A/N: First off, thank you very, very much to FlairVerona, Blue Rose Of The Forgotten, justanormalgirl357, summerxkisses2, and silktophat for their wonderful reviews. YOU GUYS ROCK! (By the way, is it just me, or does anyone else get this like, weird high from getting good reviews?) Quick FYI: The title of the story was supposed to be "Plan…What Number Are We On Now," But apparently you can't put the little dots in (what are those things called, anyway?) justanormalgirl357- No shirtless Ron in this chappie:'( but I promise he'll show up again soon. ;) Okay. I know. Shut up and tell the damn story already…

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would not be using a crappy computer that keeps freezing in the middle of typing my English essay. Grrr….

September 5, 1:32 PM Care Of Magical Creatures

Ron asked someone to the ball. I think I shall kill that someone now…As you can probably guess, it wasn't me. It was, in fact, Hannah Abbot. I HATE THAT BITCHY, SLUTTY,SKANKY SLUT! SHE SHOULD DIEDIEDIEIDIEIDIE! And she's soooo ugly too. I just don't get it. Her hair is straight and brown, but then it's got these awful pinstripes of dirty blonde in it. She's disgustingly skinny, and she has this annoyingly clear complexion. She always giggles irritatingly, and she has this weird little lisp, a very slight one. SO NOW YOU SEE WHY SHE SHOULD DIE!

And anyway, he doesn't even know her. Ginny says that he only asked her because he's afraid that I'll reject him. I don't believe it. I mean, come on! Who does she think she's kidding? It's painfully obvious that Ron likes me as a friend and nothing more than a friend. And who can trust her judgement anyway? She's going with (insert shudder here) Malfoy. (insert scream here) He asked her when they were on prefect duties together last night. And she said yes! Ron doesn't know yet, but he'll probably blow a fuse when he finds out. I am going to dream of Ron for a bit I think, completely out of misery.

I have only gotten one really good look at him without a shirt on, however, believe me, I can commit anything relating Ron to memory very fast. He has the best abs ever, I swear. They're very firm but, not overdone or anything, you know? And I know this because I've been pressed up against them…He must have incredibly soft lips… Just thinking about him makes me want to run up and snog him senseless. But I cant. Because of stupid, slut-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later

RON WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AND HE SAW WHAT I WROTE ABOUT HIM!

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I'm hiding in the girl's loo now, but Myrtle's getting on my nerves. I can't take her much longer. Then I'll have to go out and face Ron and Harry. NONONONONONONONONO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! NONONONONONO! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID HERMIONE! NOW THE (UP UNTIL ABUT 10 MINUTES AGO) SECRET OBJECT OF MY AFFECTIONS KNOWS THAT I GO AROUND FANTASIZING ABOUT HIS ABS! Which are very nice and all, BUT STILL! IV'E BEEN THROUGH DEMENTORS, KAPPAS, GRINDYLOWS, MERPEOPLE, WEREWOLVES, AND A MILLLION OTHER FRIGHTENING CREATURES, BUT I CANNOT TALE THIS. MAYBE IF I STICK MY HEAD IN THE TOILET I CAN DROWNMYSELF AND MYRTLE WILL LET ME SHARE HER TOILET…okay, scratch that. Someone seems to have left a little erm, present for me in the loo. That does it. I AM HERMIONE JANE GRANGER AND I AM A PROUD GRYFFINDOR! THIS WILL NOT DO! I CANNOT GO AROUND HIDING IN BATHROOMS! IT'S TIME TO SUMMON UP EVERY OUNCE OF GRYFFINDOR COURAGE I OWN AND GET OUT OF HERE….and once I do, I'll run like hell for my dorm, where no boys will ever set foot.

Love, Hermione

A/N: Short chappie, I know, sorry, but I promise the next one should be extra long. Ron in boxers delivered to the door of reviewers. Lol. In the words of my friend Lydia: "Flames shall be used to toast marshmallows." Mmmmmmm….marshmallows…almost as good as Ron…ISAIDALMOST!