Legally, Harry's guardians are his Muggle relations. Sirius said he would leave his role of godfather to me. We just have to wait until his will is verified. Meanwhile, I told Dumbledore that he had permission to deal with the Ministry when it came to Harry. Besides, they won't listen to a werewolf no matter what. They'd probably take him away if they even knew. Harry doesn't know either. It's best for him."

Both Shacklebolt and Tonks made protests of anger, but both understood Lupin's point.

"It's been a rough week for all." Shacklebolt said standing to leave. "We are going to need to band together or we are going to lose this war. Now, I'm off to my nice, new Muggle apartment. Thank you for your hospitality, Remus. I shall see you both around."

Tonks and Lupin escorted him to the Manor's apparition point. After he had said good night and Disapparated, Tonks turned to Lupin. He silently opened his arms and she went to him. He held her as she cried.

After she calmed down, they went back inside where Katrina, Lupin's house elf, fussed over them. After serving dinner, she went to her quarters, leaving her Master alone with his love.

"Some chaperone she is." Tonks joked, in a much better mood now, as they set up the chessboard. She turned out to be, much to Lupin's surprise, a very serious and very able player. She had innocently suggested that they play a game the night that they had came back from London. He found himself locked in a fierce chess battle three hours later neither would give.

"You're complaining about that she left us alone? I'm up a couple of games, correct?" He smiled at her.

"There is absolutely no way I'd complain about that. I'd swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that my mother ordered her to leave us alone at all possible times." Lupin laughed. "Mum's proud I made it through Auror Training and Qualifications, however, according to her, all witches are to be happily married with children. In your dreams you are, I'm up five games, darling."

"Five? Damnit, you cheated on the last two games by wearing a low-cut shirt. Andromeda will get her way soon. Are we going to…?"

"Not my fault you couldn't keep your concentration." She smirked at him, making the opening move. "If you want some." All their serious conversations about the future went along these lines.

"I'd like to see you play Ron Weasley. He'd wipe the floor with you. I'd like a couple."

"Did he really make it past McGonagall's transfigured chessboard to help Harry save the Philosopher's Stone from Voldemort in his first year?"

"Yes, he did." Tonks whistled her admiration. "He injured himself badly in the process. Have you told your parents about us yet?" He asked with a countermove.

"The poor kid's been messed up something rotten several times since he met Harry, huh? Yes, I owled them the other day. She's thrilled since she remembers you from school. Dad kind of does."

"I was an eleven year old first year! Do they know about…?"

"You being a werewolf? Yep, said it made sense. While they acknowledge it, it's not a major issue. Mum always knew you were a very sickly child at school and there had to be something to it. She remembers that you were always very polite to her. Mum might have been your Head Girl, but she was also a Slytherin. You know we Gryffindors don't get alone with Slytherins well." Lupin snorted with laugher. "However, since Dumbledore trusts you, she trusts you with me. More important to her is that Sirius trusted you. You were on of his best mates, and he, while he thought it was funny, was still head of the Black family. Finally, you make me happy, and that's all she and Dad really care about. Checkmate, darling."

"How!" He looked down at the board in surprise. "I was chess champion in my day, you know."

"So was I." She smirked.

"Forgot to mention that, did you?"

"So did you! What are you going to do about it?" Her voice was laced with innuendo.

"Let me show you." Lupin knocked the chessboard out of his way. Taking her by surprise, he pinned her to the couch before she could react, he captured her mouth in a searing kiss.

Tonks groaned with pleasure as she returned his kiss. Her groans turned to gasps as he fingered the neckline of her shirt.

Throwing her head back, she allowed him better access; he growled his pleasure and ripped her shirt in half, exposing her chest.

"That was my favourite t-shirt. Did you have to rip it?"

"I'll buy you another one." He muttered. "Do your knickers match?" He grunted as she kissed him.

"Only one way to find out." She teased.

He went for her jeans zip but paused as she spoke again.

"I use to fantasize about some things about you during Order meetings."

"What would they be?" He asked.

She grinned, pulling his jumper up over his head. Tossing it aside, she yelled, "I knew it! You're an undershirt man." She pulled it off and it joined his jumper on the floor.

He threw his head back and laughed. "I was thinking boxers or briefs." He moaned as she traced the scars on his chest with her tongue.

"Oh, that too. Especially when Snivy would start blabbering on about how wonderful he was. Stupid git!" He laughed at her nickname for Severus Snape." I'd go all glassy eyed and ignore him, fantasying about what you were wearing underneath your clothes." She traced a light scar on his chest.

"You know what I use to fantasize about you then?" He asked, running his hands through her silky hair.

"What?" She moaned as he kissed his way up to her ear.

"Whether you wore cotton or lace knickers." He whispered into her ear. "And did you have matching sets? Would you be a good girl or a naughty girl in bed?"

Tonks waved her hand at her pink lace bra, her dark eyes sparkling. "Lace, obliviously. I'm a naughty girl, you should have know that already, but, I still don't know whether it's the boxers or the briefs."

"Only one way to find out." He repeated her words back to her.

"Are you sure about this? You keep going on about a proper courtship." This was the furthest they had ever taken it.

His response was to unzip her jeans. "You do match!" He unhooked her bra.

She laughed at the pleasure in his voice. "Glad I could make you happy." She unzipped his trousers. "Oh, boxers, very nice, very impressive as well, darling." He kissed her again, very passionately. She returned his passion.

They were locked in that position for quite a while. Their heads whipped apart as a loud knock resounded from the front door.

"What the hell!" Tonks shouted, coming out of her passion induced stupor.

"Who could that be at this time of night?" Lupin asked sounding equally frustrated. "I have to answer that, you need to get dressed." He told her pulling his jumper over his head and carefully zipping up his trousers.

"How? You ripped my shirt in half." She asked, shaking her torn shirt at him. She fell off the couch trying to zip her jeans

"I'm sorry, love. I really wanted to…" He told her as he picked her up. He kissed her hard. "Go upstairs. I'll handle this."

"Like hell you will. I'm the trained professional." She returned his kiss. "Give me your undershirt, and then go get the door." He quickly and silently complied.

"Where's my bra?" She hissed at him.

"I don't know." He hissed back. "We'll find it later."

She pulled on his undershirt and joined him at the door, wand at the ready.

Lupin opened the door wandlessly. As he recognized the form on his front doorstep, he asked, "Headmaster?"

"Ah, good evening, Remus. Yes, it is I." Albus Dumbledore said as he entered. "And Nymphadora, how are you feeling?" He asked Tonks as she pocketed her wand.

"Much better, Professor." She replied, hoping that the Headmaster would not notice that she was not wearing a bra, Lupin's undershirt, her mouth swollen with his kisses, and that her hair was a tumbled mess. However, she knew that Dumbledore never missed anything.

"Ah, excellent, excellent. I'm pleased to hear that. I've told you both several times to call by my given name." Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Sorry, sir." They muttered both feeling like schoolchildren again.

"On to business. Why have I have called this late at night? I wish to speak to Remus." The Headmaster suddenly looked very serious. "Alone, Miss Tonks."

Her eyes widened but she answered, "Of course, Head…Albus. I'll go upstairs to my room. Good night, sir, Remus." Tonks turned and headed upstairs.

She caught Lupin's eye as she he followed Dumbledore into the living room. For a brief second, they head each other's gazes. Lupin broke the contact and turned away.

Tonks knew in that moment she that she had lost him. With a heavy heart, she continued upstairs to her room. She knocked on Katrina's door and informed the house elf that her Master had company. Upon reaching her room, Tonks threw herself on the bed and began to cry.

An hour and a half later, Lupin knocked on Tonks' door. When he got no response, he cracked open the door and peered in. By the moonlight, he could see that she was asleep.

Entering her room, he noted that she was still fully dressed in his undershirt and her jeans. As he got closer, he could see the tear marks streaked down her pale cheeks. He knew that he was the cause of her tears and it killed him. He frowned at her mousy brown hair, in all the time that he had known her, he had never seen it that colourless drab colour. He sat down on the opposite side of the bed, he smoothed her hair down then sighed, realizing what it symbolized.

Standing back up he picked up her blanket which was folded on top of the truck at the end of the bed. He laid down beside her and he covered them both. Exhausted both physically and mentally, he soon fell asleep.

Tonks stirred early the next morning. She sat up in bed and quickly realized that she was not alone. Lupin was asleep beside her.

He woke as he felt her gaze on him. Opening his amber eyes, they met her dark ones.

"Morning." She said quietly.

"Good morning, Nymphadora." He responded.

"Can you tell me why the Headmaster called last night?" She noted that he had not called her 'love', as he had been for the past week, but her given name.

"He wants me to go underground." He told her.

"With the werewolves?"

"Yes."

"To spy." Tonks said disgusted.

"Exactly. Almost all of the werewolves are going to Voldemort's side, he's promising us all sorts of freedoms that the Ministry denies us."

"Them, Remus, not us! You are nothing like them! How could Dumbledore even suggest that you of all people do this! Why!" Tonks bounded off the bed in anger.

"He wants to try, Nymphadora." She twitched at her given name. "I'm a readymade spy. With Hagrid and the giants, he almost succeeded. He has to try with the werewolves." He stood up as well.

"What the hell's going on with my hair?" She shrieked, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She tried to morph it, but failed. She winced at the pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked with worry, remembering that she she had experienced pain when she morphed earlier in the week. She had spent the remainder of the week in her natural state, morphing only when Shacklebolt came calling.

"I'm fine." Tonks lied knowing that she had lost control of her ability. "But why!" She asked him, still shrieking.

Lupin was alarmed. He had never seen her so emotional before. "Greyback's out there, marshalling the werewolves for Voldemort, I have to see if I can convince any of them to come onto our side."

"Is this personal then? He is the one that bit you."

"No." He responded, knowing it was partially a lie. She knew that he was lying, but did not comment.

"They know that you've been living as a wizard. They're not going to listen to you especially with you offering them nothing. Voldemort is promising all that the Ministry is denying them. Of course they'll side with him, not that I blame them either." She told him.

"I have to try, Nymphadora." There was her given name again.

"And what about us?" she asked quietly.

Lupin raised his eyes to her hers. He didn't have to say a word. Like last night, it was all in his gaze. Tonks began to cry softly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely. "I have to do this. Forget about me, about us. Find someone young and whole, who will love and take care of you."

"I'm sorry too, Remus, for what you're going to have to go through, it's going to be everything that you hate, I can take care of myself." She placed a small hand on his cheek and caressed a scar there. "Please, be as safe as you can and hold on to the fact that I love you. Goodbye, darling."

With those words, Tonks turned on her heel, grabbed her rucksack, and left him standing in the middle of the room. Lupin heard the sound of her Disapparation a few moments later.

When Katrina looked in on her Master a while later, there were still tears streaming down his face. He knew he was the cause of both his and his love's heartbreak.

TBC