By animeninjaNIPPON

Gaz didn't care. Professor Membrane didn't care. No one at skool cared – not even Zim (although he didn't exactly grasp the concept, he clearly wasn't interested in Dib's findings). "Well, they probably just think it's one of my paranormal things," Dib mused, "and in a way, I guess it is… Hey, the Swollen Eyeball Network should know something about this!" He went online and, ignoring the "Win Free Ringtones" pop-up ads, logged on to the S.E.N.

For some unexplainable reason, Dib was not taken to his usual network, but instead to a black-rimmed screen cut tight to two Irkens munching on snacks and brainfreezies. Their eyes widened when they noticed the human staring at them through the other end of the connection.

"You… You're Zim's leaders!" Dib stammered.

"Hey, aren't you that Earth creature that Zim complains about?" Purple asked.

"He tells you things about me?"

"No, but this one time we heard him muttering something about it when his fake SIR accidentally pushed the communicator button on his computer," Red explained.

Zim's leaders! He was talking to Zim's leaders! Oh, so many questions rushed through his brain… Unfortunately, the first to burst forth from Dib's mouth was –

"Are you aware that someone is writing stories that involve me falling in love with one of your soldiers?"

"Huh?" Red was baffled.

"What is 'love'?" Purple inquired, equally confused.

Dib gave a brief explanation of "love" between two people, careful not to give out any details that might incriminate the human race. "And those writers think that I should be with Zim."

At this, the Tallest burst out laughing, rolling around in their seats.

"And I thought ZIM was two crazy fries short of a combo meal," Red cackled.

"Huh?" Dib eyed the computer screen. He was starting to think the whole universe had gone utterly mad.

"Eh, you can have him." Purple took a long, refreshing sip from his freezy.

"But I don't WANT him!"

"Can't say I blame you," Red sighed.

"Mmm-hmm." Purple still sipped his brainfreezy.

"Although, I wouldn't put it past Zim to do something like that…"

"Hey, that'd be kinda funny to see!"

They both doubled over with laughter again, and Dib's computer screen went black.

About two minutes later, Dib managed to get too the real S.E.N.

"Agent Mothman, have you found anything?" Agent Darkbootie asked.

"Agent Darkbootie! I…" Once again, Dib explained his "dilemma."

"You contacted the Swollen Eyeball Network for THIS?"

"Well, it seems like a mystery of the paranormal to me…"

"First the waffles, now this! Don't contact us again until you're ready to take paranormal investigation seriously!" With that, Darkbootie cut the connection.

Dib sat there, staring blankly at his computer screen, until a crash and a flash of light drew his distraction to his bedroom window.

Without the slightest hesitation, he grabbed his fanfic-stuffed backpack and ran outside to investigate.

End of part five

Well, I was going to end it at five chapters, but I decided to rewrite part five to add in a possibility for a part six – I credit the idea of Tak's ship to Silver Dragon 2488. If anyone has any other ideas for whom else Dib should complain to (within the IZ fandom), go ahead and leave 'em in your reviews. I probably won't do Jhonen, though.

animeninjaNIPPON