Christmas at Castle Caelin.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem or any of the characters in this fic except Chris and Mr. Huggington
Important Note: despite what you might think after reading this story I am not gay, the story just kinda tuned out this way. I have a very attractive girl friend and we have been happily going out for 3 – 4 months.
Chapter 2: Deck the halls
Morning time. Finally I thought, the longest period of the day before I have to get to sleep again. Maybe if I'm lucky Lyn will lend me a horse so I can finally escape this hell hole, of coarse I'll tell her I'm going riding but then the problem arises of how I will get all of my stuff out with me. Hmm now this is a problem.
"Hey Chris!"
Maybe I could return for it at night
"Chris?"
But then again Sain wakes up at the slightest sound so that theories out the window.
"Oi Chris you even properly awake".
Ahah I could make a deal with one of the servants to bring it to me after the commotion has died down.
"CHRIS!"
"AH what's your problem Wil are you some sort of psycho or something?"
"N-no I was just going to ask for some help with the decorations". Wil replied timidly
"You do realize that if did not make my calculations perfect by remaining in thought and ignoring most noises we could all be dead a million times over."
"Yes I realize this but…"
"I mean don't you appreciate any thing I've done for you people."
"I'm really sorry Chris"
"That's ok now let's put up those decorations you were talking about".
Ah good to get that out of my system, that boy is more annoying than an angry drunk Australian farting at funerals. Now lets see what every body else is doing. Hmm lots of mistletoe around here I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Sure hope I don't run into Lyn boy that would be awkward.
"Hey Chris".
Uhoh I hope that's not Lyn or worse that weird maid with one eye. I began turning around with my eyes closed. Slowly opening them I saw. Oh thank you Mother Earth its only Sain.
"Yoo-hoo Chris do you know what you're standing under."
I sure hope this is some kind of sick joke.
"Yes Sain its mistletoe". I answered nervously
"Well you know what that means".
"Please tell me you're joking". I should run but he would probably enjoy the chase
"Come on Chris I know you've been hiding some feelings for me" Sain spoke seductively
"OH MY GOD YOU SICKO. Get away you ugly homosexual. I mean you go on about how you love the ladies but then you turn all gay on my ass. You probably fancy Kent as well! Just to let you know I found you about as erotic as two sweaty naked fat men with point nipples wrestling in a jelly and fish mongers."
Sain collapsed into a little ball on the floor and wept a sea of tears moaning on about how he thought that I of all people would understand
Feeling quite proud of myself for rejecting a man who thought he was number one with the ladies (and now the boys) I left Sain devastated and heartbroken and went to check on the rest of the castle.
"Ah" I breathed in a sigh of relief "that's hopefully all the weird crap for today out the way".
"Oi Chris"
Or maybe not. "Yes what is it now Kent?"
"I've just seen Sain and he's lying on the floor crushed. I don't know what you've done and too be perfectly honest I don't want to.
"Yeah well you see, what happened there was…"
"SILENCE CUR! I don't want any of your feeble excuses. There is only one way to settle this. A duel to uphold my friend honor."
Jeez talk about picking on the new guy. Uh-oh Kent looks angrier than Hitler stuck in a traffic jam. "Very well Kent I accept your challenge".
"Hey but you a tactician can you even fight?" he replied cockily.
"Oh so that's the way you see it is it?" I answered rather annoyed. "Just because I use my brain instead of my well-toned body you naturally assume I'm a weakling. Well I'll have you know I have quite a bit of skill with the sword".
Kent then gave me a rather evil look. You all know the one I mean if you've played Fire Emblem. It's the one enemies give you when you've left your best unit armed with a sword in a forest crawling with lance users.
Little did that ginger freak know that I have an S level in swords. As the unaware and overly-confident cavalier charged towards me I was in the midst of a dilemma. The problem was choosing an appropriate sword to clobber the crap out of Kent with. After some internal conflict I decided on either the Regal Blade or a lancereaver. Now I know what your thinking, silly fool chose the Regal Blade. But, that would bring up too many questions such as: how do I have the regal blade when I'm only on Lyn's quest? What is Lyn's quest? And whose quest shall I do next?( I think I will do Hectors so I can get Karla and Vaida's supports. If any one could give me a general idea of what they are about it would be much appreciated.). One swift stroke and the dazed rock dove of a man (Gutter bird (Pigeon) was lying on the floor. Guitar solo. Any way back to more pressing issues. How am I going to get out of this place before Kent and Sain join forces and… Shudder… homosexulate me. I sure hope they are not angry in the bed "cough" shakels "cough".
I decided to let out some steam buy practicing some archery. As I walked out to the archery range I saw Wil and made U-turn post haste.
"Hey Chris! It's me! Wil!"
Hmm maybe if I act like a sheep and use their motto in life "if I can't see you can't see me". He will just leave me alone.
"Chris cumin atcha'"
"AHHH SHIT devil boy you almost got my nose blasted off my face with that stupid arrow. That's the sort of joke that is funny for everyone except for me. If you're not careful I'm gunna shove this arrow where the sun don't shine."
"Not my face".
"You stupid urchin I'm talking about your big hairy hole. I'm talking down town. That's it I'm going to bed again".
"But its only 11am".
"Up yours William".
So what do you think, interesting huh? But we still haven't found out what Wil is going to get for Christmas have we? No we haven't. That was a rhetorical question. So anyway if I get good feedback you might just find out that Wil is getting a…
R & R would be much appreciated from people who don't know me directly whom I have forced into reviewing.