Intimate Confessions
Gijane
Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One
Chapter Notes: Dora's scene in Chapter Five of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (American hardback ed, pgs 81-82). All text in italics is direct from the book. My take on what happened just before Harry and Dumbledore arrived. The way Molly acted around Remus the whole book, I'm pretty sure Dora told her what happened between them. Why could everyone but Dumbledore and Lupin see the futility of Remus's mission?
Welcome to the Review Club Lupinfangirl! Thanks to Godricgal for sub beta-ing again!
Chapter Six – Motherly Love
Molly Weasley looked up from her Christmas knitting as three knocks sounded at her back door. She was waiting up for her husband, Arthur, to come home from work at the Ministry of Magic. Three knocks meant an Order of the Phoenix member was calling.
She cautiously went into the kitchen. Peeking out the kitchen window, she called out nervously, "Who's there? Declare yourself!"
"It's me, Molly, Tonks." Molly's stomach immediately clenched in anguish as she though of Arthur and her two sons who were members of the Order along with Tonks.
"Everyone's fine." Tonks called out, knowing what Molly was thinking.
Molly let out the breath she had been holding. Tightening the belt of her old green dressing gown, she opened the door to admit the young Auror. She let out a gasp as the kitchen light spilled out onto the porch.
She had been expecting a bright-eyed, pink haired, cheerful Nymphadora Tonks. She barely recognized the witch on her doorstep. She had drab mousy brown hair and her normally pale heart shaped face was chalk-white. However, what disturbed Molly most of all were Tonks' dark eyes. Instead of sparking (usually with mischief), they were dull, no light to them at all.
"Wotcher, Molly." She said listlessly, forcing a smile. "Everyone's okay. I just needed to…to…"
Molly opened her arms and Tonks rushed into the motherly embrace. She burst out into hysterical crying.
Molly managed to get her into the house, through the kitchen, and into the living room. Banishing her knitting, she sat Tonks on the couch. Taking her place beside her, she reopened her arms and held her again.
She knew it was best to let Tonks cry it out. Halfway through, Ginny, the youngest and only Weasley daughter stuck her head into the living room. She took one look at hysterical Tonks and a look of horror crossed her face. Her mother shook her negativity, assuring her child that her Order family members were okay. Molly silently shooed Ginny away. She left, extremely worried about her friend.
Tonks' tears finally subsided. Molly took her face in her hands and gently asked, "Tea, dear?"
"Okay." Tonks answered in a little girl voice, willing to be mothered. She wished she had a five year olds nonexistent problems.
"Come into the kitchen." Molly stood Tonks, quickly steadying her. She guided her into the kitchen.
"Take off your cloak and just toss it on the bench, dear."
"I must really be a mess if I don't have to hang it up." Tonks' joke fell flat.
Molly, at the sink filling the teakettle, closed her eyes to stop the tears that formed. Tonks always had her laughing (or trying hard not to laugh), whether it was appropriate or not.
Clearing her throat, she asked, "Didn't you return to work today? Arthur said you were. He's still there now."
"Yeah, I did. I'm part of the Hogsmeade team. I only lasted a few hours though. When Scrimgeour, I mean the Minister, visited today, he took one look at me and sent me home. Sad thing is his quietly offered his condolences for Sirius to me."
"Dear, it's practically midnight. Where did you go?" Molly wondered if part of Tonks' state was due to her cousin. She knew that Tonks had spent the week at Lupin Manor with Remus Lupin, Sirius' best friend. Surly he had condoled her. Molly closed her eyes as another thought came to mind.
"Well, I Apparated back and wandered around Muggle London a bit. Then I went to see Mum and Dad."
"How are they, dear?" Molly asked politely.
"Fine. I'll tell them you said hello next time I drop by."
"Please do, thank you. Where did you go next?"
"After I played with my dinner, I left 'cause Mum started asking Twenty Questions. So, I went to my flat and took a nap. I woke up, then couldn't go back to sleep. I decided that I needed to talk, so I came here. I can't talk to Mum about this. Is it okay that I came here?" Tonks looked at her with fresh tears in her eyes
"Of course! Oh, Tonks dear, tell me what happened."
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"About what? You spending the week alone with Remus at Lupin Manor with just a house elf for a chaperone? No, dear, I won't lecture right now. Tell me what happened."
"We admitted our feelings to each other."
Molly beamed. "Finally!"
Tonks managed a weak smile. "Yes, I suppose that everyone else but us realized what was going on."
"Just about, dear. It's okay. We found the two of you so clueless about each others feeling completely endearing." Molly went to the teakettle as it began to whistle. "Dumbledore especially. You know he loves the notion of love."
"Oh God, even the Headmaster knew? We both knew, we just never said anything."
"Yes, even the Headmaster knew." Molly bit back a smile as Tonks sighed and dropped her head on the table.
Placing a large mug of tea in front of Tonks, she sat back down at the table and waited for the younger woman to continue. After a moment of silence, she prompted her, "You left St Mungos for Lupin Manor."
"Did you know Remus owned the Manor?" Tonks asked suddenly. "I had no idea. He has a house elf as well."
"I knew about the Manor. Siri-it was mentioned one night." Molly finished a bit flustered.
"Sirius. You can talk about him in front of me, Molly. Remus and I went through our grief together."
"Well, yes, Sirius mentioned it one night. Remus didn't even blink. In fact, he started teasing Sirius about how his family could rival the Blacks. However, his family wasn't pureblood crazy. That really annoyed Sirius. Remus might not say much, but when he does it's meaningful."
Tonks smiled slightly. "Very true." Lupin had called her 'love' all week, something he wouldn't do unless he meant it.
"So after you left King's Cross, you went back to the Manor."
"Oh, Molly, it was wonderful!" Tonks sighed at her memories. "The Manor's in the Cotswolds, such beautiful countryside! Especially for this London girl. We would spend hours sitting outside just talking. Or reading to each other. I challenged him to chess. He lost horribly."
Molly laughed. "Don't try to tell me he took on an Auror in a game of strategy."
"Thought since he was chess champ, poor little pink haired me didn't stand a chance. He was wrong." Tonks rushed on before Molly could ask about her hair. "He taught me all about the Manor. All the stories, all the history. It such a beautiful house! He has a family tree just like the Blacks, but his is folded away in the trunk at the foot of the master bed. It was amazing to learn it all. I wish he could go back teaching. It's his calling."
"All my children say that Professor Lupin was the only decent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher they had, including Percy." Molly's voice trembled at the mention of her third son.
"Don't worry. Percy'll come round sooner or later. I can see him sitting in his office admitting his parents were correct, but to stubborn to come home."
Molly brightened a bit. "You really think that?"
"Absolutely! It was so hard last year not conking him on the head whenever we passed in the hallways. He'll be back."
"So, you learned all the history of Remus' family? Is there a reason for that?" Molly asked, knowing what it meant when a wizard taught a witch his family history.
"We were courting and it was going to be a very short courtship." A lone tear slid down Tonks' cheek and dripped into her tea. "Molly? Are you okay?"
Molly was furious. "What happened?"
"Last night, well, let's just say we got hot and heavy and would have…if Dumbledore hadn't come calling."
"What did the Headmaster want?"
Tonks drew a breath. "I suppose I can tell you since you're an Order member as well. Remus is going underground with his fellow-"she said the word with such contempt that Molly raised an eyebrow, "werewolves to spy. To try to turn some to our side. It'll never happen. Voldemort's promising them all that the stupid Ministry denies them. If I was a werewolf, what I would choose? The Ministry screwed up with the dementors, they screwed up the giants, and now they're going to screw up the werewolves. You'd think they'd learn after a while. And Remus…poor Remus, is stuck in the middle of it all."
"Dumbledore sent Remus to live with the werewolves? Oh, he's going to hate it! He'll never fit in, he's lived as a wizard for too long. Oh dear!" Molly was flustered.
"I thought I was okay with Sirius. Well, as okay as I could be. Now I'm a mess over Remus. I can't even morph! This…"she fingered a lock of mousy brown hair in disgust, "happens when I'm depressed. Last time it was this colour, my Dad's mum had just passed. I loved her. I use to entertain Grandmother by morphing constantly and she would show me how to use all her Muggle gadgets." Tonks giggled at some memories that surfaced. "Arthur would have loved her. She was absolutely fascinated with the Wizarding world."
"Oh, dear, I'm so very sorry. Next time I see Remus I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"
"No, please don't Molly! I've thought about it. I can see why he wants to do this. I love him, so I have to let him try. I know he loves me, so I'm just going to wait. It's going to kill me, but I will. Until I hear otherwise, I wait."
"Oh, okay dear." Molly didn't look convinced. She wanted to roast Lupin for what he had done to Tonks.
Both women looked up as three knocks resounded from the back door again. Tonks stood up, drawing her wand, as Molly went to the kitchen window.
"Are you expecting anyone? "Tonks hissed. "Another Order member?"
"No. Albus isn't dropping Harry off until the morning. Who's there?" Molly called in a nervous voice. "Declare yourself!"
"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry." Came the Headmaster's voice. Tonks pocketed her wand and resumed her seat.
Molly opened the door at once. "Harry, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning."
"We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing of course. Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"
Tonks watched as Harry turned around, realizing that Molly was not alone. "Hello, Professor. Wotcher, Harry." She said forcing a smile. The last person she wanted to see tonight was Albus Dumbledore.
"Hi, Tonks." Poor Harry looked shocked at her appearance.
"I'd better be off," she said quickly. She stood up and pulled her cloak on. "Thanks for the tea and the sympathy, Molly."
Molly looked torn. She had Dumbledore and Harry now, but still wanted to talk to Tonks.
Dumbledore must have sensed this. "Please don't leave on my account. I cannot stay. I have an urgent matter to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."
"No, no, I need to get going." Tonks felt Dumbledore's eyes on her, but she refused to meet them. She couldn't, not right now. It was too soon. "'Night-"
"Dear, why don't you come to dinner at the weekend, Remus," Molly emphasised his name, "and Mad-Eye are coming-?"
"No, really, Molly…thanks anyway…Good night, everyone." Tonks risked a glance at Molly as she headed out. Molly looked extremely troubled.
Tonks hurried past Dumbledore and Harry into the yard; a few paces beyond the doorstep, she turned on the spot and vanished into thin air.