It's Not Typical, But...
Chapter 3- Date Rape Drugs and Anthrax Notes
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And so the night dragged on and everyone, sans Duo had been dragged to the dance floor. Meiran had demanded rather physically that she and Wufei grind a hip or two and Trowa and Quatre were more than inclined to follow the two. This left poor, spastic Duo all to himself. Not that he minded much. I mean who wanted to go out and spend a nice evening with friends dancing the night away?
He sighed miserably into his glass of ice water. Not only was he alone at the moment, but some deep moralist part of him was not allowing him to get shit-faced. Why did life have to be so cruel? More importantly why did he have to be so adverse to close contact with anyone but Wufei?
'Ah, I know the answer to that one. Porn kills relationships.' He nodded drunkenly to himself despite the lack of alcohol. Loneliness was proving to be nature's vodka. He sighed into his icy beverage again focusing on one particular ice cube that seemed to have more character then all the rest.
He sighed again as a pair of legs encased in a tight pair of jeans walked up to the bar next to him. He sighed still as said legs stood there as their torso leaned up against the bar. He sighed quite explosively as a voice attached to said body parts ordered a drink. He looked up from his water only to behold the weird guy from earlier.
"Oh honestly…" He cut his eyes away.
"Honestly what?", a deep and rather nasally voice asked.
Duo jumped up and let out a surprised yelp. He found his himself whipping around to where the voice came from. He looked pained when he discovered that it had come from his mystery man.
The man was smirking down at him, his blue eyes cold and only tinged with a hint of amusement. They kind of left Duo dumbstruck. He wasn't particularly used to that feeling but he'd found in the few times he'd experienced it that he appeared very stupid until he returned to his senses. How unfortunate that it was one of those times.
His inability to focus on normal thoughts allowed him to concentrate on the man's appearance- or rather more than just his eyes and his mouth. He had a good deal of Asiatic features such as slanted eyes and olive skin(or what he could guess to be olive in the altered lighting), but the eyes couldn't possibly be Asian. His hair looked like it hadn't seen a comb since the day he was born, but it wasn't a bad thing in his case. He was wearing a sleeveless deep green shirt that didn't cling to him too tightly but was still able to show off a slender, but hot frame.
"Hey, you didn't answer my question." His thick eyebrows were now scrunched up in bemusement at the man in front of him.
'Man in front of him… Um, who could that lucky person be?' Duo blinked. He blinked again. Crap. And thus he'd been made to look like an idiot again all because of some eyes. 'Nice eyes. Ah jeez, focus Maxwell!'
"Uh…could you repeat that?"
The blue eyed man blinked. "I asked you what you were saying 'honestly' about."
He'd said that? Crap. "Uh, at risk of sounding air headed, I don't remember even saying that."
Instead of a snide look that would have plainly said 'you idiot' he was met with another slightly amused smirk. "Well you don't sound so much air headed as you do distracted. Would you be willing to discuss it?"
Duo blinked in surprise. Just where was this conversation going? "Discuss what?"
The man took the stool next to him as the bartender handed him his drink. "Discuss what it is that is bothering you."
"Uh…" 'Okay, warning lights should be going off right about now. A random stranger is asking about me for seemingly no reason except for date rape. He has to be a closet rapist or something to take that much interest in me. Well, interest beyond the physical. Unless this is just a nifty pick-up line that he uses on all the pretty ones. Pull out Duo! Pull out!'
"It's not so much one thing that bothers me, but I could probably connect all of my problems to one source." 'Fuck!'
Blue eyes sipped at his drink. "So then tell me about the source. And talk a lot. I don't like to speak much."
'Hey, idiot! That's another warning sign! I don't like to talk but I like to rape! Yeah, what about rape!' Amazingly Duo was still ignoring his spastic inner voice and was still speaking to his new acquaintance. "Well, it's my job really. I think I can honestly say that I hate it out right. I mean it's not just what I do that bothers me, it's the people that I work with. Just because I've got a pretty face and long hair doesn't mean that I'm a female! I don't want to deal with work related discrimination yanno?"
The man nodded. "I think I understand."
"Good," Duo said grinning at him now. 'Oh great. Why don't you just dangle your titties all over him next. And then while you're tonguing his ear he can slip some drugs into your water…'
Despite how adamant his inner voice had become, Duo continued to speak with the man, maybe even as though he'd known him for a while. He wasn't to quick to think that there was a deep connection between them because he'd played enough roles in which there was a connection such as that and he wasn't too thrilled with what came from such things.
'Definitely no butt sex on the first date. Wait, is this a date?' These thoughts, along with others, were running through his head about an hour later. The young porn star had found that he was really enjoying himself with someone besides Wufei. Not that Quatre wasn't an interesting one to be around, it was just different with this mystery man in front of him. 'Speaking of mystery, just what the fuck is his name?'
"Hey, I've spilled enough of my guts on you. You wanna spill some of yours?"
The man 'hmmed'. "No."
Duo blinked back surprise. No?
"I've already said I don't like talking very much." He'd finished his drink over a half an hour ago and had taken to making origami cranes with nearby napkins. Without looking down at his hands of course. Some people are just amazing like that.
"Well," Duo began, a little chagrined, "Can I at least have your name?"
The man looked thoughtful for half a second before answering. "No, I don't think you can have it. I've become attached to it over the last 19 years." With that, he stood up and dumped the handful of cranes he'd made into Duo's lap. In the time Duo spent trying to keep the folded paper in his lap, his mystery man had disappeared.
'Ah dammit. The first time I haven't had an issue with a guy in years and he takes off like that.' He sat there on his stool visibly pouting. 'Wait a fucking minute! Guys are worthless! Girls are worthless! I don't have interest in either of them- oh hell that sounds weak even to me. Dammit.' His face returned to his now empty glass and he sighed.
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The night ended spectacularly for all in the sense that it didn't. Trowa and Quatre had decided long ago that the evening would end nicely seeing as how they were dating. Wufei and Meiran's evening didn't end on a good note meaning that it did in some sick twisted way. And Duo. Our dear, dear Duo. He'd classify the evening as a failure only alleviated by the fact that he would see these people again.
Before parting ways, they'd all exchanged cell phone numbers and whatnot so as to meet at a later date. Otherwise, the evening blew. It blew like a cheap hooker.
"Man, Wuffers, this night blew just about as well as you do," Duo exclaimed as he flopped back against his temporary bed.
Wufei half-glared at him. "Somehow I understand what you said and yet I'm still insulted that you chose to use me in that fucked up metaphor of yours." He too went to his bed and began taking of his clothes, starting with his shoes.
"Ah c'mon Wu! You couldn't very well expect me to use a cheap hooker as my example! Cuz considering that she's cheap she probably isn't very good."
Wufei threw one of his shoes in Duo's direction. "I find it interesting that you chose an inverse relationship, it being the better the blow the worse the suckiness of your evening."
"Oi, don't get all mathy on me!" He rubbed at the top of his head where his friend's shoe had hit. "You know I didn't go to high school!"
In response the other shoe was thrown. "And you know that I didn't attend that institution either, but I still have enough sense to not be such a jack-ass."
Duo grimaced but kept speaking. "Aww, is that your way of saying you love me Wu-wu?"
Wufei snorted, though it sounded more like a chuckle, and wandered into the bathroom. "Get some sleep Maxwell," he called from the lavatory.
Duo flopped out dramatically. "Work. So that's what you call lying on your back and groaning for 3 hours?" A muffled snicker answered him. "Alright, alright. Bed time. I got it." Duo stripped out of his clubbing clothes and tossed them to the floor. He pulled back the covers on his bed but hesitated to climb in.
When his Chinese friend emerged from the bathroom Duo was still perched on the edge of the bed, seeming reluctant.
"What is it now, you idiot?"
The braided man looked up at his friend and shuddered. "Semen sheets."
Wufei's eyes widened as though he too now realized what they were up against. "Not the dreaded semen sheets!", he cried only half in mock-fear. True one shouldn't get so worked up over a set of sheets unless the one were obsessive compulsive, but to be honest anyone else's semen anywhere was just gross.
"Wufei," Duo whined. "I don't wanna touch them!" His voice had taken on an annoying sing-song lilt.
"So what do you suppose I do about this?"
Duo was suddenly at Wufei's side clutching onto his arm. He whispered, "Perform ancient Chinese magic?" The Chinese boy shoved him off, got into bed and turned off the light.
"Goodnight idiot."
Duo pouted in the dark, but climbed into bed nevertheless. "Goodnight Fei."
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The next morning revealed to very tired porn stars amongst the rest of the 'cast' for the latest film. Much like the day before, the director was going over the scenes to be shot for the day, his explanation involving the word sex every couple of words. And like the day before the rest of the cast seemed to not care too much that it did. And of course our two heroes were less than thrilled.
As the cast and crew broke up to prepare themselves, no pun intended, for another day of shooting, also no pun intended, the two good buddies remained where they were so as to discuss the fall-outs of the already rickety plot.
"Okay how can two people honestly have sex on one of those window cleaner things?", Duo questioned while fiddling with his braid.
"It should be physically impossible, meaning that nothing in the world could allow for that. Unless they were a couple of borrowers going at it." Wufei snickered.
"Ah come on, that's just wrong!"
"Well how do you think little borrowers are made?" He snickered more at Duo's reaction.
"It's just- ah! So gross! Thanks for ruining my childhood memories Fei!"
"No problem sweetheart!" He burst out laughing as he headed for his dressing area.
Duo grumbled all the way into his own dressing room and still continued even after the door had closed. He continued to grumble all the way over to his closet and grumbled still as he put on his 'outfit' for the day. He even grumbled as he sat at his vanity to apply his whore make-up. In fact he didn't stop grumbling until he noticed a rather plain looking envelope taped to his mirror.
'The fuck?' He reached out and snatched the envelope from the mirror and set to inspecting it. There was nothing on the outside of the package, except his name. 'Hmm, this is really effing suspicious. Like, unsigned letters sent to the Pentagon suspicious. Oh Christ, this has anthrax in it doesn't it?' He held the thin package up to the light so as to see through it. Well, if there's white powder in here shouldn't I be able to see it this way?
He shook it from side to side, his head tilted up towards the light trying to see what was inside without having to open it. 'Crap, all I can tell is that there's paper inside.' He sighed. 'I am so gonna die in a sec. I hope Wufei knows hat he can have all of my hair ties.'
He finally gave in and slipped a finger underneath a slightly raised edge of the flap and drew it across the entire envelope. He reached a hand inside and dug out the paper he'd spotted through is CSI skills earlier.
'Notebook paper? Who sends a note on notebook paper unless their in the 7th grade? Or my boss… crap, what does he want?' He unfolded the page and was surprised to find that the handwriting was not that of his sleazy employer but that of a much neater and probably way more refined individual. He read quickly over what was written.
'The hell? I wish to see you again my dear lily-boy? The fuck does that mean? Oh, and they left an address. Great.' He sighed exasperatedly. 'I am so not going to go meet this jack-ass. No way in hell. Nope, not gonna. Maybe.'
He took a quick look around his surroundings. 'Probably.' He looked down at what he was wearing for the day. 'Definitely.'
He folded the paper back up and shoved it into the envelope. 'Well mystery person, looks like I'm just damned desperate enough to give my life away to a stranger. Lucky you.'
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The fuck? i kno... just... yes, review and leave me alone... and thanx to Clingy, dk-joy, Mayaku-chan, and tre-chan for even bothering to read this shit...