DISCLAIMER: The following work of Fan Fiction is based upon the Harry Potter Universe which is the work of J.K. Rowling. No infringement of either copyright or financial gain is intended by this work.
The Author owns nothing of the Known or Cannon Characters in this work. Except, perhaps, the idea for this story.
Précis : With the death of his Godfather, what else is there for him when all he has left is his anger against his own Heart's Nobility.
Chapter 3 – Know Thyself
Hermione's frantic screaming assaulted the sensitive ears of Remus Lupin. Promptly awake, He made a mad dash for the Third Floor where the girl has taken a room for herself.
Upon reaching the door however, the screaming have already subsided to sobs and hiccups, but, being the werewolf that he is, he could smell the fear in that room permeating through the oak door.
Before he entered though, he turned to his left and acknowledged the approaching form of Tonks, who he had heard climbing hurriedly from the ground floor.
"What happened?" Tonks asked him as she huffed from the effort of running full tilt up the stairs.
"I don't know yet, but I feel that it's not good…" He answered her back as he finally turned the knob and entered the dimly lit room.
******************
"It can't be true... it's just a dream...." Hermione continued her mantra. Repeating it over and over in a whisper on her lips, as well as in her heart and mind.
She convinced herself that it was just, her mind thinking the worse.
The worse... what more can be worse... when she thought that their lives have already been put to the shredder enough.
Oh... how she wished they were eleven again and on an evening boat ride towards the most magnificent sight she'd ever seen...
How much time has flown... how much has happened in the years since she had first arrived at Hogwarts.
How much has happened in the past twenty four hours...
Just twenty four hours ago she was spending time with her family...
Just twenty four hours ago all was fine and dandy... until the sudden arrival of a frantic Tonks and an even more paranoid Moody... whisking her and her family back to the relative safety of #12 Grimmauld Place.
Just twenty four hours ago, she had a boyfriend in Ron Weasely and a best girl friend in his sister Ginny...
...and now, just as she thought she'd reach the limit of what she could take... nightmares of Harry dying start plaguing her sleep.
The worst thing was, she felt guilty... with all that has happened in the past twenty four hours, and she forgot about Harry... she never before forgot about him, but she did, and now he too might be dead.
Tears again came to cascade down her pale cheeks, tears that wouldn't stop though she furiously tried to rub her eyes with the back of her hand and by the sleeve of her pajama's...
**************
Remus carefully opened the door and entered, with Tonks following quickly behind him.
"What's wrong Hermione?" He tentatively asked.
"Everything..." Hermione answered between sobs.
Tonks deftly moved onto the bed beside her and engulfed her in a comforting embrace, meanwhile muttering soothing nothings that meant everything will be alright.
"How can things be alright?..." She suddenly bursted angrily. "Nothings going to be alright...Ron and Mrs. Weasely dead, Mr. Weasely in a coma, the twins still recovering at St. Mungo's, Ginny missing... and Harry..." She trailed to silence as she mentioned Harry's name and suddenly threw herself back on the bed and surrendered again to the pain and cried.
Remus and Tonks just looked at each other in despair. Things have not been going well and though they tried, they could not see even a small glimmer of light or hope, except maybe in Harry.
The inner circle of the Order have been told of the Prophesy and plans were made to prepare Harry for his undeniable fate. But, first they needed to let the boy alone to grieve, for they also know that once he heard of the attacks and deaths of most of the Weasely's, Harry would break.
But, that was not to be, for as soon as that small tingle of the hope they felt came, it left...
It left with the sudden arrival of Mandungus Fletcher and his dire news...
Harry was dead, and with him... Hope.
*****************
Floating in the Abyss… Unknown… uncomprehending… but with consciousness an entity was re-born…
Whispers… chanting… singing? … strange….
'Where am I?' the consciousness asked the ether. Its question bouncing back and speeding out towards infinity, echoing eerily both loud and soft…
Falling… Floating… Bouncing?... Too Bright!
White... Suffocating… Stillness… Peace?
The consciousness tried to discern… to know what… how… where… he felt too… spreadout… like his shattered consciousness, it felt itself drift in an abyss of white.
It knew it must have purpose, if it was cognizant.
His body… what body? Felt too thin… like every molecule in its being lay floating around in the vast expanse of the ether… jolted and move about…
Jumbled and without form as it was whisked away by even the most gentle breeze…
'what am I?' the consciousness asked again.
But now something… someone answered back…
"The first question you should always ask is 'Who am I?'" the voice whispered… thundered… shouted… breathe…
The consciousness fell silent for a time… time?... forever… infinite… too short… too long… no time…
'Who am I?' The consciousness asked back. Like a child… trusting… curious… innocent…
'Who am I?' It asked again. But then the question came echoing back again as a million… billion… trillion… of its once material self, different all but all stemming, he instinctively knew… from him…, asked the same question…
'Who am I?' he heard it echo again as his selves… himself asked the question from the numerous paths that was his… their, life…
The answers came in torrent as voices of multitudes came back to him…
stupid… smart… arrogant… humble… coward… brave… crazy… sane… poor… rich… trusted… betrayed…
All this and many more clamored as descriptions of who he is tried to define him and it tumbled forth in the ether… drowning him in both mockery and praise…
but, in the end of it all… the consciousness still asked…
'Who am I?'
In an eternity that filled seconds, the Voice answered again.
"Do you wish a label to define you or you would rather define yourself?"
The consciousness was silent. Pondering what the Voice could mean he thought and as an instinct it sought out the answers, but none came.
"Who are you?" The Voice then asked, stern this time. Commanding the consciousness to search for the answer…
"Name thyself and to thyself be true." The Voice commanded again in a voice not unlike thunder, but the kindness remains the same.
"Who are you?" The Voice asked again. "Can you only hear what you think of yourself? Can you only hear what others say of you?" The Voice berated him and it made the consciousness feel foolish.
"Or… can you not hear your own heart shout out who you are?"
Something clicked and snapped within the entity as it searched for the answers within itself.
"Who am I?" The consciousness asked itself… The various lives it led… will lead… is living… answered it, with a force not of words, but deeds that his various selves had made… will make… is making.
And He was judged… Noble of Heart.
slowly… so painfully slow… the cloud that was the consciousness contracted… coalesced into a form. As it formed it reach out to what and who it learned to be various likeness of itself, though each lived different lives, they were all on the basic level one and the same as itself…
It was indiscernible at first, not unlike a clay figure of a man… but, as sure as time moves forwards, it too took a more finer shape until finally it achieved its goal in a burst of light…
Silver wings flecked with gold began to shiver involuntarily as it draped its naked form…
Long lashes, so perfectly formed began to flutter… the only movement on its deftly chiseled face.
A moment passed and its eyes suddenly opened, pools the shade of green unlike any other that hid depths as deep as the deepest sea… understanding, wisdom maybe…
Then it spoke, with a haunted, echoing voice of the many lives it has lived…
"I am the Avenger, the Protector and Guard… I am the Pheonix… I am the Blade of Light… I am… I am… me."
The Voice answered back with a trill of pride.
"Yes… yes, You are, Harry… and never let anybody else tell you otherwise…"
AN
Dear Reader,
You might notice that I'm using a different style of writing from my other fics. Well, I don't know why either, but I think I like this style… I'm able to put in a lot of info in just a few sentences.
Well, do you like it?
AN2
I'll be going on a month long vacation starting the sixth of May and I'll be back on the 29th of May. Hopefully I'll be able to do some writing, though I'm sure I won't be able to update until then.