Thanks for the reviews, people! I hadn't planned on updating so soon, but what the heck, why not? Let's continue and see the plot take shape (yesyes, there actually is one )

Chapter 2

For all the improvements I tried to make in this Garden, the cafeteria food still tastes like… Well, to be honest it tastes exactly like the kind of grub you'd expect in the army barracks. And let's face it, that's all Garden really is.

I prod my fork in what's left of my lunch, but I can't really be bothered. A fitting analogy for my whole life: A dull, shapeless thing without sense or purpose.

Or at least it was until Seifer came back.

It's an overused cliché to say that we are two sides of the same thing. Like night and day, where one defines the other and the one is nothing without the other. But the thing about clichés is that they become clichés because they're so bloody true. No exception here.

I didn't sleep so well last night. I'd really been looking forward to play some computer games with him, and I can't help but feel a bit angry towards Rinoa for interrupting that over some stupid glasses. I know she meant well, but sometimes we just need to have a little time alone. Like girls go shopping, guys need some time to do… I don't know, guy-things. And I know she knows that or she'd freak every time I hang out with Zell or Irvine, too, and not just when it's Seifer.

… I wonder if there is something like an unforgivable mistake…

"Hi, care for some company?"

Startled, I look up from my lunch to see Rinoa standing there with a tray in her hand. She smiles at me in a very endearing way, and I just can't muster the courage to be mad at her. So I shove a chair in her general direction as an invitation.

She sits down readily and quickly starts drenching her salad in dressing.

"So, you had fun last night?" she asks between the dressing and her coffee. Her voice sounds a little on edge, but sincere enough.

I shrug in reply. "We didn't get 'round to the game. He left right after our little conversation," I inform her.

She gives me a look that hangs between 'knowing' and 'guilty'.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I was just worried."

"I know," I say, giving her a small, crooked smile. "I know you mean well. But you shouldn't fuss so much. I can take care of myself, you know. And worrying so much doesn't make you any happier either."

She sighs. "I know you're right. You're a big boy and I suppose you know what you're doing. It's just that…"

"Just that what?"

She's left too many of those comments hanging in the last few weeks, and they're slowly starting to piss me off. Then she gives me this longing look.

"Y'know, sometimes, when you talk like this, I almost believe everything's normal like before."

Apparently my patience has been on the fire since last night, because it's not until now that I realise it's about to reach boiling point. And it's when I'm boiling inside that people say I go all icy.

So for a few moments I say nothing. I force myself to turn off my internal stove and put my kettle of patience some place cooler.

Cooler, in my world, is more rational. And all things considered rationally, I have to admit that maybe she's making more sense than I like.

Rinoa fusses terribly when she's jealous. I know she does. It happened before. Her jealousy goes as little a way as me working late for an hour or two instead of taking her out. So me spending more and more time with Seifer lately, and thus less with her, is reason enough for her to get jealous. No harm meant. That's just the way she is. And it's true that right after the war, before Seifer came back, we had more time for each other.

"Earth to Squall?"

She wants us to go back to the way things were before. Before Seifer came back. But then again…

"Squall, you in there?"

I look up to meet her eyes. She smiles back at me. It makes it hard for me to tell the truth, but even harder to lie to her.

"I think I understand what you're saying, Rin. But… things just aren't normal without Seifer around. At least not for me. As long as I can remember, he was there. I know I've been neglecting you, but I also feel like I owe it to him to… I don't know, make up for lost time. If that make sense."

She abandons her lunch and her arms wrap around my neck.

"It does, honey, it does. Things did get terribly screwed up between the two of you. And it's not your fault that others don't understand you." She pulls back to look at me, and there is that smile again. "Even if that means..."

She is interrupted when Quistis en Zell walk up to our table, both carrying a tray of food. From the look of it, today is one of those rare days that Zell actually gets his hands on some hot dogs.

"Hey people!" he exclaims enthusiastically. "Mind if we join you? All other tables are taken."

Of course, he sits down without waiting for an answer. Doesn't matter, since I wasn't planning on giving him one. It's common knowledge that Zell is the master of rhetorical questions.

Quistis is a little more self-conscious, but she joins us nevertheless after exchanging a glance with Rinoa.

As soon as they're settled, Rinoa comments on Zell's over-stacked plate and I consciously dissociate myself from the discussion that ensues. Food is not my favourite topic of conversation and lately Quistis and Zell haven't been anywhere near the top of my list of favourites either, considering that they are the ringleaders of the whole 'Seifer is evil'-campaign. Well, Quistis is. Zell just follows her lead, like he always has.

This means that all I can do is hope, against better judgement, that last night's events don't butt into the conversation somewhere. I won't hear the end of it if they find out. But it's just a matter of time before the discussion grinds to a halt after Rinoa drops a line with Seifer's name in it…

"No, I didn't get much sleep with the ruckus going on in Squall's room. Apparently Seifer dropped some glasses."

Like friggin' clockwork. You'd think she'd be on my side, being my girlfriend and all.

Naturally, Quistis stops dead in her tracks, abandoning every other line of thought the way she tends to do these days when she hear Seifer's name. Honestly, if I didn't know any better I'd say she's in love with the guy. Or me. I don't know which is more disturbing.

Now if she wants to jump on Seifer's case at every opportunity she gets, that's her problem. However, if she then turns to me with that look in her eyes, it very quickly becomes my problem, too.

"We've been over this, Squall. What you're doing isn't healthy."

Here we go again… I fold my arms and look away, a long-accepted sign that I don't want to hear whatever comes next. But she's not letting go that easily.

"You can run and you can hide, but eventually you'll have to owe up to what happened."

"Whatever."

"The war wasn't just a dream, Squall. The fights really happened. People got killed. And Seifer…"

The noise that my falling chair makes as I snap to my feet cuts off the rest of her sentence. I can feel the rage behind my eyes, and the sudden looks of shock on their faces tell me they see it, too. My kettle of patience is back on the stove and on the verge of boiling over.

"I'm not interested in your already well-known opinion on this matter, Ms Trepe," I hiss. "Yes, the war happened, and so did all those deaths. But if you care to recall, Seifer wasn't solely responsible for the lives lost then. We and the rest of SeeD did more than our own fair share of killing, too. The only difference is that we were automatically forgiven because our side won. You'd do well to consider that."

That said, I storm off before any of them re-opens the discussion. Out the cafeteria, and then…

I head towards the dorms. As the carpet of the corridor streams by under my feet, I rerun what just happened. I'm so sick, so incredibly sick of their anti-Seifer-crusade! Ever since he came back two months ago, all I ever here is 'Seifer this' and 'Seifer that', and none of it is positive. No wonder he tends to keep to himself all the time.

Am I so blind that I don't see him for what he is, or am I the only one who sees him for what he is?

That question turns over and over in my head. Feeling tired to the bone, I lean heavily against the doorpost of my dorm. I can't even bring myself to type my entrance code on the numpad. I rub my hand over my face in an attempt to think clearly, but to no avail.

Being riddled by insecurity is the story of my life. My usual solution is to take distance and let the situation develop. But in this case, I'm not sure I can afford to take the risk to wait it out. The development could be pretty catastrophic.

That means I'll have to make a decision. Who do I believe?

"Yo, Leonheart! Up for a quick spar in the training centre?"

I snap up from my thoughts, and can't help but feel relieved when I see Seifer standing there, Hyperion casually slung over his shoulder. He cocks his head and eyes me with a frown.

"You look like shit."

I snort a laugh. "I feel like shit."

"Anything a good fight can remedy?"

"No, don't think so…"

He nods, accepting my decision but looking disappointed nonetheless. "I'll go chase some Grats then," he announces in reply.

Something in me doesn't want him to go. I don't want to be alone right now. "Well, that is…" I start.

He arches a questioning brow at me.

I shrug. "Maybe not a spar, but perhaps we could slaughter some digital demons, if you still feel like it."

The smile is in his eyes more an on his lips.

Feeling strangely revitalised and exhilarated, I turn to open my dorm. As the door opens and we step in, I realise that I don't have to decide who I believe. I've made that decision already.

Deciding is one thing. Getting your decision accepted by others is another entirely.

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