Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be
Dedication: This is to Mimi, who's having a tough time of it.
When I'm Sad I Slide… Into Drugs
Well, it's a release. It's my thing, and none of the others know about it. It's what makes me James Potter, but not that they'll ever know that.
They all think I should be happy. I have a big house, money, a new broom and a cat called My Wife. I don't know why the cat's called that. It just is. They all think I'm happy. I'm James! The leader, the mediator, the brother, the idol, the chaser. But I want to be James, the boy.
Well, my friends turn to me. They look to me for advice, for comfort. They want me to be big old squishy James, the guy who'll do stuff for YOU. Well, what if I want people to do stuff for me? What if I want comofort and advice? What if I want help?
But no. James Potter doesn't need that stuff. All James needs is a broom and Lily Evans. Well, I have a broom, and I'll have Lily Evans in a year or so. But until then, if I have a problem, what do I need? Cocaine. That's what James Potter needs.
It's a release. Wait, have I already said that? Probably, I'm not that good with words. But, this makes me like all those other kids out there. This makes me just James. This makes me… well me. It makes me let go of worries about Peter and his homework and Remus and his moon, and Sirius and his family. This makes me worry about me, and my next fix.
Am I selfish for not wanting to care, for just five minutes? Tell me if I am.