I'm not too sure if I can make this chapter funny. Leia and Vader don't exactly get along, you know, but I can try.

Leia

Darth Vader emerged from Luke's tiny bedroom, hauling his son by the arm.

"But there's nothing wrong with me!" Luke insisted as he tried to dig his boot heels into the floor. "If you'd just let go of your hate I'm sure you'll see him, too!"

"Stop this foolishness!" Vader hissed angrily.

Another door opened and Leia stepped out directly into Darth Vader's path. Her long brown hair hung loose down her back and she wore a white pants outfit with a matching white top. Upon seeing Vader, her eyes leaped open extra wide and she pulled the black blaster that hung on her thigh. Pointing the blaster at Vader's chest, she yelled for help. "Han! Han, Darth Vader is on the ship! He's trying to kidnap Luke!"

"Leia, he's not trying to kidnap me." Luke tried to reassure his sister. "Well, not exactly."

"And he did a mind trick on him already!" Leia yelled. The blaster steady, she kept her eyes on Vader's black mask. Finding him here, right here on the Falcon, had been shocking! That black vile mask he wore had given her nightmares and now he was after Luke again. What if he had done something to Han? "Han, where are you?"

CRASH!

"Leia, will you stop screaming?" Han appeared, rubbing his sore head where some metal tool had banged him one. "I'm trying to fix the ship! Geez, can't you people have a quite family reunion for once?"

"He's trying to kidnap Luke!" Leia repeated, her gaze shifting to Han Solo. "What's the matter with you? It's Darth Vader! You know, the Emperor's evil henchman? Why are you just standing there? Go get a blaster!"

Han rolled his eyes. "You didn't tell her yet, did you?"

"No." Vader replied. The Sith Lord knew it wasn't going to be easy. His daughter had no idea he was her father and it appeared she hated his guts. Great, just great!

"Tell me what?" Leia asked, confused. "What are you guys talking about? And why aren't you helping me, Han? Do you want him to kidnap Luke?"

"Leia, Father isn't kidnapping me. We've just had a small misunderstanding." Luke smiled at his sister, hoping she'd calm down. "Leia, why don't you just put the blaster away and we can talk about this like civilized people? You're the politician, remember?"

Leia sighed. "Are you going on about that nonsense again? Luke, he is NOT your father! And the only thing the Empire understands is blasters!"

"I know it's difficult, but I told you this before." Luke continued, sending calming Force waves towards his emotional, trigger-happy sister. "You agree I'm your brother. You said you've always known. So you have to accept this, too."

"No I don't! My father was Bail Organa and he was an honorable, kind and caring man. This … monster could never be my father!"

"You look just like your mother." Darth Vader stated, but it was obvious whom she inherited her temper from! "Her name was Padme."

The blaster wavered a bit, the barrel lowering. "How … how do you know that?"

"Because I AM your father." Darth Vader let go of Luke so he could deal with his sister. "I married Padme many years ago on Daboo."

"That's a lie! No one in their right mind would marry you!" Leia insisted. "You're too evil!"

"Ah, come on, Leia. Give Pops a chance." Han leaned against one of the walls in the narrow corridor. "Look, I didn't believe the crazy story at first either when I met him in the bar…"

"You met HIM in a bar?" Leia stared at Han, her mouth open a bit.

"Well, yeah." Han admitted, a sheepish expression on his face. "I know it sounds a bit crazy…"

"You're the crazy one for meeting him in a bar! And then you brought him back here so he could kidnap Luke! This is all insane." Leia didn't know what she was going to do. Han was probably under Vader's influence, Luke refused to help and she only had one blaster. And if she remembered correctly, Vader could deflect blaster bolts with his hand! "This is great, just great!"

"You are my daughter, Leia." Darth Vader said as he stood in front of her. "I know it's hard for you to believe but it's true. You think me a monster and I can understand that after being held prisoner on the Death Star and seeing the Empire blow up your world. At that time I didn't know I had children. I was never told. Believe me, I did love your mother. She meant everything to me. And when she was taken from me I couldn't handle it. I lost control and fell to the Dark Side."

Leia didn't want to believe any of it. The idea of this man being her father, it was a living nightmare! But what if it were true? Luke seemed to think so.

"What … what do you want with Luke?" Leia blurted out, trying to push the other subject into the background.

"To help him." Vader replied. "He is having … problems."

"You mean you caught him talking to the wall again." Leia didn't know what to do. She knew Luke had problems, but he claimed it was a Jedi thing. Since she knew nothing of Jedi, who was she to dispute his claim? Han, of course, thought he was bonkers. "Look, even if he does talk to walls, I can't let you take him off this ship! For all I know, that's just an excuse to get your vile black gloves on him and then you'll turn him into a Sith like you!"

"I'm not ready to leave the ship yet. You will talk to me, Daughter. Alone." Vader reached out and grabbed Leia's wrist and yanked her into Luke's room.

"What…" was all Leia managed to get out. The next thing she knew she was trapped in the room with Vader between her and the only door. At least she still had her blaster. "What do you want?"

"Do you love Han Solo?"

"What… why do you want to know that for?" Leia asked, confused. Was this some new trick the Empire had up its long and dirty sleeves? Then another thought crossed her mind. "Why aren't you arresting us?"

"Why would I arrest my own family?" Darth Vader stood in the doorway. Since he had come here many of the memories he had thought long gone had started to surface. And seeing his daughter, who looked so much like Padme, had brought up even more from the dark recesses of his mind. He remembered his younger self, so bold and in love. "All I ever wanted was to have a family and to be a Jedi. But it was forbidden for a Jedi to marry. The two things I wanted most were in conflict with each other and in the end I ended up with neither. I don't want the same to happen to my children. So do you love General Solo, for you should only marry someone you love."

"Yes…" Leia answered. This new Vader was confusing her, the way he was talking freely to her about his past. Could there actually be a human being under all that black armor, one with feelings? She had always just seen Vader as the cold-blooded puppet of the Emperor. Had Luke been right after all? Could there be good inside Vader? "Yes, I love Han. But I don't trust you and I don't see what business of yours it is."

"It's my business because I'm your father." Darth Vader could see Leia was going to be difficult. She had lots of anger inside her, aimed at him and at the Empire. "You must let go of your hate, Daughter, for it leads to the Dark Side. Anger is a dark pit that once you fall in you can't get out. It clouds your mind so you can't think straight. All it will do is ruin your life."

"So you expect me to just forgive you for all you've done in the past?" Leia asked, her arms crossed over her chest. "For blowing up Alderaan, torturing me in that cell aboard the Death Star, freezing Han in carbonite, not to mention all those other terrible things you did all across the galaxy! I don't see how you can just waltz in here and think you can play at being a father now after all those years. Providing, that is, if we're even related."

"Do you want to end up on the Dark Side?"

"No, of course not! But I'm not anything like you!" Leia insisted, a cold dread growing inside her heart. What if he was right? What if Darth Vader really was her father?

"But you are, Daughter. You have my bad temper and stubbornness. And if you're Luke's twin, you also have my powers."

"That's ridiculous! I don't have any powers!"

"Just because you don't know how to use them doesn't mean they're not there. Han also mentioned you choked Jabba. Choking is my preferred method of execution."

"Oh, great!" Leia muttered, disgusted with herself.

"Now, about General Solo. He seems to be a rather scruffy character."

"Tell me about it. He's a slob and I got to keep yelling at him to pick up stuff around the ship." Leia rolled her eyes, thinking of Han. She still couldn't believe Han had actually met Vader in a bar!

"He has a questionable reputation: smuggler, con man, space pirate. You could do better."

"But I love him." Leia spoke from her heart. "Maybe he's a bit rough on the outside, but his heart is in the right place. And if it wasn't for his old tricks at being a space pirate I probably wouldn't be alive. Neither would Luke. Han risked his own neck by going out at night on Hoth to save him. They both could have frozen to death out there. No one else was willing to go but Han did. And that should tell you all you need to know."

"Very well, if you are sure you love him and he loves you."

"I do and he does."

Vader would have sighed if he could have. Blast this respirator he had to use! It looked as if his daughter was set on marrying that slob of a space pirate! He turned to leave. "I will talk to you later, Daughter. I have unfinished business with your brother."

"Umm, Father?" Leia asked hesitantly. It felt very, very odd calling him that.

"Yes, Daughter?" He turned in the doorway to look back at her.

"Isn't the father of the bride supposed to pay for the wedding?"

To be continued….

Sorry that wasn't really funny, but I have some funny stuff planned for the next chapters. Also some surprises in store who Vader will talk to in future installments.