He's mine, mine, I tell you! Dear reader, this lowly authoress obliged a moment of denial... breathe...breathe...alas...I do not own Kenshin, be he rurouni, Battousai, or some mix thereof. I still own Kenshin the Betta fish. Yay.

Katana no Saya

"There he is! It must be him!" Five men emerge from the shadows. Shimatta! They wear haori jackets, light blue with triangles at the sleeves—Shinsengumi. Two carry lanterns, the others grasp their swords. Kuso, why now of all nights? I could escape them easily if I were alone…

"Go back the way we came." She gasps softly as I reach out my arm to block her way. Kuso! My heartbeat thrums in my chest, pounding out a rhythm to the coming battle. She shouldn't be here! I have to finish this quickly…it may already be too late…

And so the macabre dance begins, as it has many times before…

But her hand stops mine from reaching for my sword. I look back. Her face is sad and pleading. "A drawn sword needs a good sheath."

"What are you talking about?" I allow my impatience to show in my voice, and return my gaze to the approaching threat.

"I want to see." Her voice is like that tanto she carries: small, but sharp with determined anger. "I want to see you do your work. I want to see it with my own eyes." For the tiniest fraction of a second, I catch my breath. Where did that come from? Why would she want to see it again? The rain of blood…I stop myself from thinking about that night. Now is not the time.

The men ahead ready their swords in hira-tsuki stance. There is no time…Katsura-san…I must get to Ikeda-ya!

All I can do is push her back, out of the way of the first man charging towards us. He is easy to read—a simple overhand blow towards my neck and shoulder. This is the time in battle when emotion and conscious thought ceases. There is only the faded black and white of night shadows, kill or be killed. Swift battou-jutsu to block his attack, push him back, sweep back to slash his unprotected chest before he can react. The man grimaces and rolls across the ground before rising to his feet.

"Chain vests." I voice the realization. This is going to take too long. Kami let them be wise… "You're in my way! Back down!"

Four of them spread out to block the alley, the other stands behind.

"I am Shigesuke Heima trained in the technique of Hokushin Itto-Ryu." A fool he is to challenge an unknown opponent. They should have run away. They should have… No time to mislead them down blind alleys…not with Tomoe here…

"I don't care!" Desperate anger clouds my voice as I dive forward. I have no time for fools. There is only one way to go, and that is through them.

He has some skill…again he manages to block. I push him back against the wall. To his right the second raises his sword to strike, his battle cry stifled by my sword through his collarbone. The third looks over with a resigned expression—one stroke travels right through his feeble block into his chin, snapping his sword in two. Pivot to slash the throat of the man behind, continue forward to slash and stab the charging first man. The last backs against the wall in fear…

With each movement, I can feel eyes on me—her eyes, watching in horrified awe.

I pull my sword free from the wall and the last man's neck. His blood runs down the silver blade to the hilt, coating my hands.

I look at her, across the strewn bodies. The alley is silent save for our harsh breathing. She stares at me, fear in her eyes, teeth clenched, trying to bite down her loathing. I think she's afraid but too paralyzed to run. She knows I could cut her down in an instant.

She just saw me kill five men. I nod to her slowly, making a faint attempt at reassurance. I will not kill you, ever.

She almost nods back, inching slowly toward me, but cringes, staring, when her tabi come close to landing in a pool of blood. I stare back. That she should witness such a thing—twice—that she should have to know me…it is another wrong in this world. I suddenly feel invisible hands gripping my chest—shame and regret—I thought I had stopped feeling those emotions... But now I have a witness.

I think she saw it…I think she saw that moment of shame on my face before I circled around the alley to join her. It makes me angry. I'm a murderer, that's all I am. She's still standing there, paralyzed, and I pull her hand roughly down the adjoining alley.—I shouldn't be so rough with her!

We hurry along in the darkness… I have to pull her along. She is as silent and graceful as any swordsman, but for the soft clacking of her geta. And the strong smell of white plum, which penetrates even the copper tang of blood that follows me everywhere.

Together, we race towards the main thoroughfare. Around the corner is the inn… I hope Katsura-san is alive! She is now running beside me. Instinctively, my hand goes out, stopping her in her tracks just before we reach the street.

Peering around the corner, I recognize the Captains of the first and third troops of Shinsengumi, surrounded by their men. Between them lays the body of a dead comrade. It is lost… I am too late… And at that moment, there is only me and those two men, while the dead Ishin soldier becomes Katsura-san. I will kill them. It is all I can do…mete out divine justice…retribution upon the Bakufu. Flames rise up in the distance; cries of battle… There are so many of them… I must kill…

But as I tense, ready to be consumed by flames, two soft hands block the hilt of my sword, holding it from being drawn. I turn, glaring in rage. Who tries to prevent my revenge?

She is crouched on the ground next to me. Her pale skin seems to glow in the darkness, white hands against the dark saya. She shakes her head breathlessly as her lips move in a silent plea. And slowly I realize the fear in her eyes then is of me dying.

I am so selfish… What would happen to her, out here, if I died? It is too late anyway.

I nod, releasing my hand from hers, from the grip of my sword. I will not fight now. There is nothing I can do.

A younger troop member approaches the captains. "Katsura is not here; Miyabe has committed hara-kiri in the rear vestibule."

"I see." It is Saitou, the third captain, who answers.

I swallow my surprise. We are not finished… Katsura-san is probably in hiding… Miyabe-san died honorably before he could be captured and interrogated… There is still hope….

Reflexively I look over at Tomoe. If I had charged into the fighting just now…Her face is restrained again, a careful mask that reveals no emotion. The exception is her eyes, dark brown, which hold a faint sadness whenever I look at her. She is such a mystery, even after all this time. I stare at her, transfixed by the sudden pity I see gleaming there now. She grasps my hand and pulls me forward…

Under cover of shadows, we rush past the Shinsengumi. As I allow her to lead the way towards the inn, the faces of tonight's victims flash before my sight like a waking dream. I remember her words earlier tonight, when the sake had tasted good for the first time in a year, and answer again silently, the way I should have: No Tomoe-san, killing does not make me happy…

A moment of hateful self-loathing rises in my mouth, and I realize that she is my conscience.