Yes Yes Yes!! Second chapter….actually its really not that exciting….but you know, I need some excitement in my dull little life. Anyway, please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I do, however, own the computer they have been typed on. Fuck. Actually I don't.

February 1st:

Hello, and good day to you Mr Diary. I, as you know, am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King Of Gondor. Hear that??? KING!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA! Ahem. Yes, well then, This is my first entry for February. Weathers okay. Kind of balmy. So yes. I don't have much to say. Is it obvious?

February 3rd:

Um…………….well I don't really have a terrible lot to say. My Potato sprouts have not blossomed out of my rock garden yet, so my life as King is a bore. Man I can't wait for those potatoes to grow. Its going to be so much fun!! Think, when some shoots come out of the ground, I can sit in the dirt and watch them! Oh Joy, joy joy! I think I will go out and water them.

February 4th:

Am about to go see what should be a highly amusing play. It is called "The Feebleshtick Bum Thief" It is about a delightful young cherub of a man named Ewe. R. Consti-Pated, who goes on a quest of some sort. Although I am not sure of what quite of quest it is, but I am sure I can relate, as have been on many a quest myself. Should be quite the performance.

February 5th:

I am very disgusted! The play was nothing but simple idiot-fodder full of sexual undertones for the amusement of the tiny minded. Honestly! How was I to know this, this "quest" was some complete tosspot searching for the missing backsides that belonged to people from a ridiculous town named Feebleshtick? Utter garbage! And the main characters name, "Ewe. R .Consti-Pated." I didn't know why everyone found that so funny until I found the reference to the Ewe, as in female sheep!

I think people should leave the farmyard fauna out of ridiculous stories such as these.

And what part of a last name is Consti-Pated? There must be some meaning I have not clicked onto yet. Although I have studied it thoroughly and I cannot find an hidden meaning of the sort. Highly disappointed. I think I will pick up my spirits by watering my potatoes.

February 9th :

Watered the potatoes this morning.

I have decided that I will sew myself a pencil case. Every one else on the Gondor Council has their own pencil case except me. After all it is ridiculous that I, the King of Gondor should not have one, as they are so useful.

I mentioned this to Arwen and she (Bless her) offered to make me one. But I believe I should start to do things for myself. Arwen disagrees and says that I have always done things for myself. But, Afterall, my heir Isildur was never very self reliant. Always getting his guards or that silly ring to do his work for him. When I voiced my concerns to Arwen, she said, "You are Isildurs heir, not Isildur himself." But to this I replied, "the same blood flows in my veins." I paused and leaned in close and whispered, "The same weakness." It was an intense moment. I then sat down at the sewing machine and sang the latest hit by Jamie Cullam as I worked.

February 10th:

I do not believe my hands will ever look the same again as I managed to sew them together on that cursed sewing machine.

February 15th:

Arwen finally talked me around to letting her unpicking the pink thread that is holding my hands together. It has been getting me some strange looks at council as well as the small side effect of being extremely painful. Although I have seen a few townsfolk walking around with their hands sewn together, as I am. Not many though.

Arwen finished my pencil case for me. I still have the pink threading along the edge, despite recent unpleasant encounters with it.

Watered my potatoes. Cant wait till they're grown.

February 18th:

My hands are cut and scarred possibly for life because of the maniac contraption.

February 22nd:

Arwen and I played a game of scrabble last night. Arwens first five words were, you, rude, unco-coordinated, ungrateful, bastard. She made these while making suggestive noises and looking at me in a meaningful way. I may be jumping to conclusions, but I think she was trying to get a point across. However, I don't know how she managed to make those words when there are only seven letters available at once.

You know what? I think she might be in a tiff with me.

Watered those splendid potatoes again.

February 24th:

I was RIGHT! I Aragorn, the decipherer of women was correct in how I thought Arwen was mad at me. She blew up at me today, saying I was rude and crude and how could I say such a thing.

Well, paint me green and call me Gumbi, but I didn't know what it was I said. So she answered, "You don't know???? What did you say when I tried on that red dress at the mall the other day and I asked,

"Does my buttocks look big in this?"

Well, how was I supposed to know you don't say "Yes, and any sexual arousal I once received from looking at you has shrivelled into oblivion?"

I watered the potatoes and gave them some fertilizer. Very Excited.

February 26th:

Potatoes doing well. Watered them.

Arwen is talking to me again. I knew she missed my manly aura.

February 28th:

Potatoes died. Arwen says I watered them too much.

Ahem, yes, alrighty then. Well, that was weird and lame but still please review … next chapter up sometime relatively soon … run while you can.