AN: Basically I'm writing this story because 'Over it' asked if I had some new Emma/Shal stories and for a while I didn't really have any new ideas, but this popped into my head and I decided to write it now instead of later because you wanted something new from me. So it's not exactly Shal and Emma, but it's all in the memory of Emma if you get what I mean? Hope you'll like it…

I guess you could call this a crossover with The L Word because I'm using Lara, but it won't include any of the other characters. In fact, I just took Lara from it and in this story the others don't exist. Hope you'll enjoy…and as always, I love reviews ;-)

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Shalimar didn't know why she was here, in LA of all places, but she had needed to get away from Sanctuary. Away from the concerned and knowing look of Jesse and the constantly flirting and unknowing looks of Brennan. She needed a break from it, she had to get away.

Emma had been dead for almost a year and Lexa had replaced her. Everyone had mourned over Emma's death for a month or so and then things had gone back to normal. For some at least. Jesse had been developing feelings for Lexa and Brennan had gone back to flirting with Shalimar. But while they were fine, Shalimar wasn't. She had always found it amusing when she and Brennan flirted as long as Emma was there, knowing she could cuddle up next to her whenever she needed to. But Emma's death had brought her a painful revelation. She didn't want Brennan, she wanted Emma. The soft caresses and the soothing words the psionic could provide was what she needed and she regretted not realizing it sooner. She should have known the first time when she thought Emma was gone because of Caleb, but she had pushed the tight grip around her chest and her breaking heart aside thinking it was just because the younger woman was her best friend and because she had failed her. But when she looked back it had all been so obvious. Thinking about it, she realized Emma must have understood it too because after that night the closeness between them increased. The subtle touches that lingered longer than they should, the sly smiles and the electricity in the room when they were alone; it was all so painfully obvious now. And just the thought of it even one year later made her chest tighten as if she couldn't breathe properly.

And Jesse knew. At least it seemed like he knew because he would occasionally shoot Brennan a warning look if he noticed the feral was in a particularly bad mood. He understood that the blonde was still mourning and was getting tired of the elementals pushing and obliviousness. One time she had even overheard Jesse telling him to back off a little and it had started a fight because Brennan thought Jesse wanted her for himself. Shalimar felt sorry for the molecular, but also thankful because he truly was the brother she had always thought of him as. He looked after her as best as he could even though it meant he's friendship with Brennan would be hurt or maybe even broken.

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The past weeks had been extremely awkward and uncomfortable for the feral. Brennan and Jesse's friendship was very spent and Jesse had been busy with Lexa. Brennan however had been even pushier than normally by always finding reasons to touch her and clearly checking her out at any occasion. Shalimar had started avoiding him more and more because she felt uncomfortable with it and he had just kept following her. At one time he had even asked her out. She had politely said no, but Brennan had kept insisting that they had something and had tried to rub her arm soothingly and flirtingly. She had lost it and pushed him hardly into the wall, her eyes flashing furiously at him because he had tried to do the same thing as Emma always did with her and she felt it like an intrusion in her privacy and in the memory of Emma.

After that Brennan had left her alone for a few days, but had quickly went back to flirting and touching.

One day Shalimar simply couldn't take it anymore and in fear of hurting the elemental she had packed a bag with clothes, money and memories of Emma and left. She didn't even leave a note because it wasn't her thing and because she didn't know what to say. All she knew was that she didn't wanna be found until she was ready.

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And now she was here, in Los Angeles, just walking around. She was grateful she had enough money so that she didn't need to start working for at least a month or more if she was careful and didn't waste the money.

So she walked along anywhere she felt like and stayed at cheap motels at night.

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Today it was a sunny day with no clouds in sight and she looked at all the people she passed as she walked aimlessly around.

How she wished she could just be normal so she wouldn't have to feel like she did now.

Sighing she walked into the first café/diner she saw and sat down with her back against the window.

It didn't take long before a waitress came over, asking what she wanted. She ordered a simple salad and was left alone to stare around the room.

Her eyes stopped at two doors that led to the kitchen.

As the doors opened Shalimar felt her heart beat faster.

It couldn't be. Before the doors closed again, she got a glimpse of a young woman with red hair. 'I must have gone crazy' she thought as she continued staring at the doors. A little later they opened again and she got a second glimpse at the woman. The feral couldn't believe what she was seeing. She had to know who it was, take a closer look to make sure she hadn't lost her mind.

In a daze she walked over to the disk and was met by a young man with a fake, extremely irritating smile.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I was hoping I could talk to one of the chefs, a young woman with red hair?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, but I need to speak to her please."

"I'll ask her if she's available."

The annoying guy disappeared and Shalimar was left tapping her foot impatiently and nervously.

A moment later the doors reopened and the man stepped out with the red head following.

The guy pointed at Shalimar and the woman walked over. Shalimar followed and studied her every move with her eyes.

"Can I help you?" the red head asked and the blonde had to force back a gasp at the soft voice that was exactly the same as the psionic's.

Shalimar just stared at her in shock and the younger woman shifted slightly uncomfortably.

"Miss, you wanted to talk to me."

The feral shook her head and opened her mouth only one word coming out. "Emma!"