The Knighting Ceremony

by Athelas

Summary: On the day of Anakin's Knighting Ceremony, Obi-Wan suddenly feels that everything might turn out wrong. His doubts are reinforced by hints of the Force. But is it too late to turn back?
This story will be mainly about Obi-Wan, because he is just the most interesting character in Star Wars. For me, anyway… :-)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Drama/Angst

Disclaimer: They belong to George. Not me. Unfortunately.

Status: Completely written. One chapter posted, three more to go

A/N; Well, first, I am a non-native English speaker and therefore you will certainly find some mistakes in my stories. I hope they are not too prominent but at the moment, I am my own beta-reader…
Second, I needed this story to be written because I just could not accept that Obi-Wan never had any doubts or warnings about Anakin's future. And I thought that there are not enough stories about this particular Knighting Ceremony.
Third, I normally write in the Lord of the Rings genre but at the moment I am not getting very far there. sigh So if anyone of my former LotR-FF readers read this writing I hope they do not get too angry with me.


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For most of the Masters, Knights, Padawans and Initiates of the Jedi Temple it was a day like any other. The artificial lights slowly grew brighter and everywhere in the gigantic building people awoke and got up, some more reluctantly than others. Daily life took its usual course.

Not so for Anakin Skywalker. And certainly not so for Obi-Wan Kenobi. The long expected day of the Knighting Ceremony had arrived. Anakin had only just successfully returned from the trials the day before and ere the day would set again on Coruscant he would be an official, full member of the Jedi Order. It was expected to be a special and joyous day for the Knight-to-be but often the harder part lay with the Master.

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Heat. Dust. Lava. Burns. Debris. 'I hate you!'

Obi-Wan woke with a start, sweat trailing down his face. Breathing hard, he pushed back the sleeves of his nightshirt to reassure himself that he had dreamed the blistering burns upon his arms. It had been so real, he could still feel the pain. And the desperation, although he knew it had not been his own.

He shook his head a few times and tried to get the pictures of his dream out of his head, but they remained stuck in his mind. Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes, hard, but his pulse and his breathing were still at high speed. He was afraid of this dream, of the feelings and the possible meaning of it, so much that it came close to panic.

'It is only a dream,' he told himself, again and again. 'It was only a dream…'

But it had been too real. Could it be a warning? A vision? Or simply a possibility of the future? And there was another question that needed an answer: Why now?

Anakin's Knighting Ceremony. Today.

Oddly enough, this realisation helped him to calm down, to think of other things. He would not think of this… dream again. Not today.

He slowly closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. The fear did not leave him, but it retreated to the back of his mind. Good. Were there no typical feelings, a Jedi Master should feel in the morning of his Padawan's Knighting Ceremony?

Pride?

Even though he had only meant to keep his mind off the memories of the night, it became an honest question to consider. Had he ever felt proud when it came to his teaching methods or to his Padawan?

Of course he felt proud about what his apprentice had managed to accomplish, Anakin had been an apt and eager student, always trying to help others. When Obi-Wan thought back to the small boy they had picked up on Tatooine he felt warm pride surge through him. But there was no pride in his teachings. Too many things had gone wrong, there had been too many mistakes in Anakin's trainings. All of them had been his own faults, so the pride in his apprentice had a bitter side effect.

What a Knight would have Anakin turned out to be if Qui-Gon had trained him?

This question always lingered in the back of Obi-Wan's head, for years now. Without doubt, he felt admiration and sometimes awe towards his student. Anakin had grown, in many different ways. Grown into an excellent swordsman, grown into an apt field commander, grown into a responsible and intelligent human being and most certainly he had grown into a tall young man.

A first, tentative smile found its way on Obi-Wans lips and chased the lingering uneasiness of the dream even more in the background. Yes, Anakin had long ago surpassed his Master's height. It was somehow bound to his fate always to work with people that were so much taller than himself, even if Obi-Wan was not of small built. Qui-Gon, Mace Windu and now Anakin. It had been acceptable to be lectured by a tall Master, but it looked utterly ridiculous to try and lecture a Padawan who stood a head taller than himself.

Grinning now, Obi-Wan shook his head. It was his sheer luck that Master Yoda still lived. There was at least one person he could look down on.

His spirits a bit lifted, the Jedi Master heaved himself out of bed. He hit the panel at the wall and the door to the common room of their shared Master-Padawan apartment swished open. The smile of happy memories disappeared immediately as he saw the neatly packed boxes of Anakin's belongings beside the couch. For once the common room looked tidy, without his apprentice's mechanic tools, holo-vids and clothes spread all over the place. It was a strange sight. Obi-Wan had fought for ages with his Padawan to at least keep the common room tidy – in vain of course – and now that Anakin's stuff was packed away the room looked oddly empty and… dead.

Like a hammer fall came the sudden realisation: He would live alone from now on. Obi-Wan could not remember to have ever lived alone. First, he had stayed in the Crèche and later in the Initiate's wing. In both places, there had lived a lot of age mates with him. Then he had shared an apartment with Qui-Gon and now with Anakin.

Relief?

Obi-Wan should have felt relieved to finally be on his own but no such feelings filled his heart. In the beginning of his Master-Padawan relationship with Anakin he had often longed for more freedom and privacy. All the other newly minted Knights experienced a time of fewer restrictions and more personal free time while he had been occupied with Anakin's apprenticeship. But now, Obi-Wan could not bring himself to feel relief.

The Jedi Master halted his steps in front of Anakin's closed door and listened intently. He could hear the soft snoring of his Padawan through the door and he felt a small smile tug at his lips. Not long now and his peacefully sleeping Anakin would wake up and cease to be his apprentice.

Sadness?

Even sadness would not truly reach his heart. His head told him too many times that this was the usual course of a Jedi and he was a human being led by his head and not by his heart. He could not let the sadness fill his mind, he would only spoil Anakin's big day.

Silently stepping away from the door, Obi-Wan made his way to the refresher. He shed his clothes and looked into the mirror. His long ginger hair had long ago grown past his shoulders and some wayward strands fell into his view. He moved one hand through his mane and decided to cut his hair. Anakin had always complained that his hair was too long and badly in need of a cut but Obi-Wan had never listened to his apprentice. He had liked them long. Not so anymore. He realised only now that he looked a lot like Qui-Gon with his hair this long. Had he unconsciously tried to imitate his late Master?

Doubt?

Yes, certainly. Doubt had been his ever-present companion throughout so many years that he had a hard time to even detect the feeling in himself. Doubt seemed to be anchored in his being, almost as if it was a character trait. With self-loathing he remembered the time in which he had been called "Oafy-Wan". Or the day when he had been trapped behind the energy fields and watched Qui-Gon die. Whatever he had done, it always seemed to be the wrong thing.

Even in his time as Qui-Gon's apprentice he had felt doubt, most often directed against himself, but sometimes also against his Master. Being resolved to take a slave boy as his new Padawan and to discharge of his current apprentice, for example, had evoked some feelings of doubt directed against Qui-Gon…

Obi-Wan shook his head to get rid of the unwanted and cynical thoughts. He looked away from his reflection with a tiny bit of disgust.

But still, the nagging feeling of doubt that he had made some grave mistakes in Anakin's education still lingered. Sometimes, his Padawan seemed not yet ready to face the world on his own and sometimes Obi-Wan wished for more time to prepare him.

The Jedi-Master pulled himself away from the sink and stepped into the shower cabin. Warm water run over his head and in his eyes and he closed them gladly. There is no emotion… there is peace… Before the carousel of his thoughts could start again, Obi-Wan quickly set the water on very cold. He hissed as the icy water hit him but it helped.

After a while, Obi-Wan stepped out of the shower and as he dried himself he heard the clattering of dishes from the kitchen. Dressing quickly the Jedi Master joined his Padawan in the kitchen.

Anakin smiled when Obi-Wan entered.

"Good morning, Master."

Obi-Wan smiled back.

"Good morning to you, too, my young Padawan."

"Savour the sound of these words a few more times, Master, you won't get to use them very often anymore."

Even though Obi-Wan felt the nervousness and the slight uncertainty behind the light banter, he grinned even broader.

"Of course I will savour the words, my very young apprentice. As it seems you will be my first and last student. I wouldn't risk to have another impudent Padawan like you and to be appointed to the nerve-wracking and perilous task of guiding him through puberty. No, thank you."

A look of feigned indignity crossed Anakin's face and he snorted huffily.

"I don't believe it! My dearly respected Master is making fun of me on the very day of my Knighting Ceremony. Any other Master would have uttered words of pride and support."

Obi-Wan still smiled. He felt the earlier reeling feelings of emptiness and uncertainty retreat to the back of his mind and he was just glad to be in Anakin's company.

"But all the other Masters are much older and more boring than I am. They would have lost their patience a long way back."

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Well, that was the first chapter. A bit short, I know, but the others will be longer. The next chapter will be about the Knighting Ceremony itself… I hope you will read that one as well!

Criticism is always appreciated, I would love to hear what you think.