It was three days before Mystique let him out of the bed for more than just restroom breaks. He swore up and down that he felt fine on the second day, but she'd insisted. Even now as he moved slowly around the compound, Sabretooth trailed his every move.
"I know you're there, Vic, might as well come out."
Sabretooth stepped out of the shadows and scowled.
"I don't like being on Babysittin' duty anymore than you like bein babysat, but Mystique's orders. Think she expects you to off yourself."
Toad shrugged. He'd thought about it. He'd thought about it for the last three days. What else was there to think about? His life would be so fulfilling now that he was fucking infirm. Sometimes he wished Mystique didn't know him so well…other times he wished she understood how he felt without having to say it.
Toad hated television. It was all shows about bloody normals. And on the off chance you found something that might be decent, like documentary's or stuff on animals, you could always be reminded that the shows were made by normals too. He didn't' understand why it didn't bother the others as much. Mystique always told him to relax 'it's just TV,' but it wasn't just TV, it was his whole life.
He dropped down on the couch in front of it, flipping the channels for Animal Planet and zoning out. He didn't want to watch a special on Shark Week. He didn't want to see the freakin Crocodile Hunter make Australian's everywhere cringe in their knickers. Sabretooth took seat in the easy chair to the right of the couch, watching Mortimer with amusement.
"When Mystique comes back I'm going out, you want me to bring you back some beer?"
"Something stronger," Toad groused.
Sabretooth chuckled. Toad seemed to be no end of amusement to him when Toad was sick. When he was well they fought to no end, and Sabretooth delighted in trying to skewer the smaller man alive, but things were different now. Toad wondered how long this truce would last and if he was going to be treated like a china doll for the rest of his life.
"I've probably got some whiskey in the kitchen if you want that."
Toad rarely drank heavily. He had beer regularly, but when he was younger Magneto had found him developing somewhat of a bad habit in that arena and forbade him to continue. At that point in his life, Toad had done anything to escape the memories, numbing them every night with quantities of alcohol. He hadn't really been good and drunk in years. He figured he deserved it now.
Sabretooth tossed it to him, snagging the remote off his lap while he was distracted. He resumed his seat and flipped through the channels to rest on something with a bunch of scantily dressed normals running down a beach.
"Oh bugger, what is this?" Toad demanded, unscrewing the cap on the liquid and making a face at the TV.
"Shut up, Frog, watch and you might just learn something."
Toad watched for a minute taking a long swig from the bottle. A particularly busty blonde was running in slow motion out into the ocean to save a drowning man.
"Wot am I supposed to be learning, here?"
"How to appreciate the female form."
"I appreciate it just fine, I just don't like normals."
"Give it up, Frog-boy, Mystique is never gonna let you touch her."
Toad glowered, embarrassed that Sabretooth knew so much about his love life…or lack thereof. More like his fantasy life, since it was never gonna happen, but he lusted after her just the same. He took a longer draw off the bottle and sighed as a warm tingling sensation began to work its way over his body.
He relaxed on the couch, his always tightly coiled muscles unbinding. He kept drinking steadily as the show neared it's conclusion.
"I watched it. I still think it's bloody 'orrible. Even for a normals show."
Sabretooth snorted and rolled his eyes, glancing over.
"How ya feelin, kid?"
"Not bad," he breathed, his words already slurring a little. Sabretooth laughed. Toad folded his arms and tried to glare, but Sabretooth seemed to be swaying around.
All at once Toad was struck with a brilliant idea.
"'Ey, Hairy, the phone still uses a secure line, eh?"
"Yeah. Who do you want to call?"
"You'll see," He got up carefully, waggling his finger at Sabretooth in that 'naughty naughty wait and find out' fashion. Sabretooth had a feeling that Mystique wasn't going to be too pleased when she got home.
Toad returned a few seconds later with the phone and a scribbled number on a piece of paper. He dialed the number and waited, trying not to giggle. Sabretooth's eyebrows were raised almost off his head. What the hell could that kid be up to?
Suddenly Toad's face went straight and he forced himself to hold it together.
"Hello, may I please speak to …" a panicked look crossed his face before he remembered, "Ororo Monroe."
Sabretooth started laughing, slamming his fist down on the coffee table in his mirth. Toad made a face at him and waved at him to shut up, before returning to his call.
"Hello, Storm?" The voice on the other end must have given him some sort of affirmation because he continued with, "You stupid, egotistical, weather-bitch. So bloody self-righteous, well we'll see how bloomin self-righteous you are when I get a hold of you!"
He slammed down the receiver and began cracking up, until he looked up to see Mystique standing in the doorway, hand on hip and glaring him down. Toad went silent, doing his best to look contrite.
"Are you drunk?" she demanded mincing no words. Toad glanced at Sabretooth for help but the big man was still shaking with laughter and no use whatsoever.
"Urm, well…that is," Toad started to snicker, but kept trying to stop as Mystique's frown darkened.
"Aww, Mystie, c'mon, I was just messin around."
"So now the X-Men will know you're still alive," She crossed her arms over her chest glaring at him.
"Oh," He hadn't thought of that. He could probably blame that on the alcohol, but he could see that Mystique was none to pleased about that either.
"I'm getting Erik out in a week, and I'm telling him," she snarled as she stalked out of the room.
Toad's eyes got huge and he looked over at Sabretooth for ideas, but the big hairy git just kept laughing. Toad glowered.
"Well don't bust a gut on my account."
If anything, it made him laugh harder.
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