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Rin sat, clutching the needle and fine thread, staring at the horrible wound to her lord's arm. The edges of the cut were straight and would heal together with hardly a mark. Provided she used small stitches. Lord Sesshomaru sat in stoney silence on the wooden stool, watching his ward from the corner of his eye. Where once her hands were steady and sure, now Rin's hands shook as she swallowed loudly. He would let her squirm for a bit longer before telling her her minstrations were not necessary. She took several more deep breaths. Whether it was to calm herself or keep from being ill was anyones guess. Her small hands were cold as ice as she dabbed at the wound with a small cloth, careful not to press too firmly on the skin.

"I'm sorry I went after Tenseiga, my lord. I didn't mean to distract you." she said softly.

"Don't be foolish. You did not distract me. You should have more faith in your lord's ability to defend himself."

Sesshomaru felt Rin's hands slowly pull away from him. She had set the cloth aside, still holding the needle and thread firmly in her other hand. Her face was white as a sheet as she chewed on her bottom lip. Clearly the idea of piercing his flesh made her ill. He watched in silent amusement as her quivering hand gently pressed the edges of the wound together and she brought the needle to begin the first stitch. She was really going to do it! Rin was going to ignore her fears and sew the wound closed. He had to put her out of her misery. Gently, he reached up and covered her hand on his arm.

"Rin, this is unnecessary. You forget. I am a demon. This wound will heal itself in a day's time. Do not waste your time tending to such a minor injury as this," Sesshomaru instructed as he took the needle from her hand, "You said you wished to have tasks...a purpose."

She didn't dare hope for too much. Certainly he was going to give her something trivial to do. Perhaps have her take over one of Master Jaken's tasks. Rin nodded silently, watching her lord's eyes to try and read what he was thinking. If only he would give her something of real worth to do. Something to prove she was more than just a bothersome human girl.

"Very well then. Jaken lacks the tact needed to deal with demon lords. To be honest, he lacks the ability to deal with much of anyone. The time to negotiate peace treaties with those lords of the Eastern, Southern and Northern lands is coming. Considering the debactle Jaken nearly made of the last negotiations with his posturing, I think perhaps it is time to give the task of mediator to one with less foolish pride."

Rin could only gape at her lord. Her! A mediator between the great lords! This was far greater than anything she had expected. Jaken would be outraged, of course. He took such great pride in his station as mediator and often told Rin the tales of his many experiences at the peace negotiations. Of course many of those stories ended with Lord Sesshomaru having to extract the vassel from one mess or another.

"Why would lords of the great lands listen to anything I had to say, my lord? I am just a human and a woman at that. You do me a great honor, Lord Sesshomaru, but I'm afraid I would disgrace you!"

"The lord of the Northern Lands is a human, Rin. However, he is also the most stubborn and foolhardy lord as well. Our negotiations with him have never gone well and dragged on for days. Each decade when we must go through this insipid practice, his demands have grown more and more outrageous. Perhaps, with a fellow human there, this time he will be reasonable." Sesshomaru replied, for the first time ever explaining his reasons.

"So in otherwords, you hope I can appeal to his rational side by making it seem as if I will take his side in the negotiations!" Rin smiled, slowly warming to the idea of becoming Lord Sesshomaru's mediator.

Sesshomaru did nothing to stop the smirk that came to his face. Rin's mind was becoming as sharp as his own. The position he was offering to her put her in a position of power in the Western Lands that no human had possessed before. A demon lord commonly had a demon mediator just as a humon lord had a human counterpart. With any luck, Rin would be able to negotiate treaties in his favor. To a demon, she could appear the part of a simple human who could never grasp the complexities of such matters while to a human she would beguile them with a sense of unity as humans. Already Sesshomaru could sense the wheels turning in Rin's head.

"How long do we have?"

"Til the negotiations?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow, "A week, perhaps two. Tensions have been mounting for months now between the Southern and Eastern lands. All thanks to the Northern lord, of course. He wishes to extend his reach and take control of the lands that fall into war. Little does he realize as he feeds the hatred between the Southern and Eastern lands, the lords of those respective lands plot in secret to overthrow him as well."

Rin was already deep in thought. Her lord was sharing far more with her than he ever had. Maybe he had finally come to trust her completely. Suddenly she gave a small jolt, seeming to snap out of her reverie. A week or two before once again the great hall was overrun with demons, humans and their many vassels and servants. After the turmoil since their arrival, those few days of peace and quiet would be greatly welcomed. It would also mean there would be nothing to distract them from finally discussing just what had transpired between them and what it meant.

Sesshomaru's thoughts were running in that very same vein. Like his halfdemon brother, Sesshomaru had noticed how he, too, seemed to fight with more determination with a human female present. Kagome had given InuYasha's existance a sense of purpose beyond that of striving to become a full demon. Rin had done the same for her lord. Supreme conquest wasn't something worth fighting for. The life of someone who gave you purpose was worth living, fighting and dying for. InuYasha had finally found the courage to make a life with the human girl. And in truth, the girl had made him stronger, faster and more powerful than even the Shikon No Tama could have.

Slowly Sesshomaru rose to his feet, covering himself with his haori but leaving it open. Formality between himself and Rin hardly seemed necessary. She was every way his mate save for his openly claiming her as such. To have his mate as his mediator would be far from conventional but since when had he done anything as was dictated to him? Sesshomaru watched as Rin carefully gathered the bowl of water and cloth, carrying them back to the stand in the far corner and passing before the massive expanse of his bed. The whisper of her jade green kimono on the floor, the sight of her before his bed, soon had Sesshomaru's thoughts dwelling elsewhere than on negotiations, treaties and warring lords. Would she welcome him to her? What would he do if she did not? Take her by force? No. That wasn't how it should be between mates.

"Rin. Come here." he instructed, his voice low but commanding.

Always so trusting and obedient, Rin set the bowl and cloth down on the table and came to him, her eyes wide, her brow wrinkled in question. Thus far, things between them had been so strained and full of upheaval. Part of her hoped he would tell her they would take the time given to them and flee this place if only for those few days. His eyes were readable to her once more. She saw the confusion and conflict there. He was as at a loss as she was. Laying together once could be chalked up to a simple lapse in judgement. To do so twice would mean this thing between them was far deeper and more complicated.

"I suppose one of us must speak of it, Lord Sesshomaru. Behind closed doors, you have claimed me as your mate. Yet before your counterparts you remain silent on the subject. Am I to remain some shameful secret or will there ever come a day when I might openly stand at your side, as your equal in all ways?"

"Is it trully so important to you that all might know just who and what you are?"

"Is it so important to you that none might know just who and what I am?" she countered.

"It is not as simple as you make it out to be, Rin. There is much to consider. My title might afford you some protection but it also places you in grave danger. Just the implication that you might be my mate has already put your life in jeopardy. I have ever been your protector. Would you have me put you in harm's way with such blatant disregard?" he demanded.

"I would have you as mine!" she cried out, stepping back from him as tears of sheer frustration flooded her eyes, "I care nothing of the dangers or hardships! If I wanted a safe and simple life, do you honestly believe I would have followed you this far! No! It was no childish dream or foolish wish when I said I wished to remain with you forever!"

"When you spoke those words you were but a child who knew no other life!" he snapped, "I have given you years to realize this life is not some fantasy! I am forever, Rin! I will outlive you by millenia! I will have to sit back and watch as I lose you to an enemy I can neither fight nor defeat! Time does not know caring, nor compassion, nor love!"

"I am not asking time to show me caring, compassion or love! I am asking YOU to show me those things! Can you not put your pride aside even for a moment and let me in!" she choked as the tears fell swiftly, "Would it be so terrible to open your heart to me as you have opened your eyes! You held me as a man holds a woman, you touched me as such. Why can you not love me that way as well!"

"You ask the impossible of me, Rin." he said heavily.

"And you ask the impossible of me when you expect me to be content with only having access to your body and not your heart, my lord. If that is what it would be like between us as mates...I don't want it. I will serve as your mediator but that shall be the extent of things between us. Maybe Jaken was right. I do reach beyond my means. I was a fool to think I had proven myself as a woman to you."

Sesshomaru felt his hands curling into tight shaking fists. Why could she not be happy with what he was offering her?

'Maybe because what you are offering to her is little more than a slap in the face?'

Again with his conscience! Battling the will of one strong minded woman was impossible enough.

'How would you feel if you were treated like someone's great shame? Held and cherished so long as others are not there to see it and shun it. You think your life would be so difficult if other demons discovered your mate was a human woman? Imagine Rin's if other humans were to find out she had chosen a demon lord as her mate. She would hardly be welcomed into their society with open arms. Yet she is willing to swallow her pride, ignore others dislike of the match and be with you openly. Who is the weak one here?'

It was all such a vicious cycle. Claim her and endanger her, do not claim her and lose her. Leave things just as they were so she might someday be able to return to the life amongst humans or go forward and have her shunned by her own people. Sesshomaru watched silently as Rin turned from him, her small shoulders shaking in silent sobs. Why would a human be willing to put herself through such misery just to be with him? Was he worth that much to her?

"Why, Rin?"

"Why what, my lord?"

"Why is this so important to you?"

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I realize I may have gone a bit ooc with Rin but I like to think she has grown and evolved beyond the doe eyed worshipful follower and maybe is discovering a bit of her own feminine power. And hell I think she and the prideful Lord Sesshomaru should clash just a bit. He would keep her a child forever and she is ready to step out of her shell. Angst, baby! Gotta love it!