Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to the great and awesome Kubo Tite
Author's notes: Sorry about Soi Fong being OCC but I always made her girlish with a short attention span from the omake and coloured chapters.
Suggestions for more ridiculous situations are welcome!
Once she reached the lush green gardens of the Kuchiki estate did Soi Fong stop to consider what her next plan of action will be. 'Drat' she thought, she has been too impatient as usual. She started reminiscing the glorious moment she had been reunited with Yoruichi-sama and she had accused Soi Fong of being too much in a hurry. "Really, how quickly I concluded that Yoruichi-sama is a traitor and spent 100 years dwelling on it…Luckily it only took her a few minutes to forget the decades of holding the grudge" she mused. Her thought was interrupted by a light cough behind her.
Byakuya was really starting to get annoyed. He had been sitting in the pavilion immersed in Naruto's dedication in his training when he felt Captain Soi Fong appear in his garden. He was indignant, even if she was his elder she had no right to burst into his garden like that but it seemed that she had not noticed that he was reading manga. In fact she did not seem to have noticed his presence at all and was lost in a day dream. He stashed his manga away and decided to approach her and overlook her trespass. He really had a thing for petite women. He coughed slightly to attract her attention.
Soi Fong didn't like to be interrupted especially when she was thinking about Yoruichi-sama. She turned and declared: Kuchiki, I shall have your head for not acquiescing to Yoruichi-sama's request! Byakuya was non-plussed, "what the hell…?" He thought, Yoruichi-san had asked him to look after a black cat for a while and let it sleep it his chambers. He had flatly refused, he hated cats and he hated Yoruichi too, she always beat him at tag when they were kids. Byakuya did not look like it but he could sure hold grudges. He could not see what the big deal was. His train of thought was interrupted by Soi Fong taking a swipe at him with a Kunai. Ah, she reminds me of Ten ten was his last thought before he had to jump back to avoid another swipe.
As Soi Fong was attacking him madly she was thinking: "How dare he not let Yoruichi-sama have a photo album of him. How dare he ruin his beautiful hair with that ugly Kenkeisan?". " I shall destroy your kenkeisan" she shouted menacingly. This didn't leave him any choice, to save his beloved hair apparel, he would do anything. Snatching one of her kunai he attacked but in advertence he cut off one of her braids. She stopped dead on her tracts and started wailing (Yoruichi had once commented that her braids look cute) Byakuya ordered his servants to accompany the nearly hysteric Soi Fong to the entrance.
" Really" he thought as he made his way back in with his precious books, 'that woman spends too much time with Zaraki. She must be catching his battle bug." (Ever since Zaraki professed admiration in Yoruichi-san's battle tactics figure, he had found a good friend in Soi Fong). Perhaps he should try reading some Kenshin, the blond brat's stubborn disposition was reminding him unpleasantly of an orange haired one.
By the time she reached the secret head quarters, Soi Fong's tears had dried and her resolve had hardened. She marched in determinedly and said " He wants war and he'll get it. It's time to deploy the 'heavy' artillery" staring straight at Rangiku.
In his mansion Byakuya sneezed thrice in a row. His servant sighed and thought: Great evil is approaching….