Chapter 2

'Slash' means violence against orcs, right?

"I accept." Eomer said staring at Aragorn. "Go ahead, look my name up."

"Sure!" Aragorn said with almost childish glee. He typed in Eomer than clicked something that said 'M' on it, Eomer was puzzled by this, and watched to see what happened. Quite a few results came up, and Aragorn clicked the top most one.

Eomer began reading, occasionally interrupted by Merry and Pippin:

"Well, if it's high, then it must be on a pole, or elevated somehow!"

"No, no, no, it's in tower….it's got to be."

"For heaven's sake, Pip! If it was in a tower it would have said TOWER school, but no, it's HIGH school."

"But a tower IS high!"

"And YOU are stupid!"

"You didn't mean that."

"YES I D—"

"SILENCE! " Eomer cut them off. "If any race on this Middle Earth talks more than hobbits, please let me know." A now red in the face Eomer continued to read.

"Tower…" said Pippin faintly. Eomwe whirled around, giving Pippin an if-you-say-tower-or-high-school-one-more-time-I'll-feed-you-to-my-horse kind of look and resumed his reading. There was along silence; then Eomer's knuckles began to whiten and the lines on his forehead crease.

He stood up and drew his sword, pointing it at the small laptop. "This is an outrage!" Lothiriel went over to read it. "Lothy, don't…" she sat down.

A minute later she got up sobbing, and ran over to sit next to a very scandalized looking Arwen. "What Lothiriel and I do in our bedchamber is strictly private! PRIVATE!" Eomer bellowed, then he stormed off to sit next to his distraught wife.

"Gimli and I ought to be safe," said Legolas. "We don't even have lovers."

Aragorn looked at the screen: "I wouldn't bet on that, master elf." He said.

"Gimli and I?" Legolas panted. "We're…we're..." Legolas read down the page again. "Oh, Valar…oh…oh…oh…Gimli, help me up," Legolas thought about the horrible thing he had just read. "No, on second thought, don't"

Legolas hobbled over to a nearby bush and puked lembas for five whole minutes. "Strange, Gimli said, I never really thought of myself that way, and I definitely never thought of HIM that way," he pointed to wrtetching form of Legolas. "I guess now we see what they have to say about the wee hobbits. No one in their right mind would pervert such innocent creatures."

Twenty minutes later there where four very violated looking hobbits and an outraged wizard: "Saruman, indeed!" he said, resisting the urge to 'Flame of Udun' the computer.

"Oh Merry!" Sobbed Pippin, "Looking at you now, I feel so…dirty."

"Don't worry, Pip," Merry reached out to give him a reassuring hug, which made Pippin cry louder.

"Look at all this chaos!" said Boromir. "How could a group of people be so heartless!"

Aragorn didn't respond…he had an idea.

"Everybody who feels that they have been slandered gather over here!"

"What are we to do?" Said Eowyn, "How do we fight this tide of dirty nonsense?"

"We are going…" Aragorn paused to let the words sink in. "We are going to write a fanfic."

----- Well, there is chappy 2...chappy 3 will most likely be the last...plase r&r as you await...THE FANFIC OF THE FELLOWSHIP!