Scene 3: "Interesting mediation techniques"

(Suze is sitting in the administrative office of her new school with her mom, staring up at a giant crucifix hanging behind the secretary's desk, slightly horrified. A boy (ADAM) sitting across from her on a couch notices what she's looking at)

ADAM: He's supposed to weep tears of blood of any girl ever graduates from here a virgin.

(Suze lets out a little snort of laughter)

SECRETARY (sighs): Oh, Adam.

ADAM (exagerrated serious voice): It's true. It happened just last year. My sister. (Stage whisper) She's adopted.

(Suze laughs again. A second later a priest comes in through the side doors)

PRIEST: Mrs. Ackerman, what a pleasure to see you again. And this must be Susannah Simon. Come in, won't you? (Turns to Adam) Oh no, Mr. McTavish. Not on the first day of a brand-new semester.

ADAM: What can I say, Father Dom? The broad hates me.

FATHER DOMINIC: Kindly do not refer to Sister Ernestine as a broad, Mr. McTavish. I will see to you in a moment, after I've spoken to these ladies.

ADAM: No problem, padre. (Grins at Suze)

(Suze, her mom, and Father Dominic go inside his office. Cut to Father Dominic just finishing his speech on the school and school rules)

FATHER DOMINIC: Well, I think that about covers of all of it. Do either of you have any questions? No? Fine then. (Stands up) I'll say goodbye to you, Mrs. Ackerman, and walk Susannah to her first class. Susannah?

(Father Dom walks Suze across the courtyard and the school buildings, adobe structures connected by breezeways, the statue of Junipero Serra with an assembly of Native American women kneeling at his feet, and finally to the lockers.)

FATHER DOMINIC: Here we are. Yours is...hmm, let me think. Oh yes, 273.

(Suze trails down the row of lockers. 268, 269, 270, 271, 272...)

(When she reaches locker 273, Suze stops. There's a ghost standing right in front of the locker, a pretty teenage girl with long blonde hair and wearing a very nasty expression on her face (HEATHER))

HEATHER: What are you looking at? (Looks over Suze's shoulder and speaks to Father Dom, standing behind Suze) This is who they let in to take my place? I am so sure.

(Suze turns around and gaps at Father Dominic. He looks down at Suze curiously)

FATHER DOMINIC: Ah. I thought so.

(Suze looks from Father Dom, to Heather, then back to Father Dom.)

SUZE: You can see her?

FATHER DOMINIC (nods): Yes. I suspected when I first heard your mother speak about you–and your...problems at your old school–that you might be one of us, Susannah. But I couldn't be sure, of course, so I didn't say anything. Although the name Simon, I'm sure you're aware, is from the Hebrew word meaning "intent listener", which, as a fellow mediator, you of course would be–

SUZE: So that's why there aren't any Indian spirits around here! You took care of them. Jesus, I was wondering what happened to them all. I expected to find hundreds–

FATHER DOMINIC: Well, there weren't hundreds, exactly, but when I first arrived there were quite a few. But it was nothing, really. I was only doing my duty, after all, making use of the heavenly gift I received from God.

SUZE: Oh. Is that who's responsible for it?

FATHER DOMINIC: But of course ours is a gift from God. Where else do you think it could come from?

SUZE: I dunno. I've always kind of wanted to have a word with the guy in charge, you know? Because, given a choice, I'd much rather have not been blessed with this paticular gift.

FATHER DOMINIC: But why ever not, Susannah?

SUZE: All it does is get me into trouble. Do you have any idea how many hours I've spent in psychiatrists' offices? My mom's convinced I'm a complete schizo.

HEATHER (sarcastically): Excuse me for interrupting. But would you mind telling me what's going on around here? Who is this bitch?

SUZE: Hey, this guy's a priest, you know.

HEATHER: Uh, no duh he's a priest. He's only been trying to get rid of me all week.

(Suze looks at Father Dom. He looks sheepish.)

FATHER DOMINIC: Well, you see, Heather's being a bit obstinate–

HEATHER: If you think that I'm just going to stand back and let you assign my locker to this bitch–

SUZE: Call me a bitch one more time, missy, and I'll make sure you spend the rest of eternity inside this locker of yours.

HEATHER: Biiiiiitch.

(Suze punches Heather in the face hard, sending Heather flying into a row of lockers and leaving quite a large dent in Suze's. Heather crashes to the floor, and with a whimper, gets up and runs down the corridor)

SUZE: Hm. Chicken. (Lightly blows on her knuckles) So, what were you saying, Father?

FATHER DOMINIC (sarcastically): Interesting mediation techniques they're teaching out east these days.

SUZE: Hey. Nobody calls me names and gets away with it, and I don't care how tortured she was in her past life.

FATHER DOMINIC: I think there are some things we need to discuss, you and I.

(Suddenly the door to the right of Suze and Father Dom opens, and Mr. Walden, a large teacher, looks out into the breezeway, checking to see what made the loud noise)

MR. WALDEN: Everything all right, Dom?

FATHER DOMINIC: Yes, everything's fine. Just fine. And look what I've brought you. (Suze goes over and stands next to him) Your newest student, Susannah Simon. Susannah, this is your home room teacher, Mr. Walden.

MR. WALDEN: Nice to have you with us, Miss Simon. Thanks, Dom, for bringing her over.

FATHER DOMINIC: Not a problem. We were just having a bit of a problem with her locker. You probably heard it, sorry to disturb you. We'll have the custodian look into it. Susannah, I expect you back at my office at, um, three, to fill out the rest of those forms.

SUZE (smiling innocently): Oh, no can do, Father. My ride leaves at three.

FATHER DOMINIC: Then I'll send you a pass. Expect one around two.

SUZE (waggling her fingers goodbye): Okay then. Buh-bye.

(Turns around to face her new classmates, who are all staring at her)

MR. WALDEN: Class, this is Susannah Simon, our newest edition to the class. She's transferred here from New York City.

(Pause. Everyone stares at Suze)

MR. WALDEN: Er, Susannah, you can take a seat now.

(Suze looks around, considering seating options. One empty seat is next to a pretty girl with curly blonde hair. The other empty seat is next to an albino girl (CEECEE). Suze takes the seat next to the albino)

(A girl (DEBBIE) a few seats away snickers)

DEBBIE: God, seat by the freak, why don't you.

SUZE (turning in her chair to face her): Excuse me, do you have Tourette's?

DEBBIE: What?

SUZE: Tourette's Syndrome. It's a neurological disorder that causes people to say things they don't really mean. Do you have it?

DEBBIE (starting to turn red): Um...no.

SUZE: Oh. So then you were purposely being rude.

DEBBIE: I wasn't calling you a freak.

SUZE: I'm aware of that. That's why I'm only going to break one of your fingers after school, instead of all of them.

(Debbie blushes very furiously and turned around in her seat. Raising her eyebrows, Suze does the same. The class starts buzzing, and then the bell rings, and the students pick up their bags)