By animeninjaNIPPON

Dib raced outside to find Tak's spaceship dancing around with inner turmoil. "PERSONALITY – ABORTED!" it cried out in Dib's voice, gradually warping higher until it reached Tak's octave. "Get out of my way, human boy!"

"Oh no," Dib sighed. "As if those fan stories weren't bad enough…"

"What are you talking about?" Tak's ship demanded.

Dib brightened. "You really want to know?"

"No." Dib frowned. "But if it's a threat to my mission, I have to know about it!"

"Well…" Dib once again began his spiel on the romance stories involving him and Zim. "I know you know what 'love' is, Tak…or Tak's ship…or whoever you are."

"Hmm…you and Zim…I can see that."

"WHAT?" Dib shrieked. "How is that possible?"

"Simple," the ship explained. "Zim is a stupid Irken outcast with nowhere to go. You are a stupid human outcast with no friends."

"I DO have friends!"

"Your research organization doesn't count."

"You know about the Swollen Eyeball Network?"

"I do now." Tak's ship was growing impatient. "Now let me finish – as I was saying, you two can relate to each other, complement each other's missing needs…and let's face it – Zim's the only one in the vicinity who cares about your determination to expose him."

"Well, duh…" Dib rolled his eyes. "And you actually believe this?"

"No. But if you and Zim get together, it will be much easier for me to destroy you both!" Maniacal laughter ensued, and her voice gradually lowered until it sounded like Dib's.

"Hey…are you me again?" Dib asked.

"Huh?" the ship replied. "Yeah, I guess."

"Then you've got to agree with me! What do you think of me and Zim as an item?"

"You like Zim?"

"NO!" Dib realized that he had phrased his question entirely wrong.

The ship ignored him. "Does this mean…I like Zim?"

"You're not me!" Dib waved his arms frantically.

"Well, I never really seemed to like anyone from Earth…and Tak is way out of my league…"

"I don't like Tak, either! In fact, I – "

"…And he does know me better than anyone else…"

"That's because we're enemies!"

"RIVALS MAKE THE BEST LOVERS! You're right, Dib-clone – Zim and I DO make a good couple!"

"NOOOO!" Dib grabbed the sides of his debatably large head in frustration. "That does it!" he screamed, running aimlessly in the general direction of his house. "The whole universe is against me!"

End of part six