Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers.

Chapter Fourteen

Zelgadis set sail for India with his troops. The journey was not a short one and it would take months for them to reach their destination. It gave him lots of time to reminisce on the events surrounding Lina. As he often stood on the deck of the ship, staring out onto the sea, he would remember her. Every moment he remembered seemed masochistic, as each thought cut like a knife, but he forced himself to think of them and analyze them. Like the first time he met her, he really didn't believe that the girl with the wild fiery locks was destined to break his heart. Or the time she had snuck into his bedroom to tell him the truth about Rezo – she looked dazzling in her white nightdress. Someone standing in the yard looking up at his window could have easily seen her shape as a ghost's, shining and beautiful in the moonlight. Damn it!

She was a ghost . . . and she was haunting him.

His men noticed that something was wrong with him as well. It couldn't be missed. His temper was shorter and his tolerance for jokes had disappeared entirely. He had also lately developed an insistence that every member of his regiment behave like a gentlemen, pushing structure and organization onto all of them harder than ever before. He never seemed to care what they did in the mess quarters before, but now it was of utmost importance that they were extremely well-behaved. No one seemed to understand why he had turned into such a grump.

"Didn't he just get married?" one of the lieutenants asked another.

"That's what I heard," the other replied.

"One would think that he'd be happy."

"His bride didn't come with him. He's a colonel! He could have brought her along if he wanted."

"Perhaps she wouldn't come."

"To be sure, that would explain why he's so bad-tempered. Poor chap, having to leave his bride behind."

Zel overheard tidbits of several conversations like this, and quickly discarded them as they were unimportant to him. He didn't like to admit that that was one of the reasons why he was so temperamental. Lina had refused to come with him.

When Zelgadis' regiment actually did arrive in India, Zelgadis was in for a shock. It wasn't that he really expected to have to go to battle, but he thought he would be busier with the coordination of patrolling Bombay, or perhaps with rebels. Instead, the only things he had to worry about were minor personnel issues and social engagements. He hated the latter more than he had ever hated anything before in his life.

Of course he had always been pressed into going into the world socially because of his rank and his mother, but it had never bothered him so much in his life as it did now that he was in India. It was just that he had never really enjoyed society . . . until he met Lina and was forced into company so much because of their engagement. He didn't enjoy it then either, but he enjoyed her.

Then there was the one incident that pushed him over the edge.

He had been at a ball hosted by some local gentry that all of his men were very excited to attend. He was standing guard in his usual corner, partially drunk, and getting still drunker by the minute, when this woman approached him. It wasn't ordinary for women to just suddenly spark up a conversation with him, nor was it polite when they hadn't been formally introduced. She was a very tall woman with long flowing black hair, tied up in the fashion of the day, and blue eyes like gem stones. She didn't ask him his name either, so he assumed that the bad manners were just the order of the day.

"You look lonely," she said flirtatiously. "Could you use some company?" Her eyebrows were drawn up curiously, and the way she tilted her body towards him gave him a pretty good look at her sizable chest.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her if she was a prostitute, but resisted the urge, clinging desperately to the order and structure Lina hated. So, he had to act the gentleman to a woman who was certainly no lady.

Instead he politely asked the woman her name.

"Oh, it's Gracia," she said flippantly, "but you can call me Naga. I wanted to ask you if you liked dancing."

"I do not," he answered coldly.

Suddenly, she tilted her chin at him and looked at him more seriously. "You're . . ."

"Colonel Greywers," he answered.

Her eyes went wide in recognition, and she moved as though to hastily depart.

"Stop," he ordered, exactly in the tone of military officer and Naga stopped dead in her tracks, intimidated by his voice. "What is it you've heard about me to scare you like that?"

She hesitated.

But Zelgadis was drunk enough to feel reckless and he asked her to dance with him. Apparently, she was too afraid to refuse and put her palm into his outstretched hand. A waltz was playing.

"I'm really not afraid of you," she said quietly, but Zel knew she was lying. "I've just heard a lot about you from the men in your regiment and from . . . anyway, I was really just looking for a good time and a few laughs, as long as I'm stuck here in India with my husband."

"So, you're stuck here because your husband's a military man? What have my men told you about me?"

Naga bit down on her lower lip and refused to answer. "I told you, I just wanted a laugh, and I thought you looked like a person who could use a little pick-me-up. That's all. I really don't want to get involved with you."

"So, you're going to turn this around and act like I propositioned you? Ridiculous! Everyone knows I'm a broken-hearted man whose wife has refused to accompany him on his travels. They pity me," he said, voicing his disgust.

"They don't pity you," she said quietly.

"What?"

"Look," she said seriously, "you're very attractive in a dangerous kind of way, but I know I couldn't count on you for just a laugh. My cousin Eris told me about you."

"Eris? Miss Eris Claire?" Zel asked, thinking of the little seamstress who had helped him outfit Lina. "That's who you mean isn't it?"

She nodded.

"What could she possibly have against me? My wife and I helped save her business."

"Don't act all innocent," Naga hissed. "You had an affair with her!"

"Me?" Zel asked, almost stumbling in the dance. "I didn't even know her before I was engaged to Miss Inverse. She sewed all the clothing for my wife's toilette, and I've never seen a woman happier to stitch a wedding dress. You must be mistaken."

"I'm positive she said it was a Mr. Greywers, who had an estate outside . . . Argh! I can't think of the name of the village," she said.

"I don't have an estate," Zel confessed. Then he suddenly remembered Lina's saying something about how Rezo had not been a 'very good boy'. "Do you possibly mean Mr. Rezo Greywers?"

"Oh dear! It was Rezo Greywers, and I've just made a terrible mistake, haven't I? I'm dreadfully sorry sir. How embarrassing!"

Zel let her go sit with her husband after that, and went to go have another drink.

That night, Zelgadis stood on the balcony of his room and felt the hot east wind blow over his bear skin. It was too hot for his night-shirt anyway, and life was too miserable regardless of it. He had a tall glass of water beside him. Water to salute Lina with! She had known that Rezo had been tumbling Eris, and used the information not only for her benefit, but for his as well. He was happy to drink to such a magnificently clever woman. That also meant that Rezo was probably Eris' financial backer who deserted her; probably because he was suspected of having an indiscrete relationship with her that would destroy his reputation. That also explained Rezo's taking such an interest in Lina's clothing – he recognized who made them. Zel was happy that he had unconsciously decided to support Eris' business – it was probably Rezo who told him that she was uncommonly good at her work and recommended her in the first place. He didn't like to think of any woman suffering because of Rezo's selfishness.

But then he found himself looking up at the starry sky thinking inescapably of Lina, and about how much he wanted her. He drank the rest of the water in a thirsty gulp. She didn't want him. He came to India to forget her – to lose himself in his work and find a way to live with his lot. However, even though he immersed himself in his work, he found that there simply wasn't enough of it to keep himself occupied, and he judged that if things continued as they were – he would go crazy.

He had been in Bombay for weeks and on the boat for months before that, but he had made no visible progress. His heart and mind were still full of Lina, and nothing else.

It was then that he made up his mind. The next day he would go see General Metallium and ask to be transferred to their conquests in Africa. There was no point staying where there was no work for him to do. He remembered what Lina and Madam Martina had thought about him if he got involved in a war, but he didn't care what monster they thought he would become. He didn't believe in fortune telling, since it deceived him into believing the woman he loved, loved him back. At least, if he was involved in the fighting, there was the possibility that he would never come back . . .

Author's Notes: Did anyone see that coming? Thanks for reviews, and see ya next time.