The Future of Go: Chapter Four

by Ami-chan

I was enjoying myself immensely as far as Go was concerned. Each new game was a new adventure, a new experience and it was even better now that I had made a friend in Inoue-san. The two of us were considered the strongest Insei and so I ended up playing with him quite often – he told me he was glad I was there, because playing me was making him stronger, too. I wondered if the improvements he was making would be enough to allow him to pass the pro test when it was time. I hoped so, even as I hoped to see Hikaru and Akira-san someday soon on something other than the tv; in my heart I especially wanted to apologize to Hikaru for interfering so much in his life, though he from what I've seen he appears to be satisfied with how things turned out for him.

According to the media coverage on the pro Go players themselves, Hikaru and Akira had been involved in a relationship for some time. They had to speculate at how long that relationship had been going on and my best guess was no better than theirs – it was sometime within the last four-ish years. Backwhen I was still with Hikaru there had only been minor hints of maybe, possibly becoming something more between them. They looked happy together nowand, if the fans were any indication, they were happy for them, too. If anything, when the press latched onto the story, it made them andGo infinitely more popular and soon a fangirl following had been created. What did they crave? Pictures of the young pro coupletogether, holding hands, kissing, or any other display of affection. While Akira seemed reluctant to pose for pictures like that, it was obvious that Hikaru thought otherwise, though he often chose not to give the media more fodder, for Akira's sake.

A soft gasp recalled me back to the preschool room I was currently sitting in and I found Akito, who I had quickly pegged as a troublemaker, tormenting a little girl. He had a doll in one hand that was obviously not his and was holding it above the girl's head while she tried her hardest to get it back. Both of the senseis were busy so I slid out of my chair and toward the two of them.

Akito didn't like me and never had. I think it had something to do with the fact he couldn't do anything to bother me. I glanced at the girl who had tears in her eyes in her obvious frustration and she looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. "Give her the doll back." I was glared at. "You should be nicer to people and then they'll want to play with you. Taking away her doll isn't going to make her like you." Reasoning, apparently, was not in his grasp of understanding. He pushed me, but I had braced myself enough so that I didn't fall. My eyes narrowed sharply at him in a look I had reserved mostly for opponents in Go, a look that had frightened some of the Insei because it said I had no intention of losing. And I didn't.

The boy's jaw set and he threw down the doll, growling, "Take the stupid thing. I didn't want it anyway." He stalked off, perhaps in search of another victim as I retrieved the doll from the floor and straightened its outfit before handing it back to the girl.

"Here you go, Hayashi-san." I stumbled a bit when she launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and squeezing me until I thought I might pop.

"Thank you, Shin-chan!" she exclaimed, even as she was brushing tears from her face. "Call me Sou-chan."

Her wide smile was contagious and I found myself smiling back at her. "Souko-san," I replied politely, "You are very welcome."

Souko bit her lip thoughtfully before taking my hand in hers. "Wanna play with us?" She gestured to the group of girls that had taken up residence in one corner, near what appeared to be a doll house of some sort. Intrigued, I agreed. Was this any different from playing Go with ladies? Well, other than the fact that they were much younger and we weren't playing Go… okay, so it was nothing alike, but it seemed rude to refuse.

I was quickly integrated into the group of girls after heroically saving Souko's doll. In addition to Souko there was Suka-chan (I think her name was actually something else that they had shortened, but if it was no one ever called her that), Kita-chan, and Mai-chan. They were involved in some game in which they were portraying a family of sorts and immediately Kita-chan thrust a man doll at me and told me I could be the "father". It took me a while to make sense of the rules they had created and for the most part they were very accommodating, compromising when someone had a differing opinion.

Even though I didn't spend all that much time in preschool, missing days or leaving early to play games with the other Insei, I certainly enjoyed my time with the girls. For their part they seemed to enjoy having me with them. With a boy they could do things they couldn't have before, like get "married". They were always changing the rules on me and I had to keep up – the secret was not to take anything as a solid fact.

To the girls, reality was flexible and therefore could be changed easily. One day I would be Kita-chan's "husband", the next I was Mai-chan's. I didn't know if they drew straws or what for the privilege of being my "wife" or if they had just agreed to share me like they seemed to share everything else. Or, almost everything else – Souko wouldn't share her doll because it was a special doll, there was a sparkly rubber ball that Mai wouldn't share, a toy horse that Kita wouldn't let out of her sight, and Suka was reluctant to part company with a little book on a kitty, though if she was asked nicely she would let someone look at it.

It was nice spending time with them and thinking about things not related to Go at all. The pro tournament was coming up soon, but I was not particularly worried about it. In a way, the girls kept me grounded. They surprised me sometimes, too, as I recall the dignified ladies I had played Go with as Sai had on occasion. I was with the girls, as usual, when Akito finally decided that enough was enough and stalked over to our little group in the middle of our pretend traditional tea ceremony. Mai-chan was making things up as she went along and I chose not to correct her – her way was much more interesting. We all glanced up since it was unavoidable. He glared at me and demanded in a tone that suggested I should truly be offended, though I was not, that "You've been playing with the girls all the time! Are you a girl now?"

Before I could respond, Souko had risen to her feet and marched right over to the boy. "What wrong with that?" she demanded. I wondered if she was still upset over the doll incident or if this was truly in defense of me. The other three girls stood as well and put in their own comments of "Yeah!" and "What's wrong with girls?"

After the united front and seeing that he was clearly outnumbered, Akito backed off, but not without suggestingto me that I was even worse than a girl for letting girls defend me. I hadn't moved from my seated position on the floor and I watched Souko as she turned around, her face screwed up into a scowl as she told me in no uncertain terms, "You're one of us!"

"I'm still a boy." I said calmly and I saw her expression soften somewhat.

"Yes," she agreed, "But you aren't like them." Them, apparently, were all the other boys and I couldn't have agreed with her more. If any of them had been a spirit for countless ages, you certainly couldn't tell by the way they acted.

One day after I had missed yet another dayof preschool, Souko looked at me in concern and asked if I wasn't feeling very well. It made me wonder if I looked sick, but I assured her that I was feeling fine. Then she expressed her concerns because I kept missing so many days and usually that only happened when people were sick and since I had missed a lot of days, that must have meant I was really sick. Mai-chan had nodded in agreement and told us about a cousin of hers that had to go to the hospital a lot because there was something wrong with his stomach. I wassure Mai had gotten the wrong idea on what was wrong with her cousin, but we all nodded as if we knew exactly what she was saying.

"You don't have to worry about me. I miss daysto play Go." It was the simplest explanation I could give them since I doubted they would know what an Insei was. "Every so often I go to the Go Institute and play some games with other kids."

Kita was intrigued. "Really? How do you start that?"

"First you have to be good enough to pass their test and then you get to be one of the members in the group and play on certain days. It's for kids that want to become pro Go players someday."

Suka tugged at my sleeve and I turned my attention to her as she asked in her soft voice, "What's Go?"

"It's a game with black and white pieces that are placed on a Go board – sort of like a better, more complicated version of chess." The look on her face suggested that she didn't know what chess was, either. "Here." I took a piece of paper and drew some lines on the paper. "This is what the board looks like. You place stones that are either black or white on the board for the purpose of getting the most territory and capturing your opponents' stones."

The girls were fascinated and immediately wanted to learn so I went to Sensei Kimura and asked if there was a piece of cardboard or construction paper I could use. She found a piece of cardboard and cut it into two small square for me, which I then took and drew on lines as precisely as I could. It wasn't the best job I could have done, but it would do.Since there was also alack of Go stones, Suka, Kita, Mai, Souko, and I cut out little circles in construction paper that was either black or white. Most of the circles were lopsided, but that didn't really matter. To them, it was perfect.

I explained the very basics to them and then played a game with Souko and Mai at the same time on our mini Go boardswhile the other two observed and asked questions. Then they switched, with Kita and Suka playing while Souko and Mai watched. They picked up on it pretty quickly and I told them that they all had done well; they glowed at the praise. When preschool ended, I took the two makeshift Go boards and Go stones to Sensei Kimura and asked her to put them in a safe place for us to use later. I couldn't quite read the look in her eyes, but I think she might have been impressed with me, though I had no idea why.

There were days when the girls wanted to play Go and days when they didn't. I always let them decide and whether I was teaching them Go or we were playing "house" we were always having fun. One day, when 'kasan was actually not early for once – she had a tendency to whisk me away before any of the other children's parents showed up – Souko grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the door where a tall man had appeared. The man knelt down to capture Souko in a hug even as she dragged me closer to them.

In a rush of words that wassaidso quickly that it was hardto follow, Souko introduced me to the man who apparently was her otousan. He smiled at me fondly in a way that reminded me very much of Souko. "I've heard so much about you and I'm glad to finally get the chance to meet you. She tells me you are the one that started to teach them all how to play Go and that you sometimes aren't in preschool because you're playing Go." The way he said it suggested that he wasn't quite sure if Souko had told him the correct thing because it sounded so strange to him.

I nodded. "I'm an Insei, so I play at the Go Institute. The pro test is coming up soon, too. I hope my friend is able to pass – only three people are selected to be pro players at the end." I was getting better at speaking like a child, I thought. It had something to do with being around them all the time.

"An Insei?" Souko's 'tousan gave me a long look. "I didn't know there were Insei your age. How long have you been an Insei?"

"Almost a year, but I hope to be a pro soon, so then I won't be an Insei any longer. I'm the only Insei my age. Most are older, maybe ten or fourteen." A shadow loomed over me and I glanced up, my face immediately becoming somber. "'Kasan." I hoped she hadn't heard what I had been saying; it all tended to annoy her.

Souko's 'tousan had seen my look and frowned at it as he stood to greet my okasan. He introduced himself and she, having no other option in all politeness, did the same. "I've heard so much about Shin from my daughter. He tells me he's an Insei. That's quite an accomplishment."

I winced as 'kasan latched suddenly onto my hand. "Yes, it is," she said tightly. At my soft squeak of pain she released my hand. As damage control I bowed politely and said, "It was nice meeting you Hayashi-san. I'll see you tomorrow Souko-san." Okasan echoed me automatically, recalling her manners and then hastily retreated. By that I knew she had very clearly heard my desire to become a pro Go player, which I knew she was still trying to delude herself about. I felt guilty about my dreams and what they were doing to hers, but they were the one thing about myself that I could not change to suit her nor would I even try.

To be continued-