Here's the next chapter, I figured I'd try to get in a few before I started my busy week (I have practice every day this week). I'm hopeing to get in another one by the middle of next month.
An Awful Smirk
"Peter Pan." Peter jumped at the sound of his name, turning to see who had spoken he didn't see anybody. Furrowing his eyebrows he turned around againto see if they were behind him.
"Who's there?" He pulled out his sword, ready to attack anyone wholurkedin the bushes. Stepping under the trees he inspected each and every shadow.
A muffled cry sounded from behind him, he turned to see Kari. Ropes tied her to the tree and a gag covered her mouth, as she stared at him wide eyed. Or was she staring behind him? He rushed over, untying the cloth from her mouth without investigating further.
"Run Peter, It's a trap…" but before she could finish the hilt of a sword hit him in the back, wincing he fell to his knees. Crawling behind the tree he leaned against the trunk getting ready to attack.
"Come out, come out, Pan!" Switching plans he scampered up the tree, hiding in the branches. The speaker circled the tree, snapping twigs as he smirked up at the hidden Peter.
The branch cracked, Peter looked frantic trying to get to the next branch but slipped. He gave a cry as he connected with the tree while he fell, time stopped as the dust cleared from where he landed. Kari gasped and looked away but someone hit her over the head with the back of their palm and the tears spilled from her eyes.
Peter squinted into the sunlight, trying to make out the figure standing over him. All he could tell was that awful smirk and the curly black hair before he blacked out.
The apparent leader, walked off to let them take care of the kids. Walking into the library again.
Waving a hand in the direction of his henchmen, giving directions on how to transport the captives. Sweeping his hand down he picked up the rusted hook, inspecting before he put it in his pocket. Smiling he picked up the opened book and flipped through the pages as he followed the men on their walk toward the hideout.
This one was short too, i'm so sorry they get so short, but I hate to keep you all waiting on the chapters so I just write shorter ones and try to create more.
Yuki Asao: Okay i'm fine with constructive criticizingbut what you've been saying is just kinda stupid. If you think they're paragraphs then look at an essay, they write in paragraphs. I would'nt even call anything in Fan Fic paragraphs because paragraphs are like one subject but these are more like ideas and actions. And the only reason I have alot of reviews is because I try and I look mine over about a million times before I even think about posting them. Never fear if you keep up with trying you might get some more reveiws.If your going to criticize my work like that just don't say a thing (I would say shut up but I'm not that kind of person), don't go around blaming people because they have another life and can't write huge chapters. Stop being selfish, I can understand how you feel it isn't fair but don't blame that on me, maybe your story needs a better plot or maybe some fine tuning, just look at it some more and maybe you'll be able to tell why. But if you want someone to read your storyI'll read, just tell me your user.
Well, good bye all, and thanks for the reviews, keep it up!
Shannon (jeremy-sumpter-girl)