Sorry you had to wait a few days for the next chapter. I've been having a few electrical problems and will need up upgrade my whole electrical system (uggh!) soon. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I love them! I also have the next 2 chapters planned out and they'll be really funny! And now onto the next chapter!

THE SHRINK

The Imperial Shuttle landed in the huge bay, its wings folding up alongside its body. The doors hissed open and Lord Vader emerged through the billowing white smoke. A second, slightly shorter figure, also dressed in black, followed him.

"Father, is this really necessary?" Luke asked for what seemed the hundredth time as he walked down the shuttle's ramp onto the gleaming floor of the shuttle bay. "I'm fine. I don't need to see a shrink! Really!"

"You will do as I tell you, Son. It's for your own good." Vader stalked to the exit. He had decided to deal with this unexpected problem quickly. The sooner he got Luke's head straightened out, the better. Hopefully the Emperor wouldn't hear of this highly embarrassing matter. It wouldn't do well for it to spread around the Empire. He approached the nearest turbolift and went inside.

"Yes, Father." Luke followed Vader into the turbolift, turning so he could examine his father's mask. "I just wish you would believe me."

"I believe that you believe it, but that doesn't make it true." Darth Vader placed a black-gloved hand on Luke's shoulder. "Don't worry, Son. The ship's doctor will cure you of your delusions."

Luke remained silent.

The lift doors opened and Lord Vader stepped out. A few moments later he entered sickbay, stopping in front of the duty nurse's station. "I wish to see the doctor."

"Lord Vader!" The male nurse gasped, his eyes going wide in fright. "I'm sorry, My Lord, but the doctor isn't here."

"Well, call him then!" Vader ordered.

"I … I can't, My Lord! He fell ill and was hauled away in a straight jacket a few hours ago! He was screaming something awful. They say we are to pick up a new doctor on Coruscant."

"Drat! That's the seventh doctor I lost in as many months!"

"My Lord? Do you wish to see the droid doctor?" The nurse asked hesitantly.

"No, I will take care of it myself." Darth Vader turned around and left sickbay, his black cape billowing out behind him. What was wrong with those doctors? Why did they all end up the same way, being locked up in a rubber room after a month's service on his ship? Good medical care was almost impossible to find these days.

"What now?" Luke asked as he trailed after his father. Secretly, he was a bit relieved he wouldn't have to explain the whole matter to some strange doctor.

"You will see a doctor on Coruscant. Some of the Empire's finest physicians have offices there." Vader entered his private quarters and went directly to his transmitter. Standing before it, he placed his first call to a Dr. Ding that he found in the Coruscant Yellow Pages.

An image began to form before him of the doctor's office with a pretty young receptionist. Her eyes widened upon seeing him, her mouth forming a perfect little 'O'. Then a long slender finger jabbed at something and the image vanished.

"What happened?" Vader asked, confused.

"I think she hung up on you." Luke offered as he took a moment to look around his father's pristine quarters. There was little to see except the computer terminal.

"What? How dare she hang up on me!" Vader fumed, the red-hot anger swelling inside him. "I will find a different doctor, one that is more deserving of my business!"

"Father, that's not necessary." Luke tried to calm him down. "I'm fine. Really!"

"It is necessary!" Vader waved a finger at Luke's face. Satisfied that for the moment his son was obeying him, he called the next doctor in the book. And received another mysterious hang-up. Fuming even more than before, he called the third doctor. As soon as the doctor appeared, he shouted at him. "If you hang up on me, you'll suffer my wrath!"

The nervous-looking doctor gulped. "I … I'm sorry, but there's little I can do for you…"

"What?!"

"I … I'm just not skilled enough to help you. Although, if I may be allowed to say so, My Lord, you need it …"

"I'm not calling for myself!" Vader hissed angrily at the tri-dimensional image before him. "It's my son that needs help, not me!"

"Perhaps … an anger-management course …" The doctor wheezed, one hand going to his throat as he passed out onto the floor as Vader closed his hand around an imaginary neck.

"I will find you a different doctor!" Darth Vader growled as he dragged the monitor that held the Yellow Pages closer. There had to be a decent shrink in here somewhere.

Sighing, Luke lowered himself to an empty chair. This was going to take some time.

Hours later with more hang-ups than he could count and four dead shrinks, he reached the very last name in the category of shrinks. It was just simply the name 'Edmund" with a number. Nothing else. It didn't look very promising, but Vader was determined to get Luke the help he so desperately needed. Ordering the machine to place the call, he stood ready yet again.

An older human male with white, flyaway hair appeared dressed in a white lab coat. He looked up at Darth Vader. "Yes? What can I do for you?"

"I would like to make an appointment for my son." Vader said cautiously, expecting the doctor to make some rude comment or else to hang up. His hand flexed inside the glove, ready if need be.

"Very well. Come down to my office tomorrow and I'll see you and your son at two in the afternoon. May I ask what his problem is?"

Vader allowed a feeling of triumph to float through him. Finally, a doctor willing to take his case! Thank the Force! "He believes a ghost talks to him, but I believe he is suffering from a traumatic experience."

"Well, I'll give him some standard tests and talk to him tomorrow. We'll soon get to the cause of this." The doctor promised, a big smile on his face. "And your name is?"

"Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith."

"Hmmm …" the doctor scratched at his head. "Now why does that sound familiar?"

"Don't you know who I am?" Vader asked, shocked that the doctor didn't apparently know who he was. Perhaps this doctor wasn't the great deal that he first appeared to be. Unfortunately, he was the only remaining shrink in the book.

The doctor glanced down at the appointment he had just marked down in his book. "You told me you're Darth Vader. Are you suffering from memory problems, perhaps a touch of amnesia? Did you recently receive a bonk on the head?"

"NO!" Vader wanted to strangle this crazy doctor but dare not. He was the only one willing to see his son. And why was this doctor using an actual appointment book instead of a stylus and data pad?

"No what?" the doctor asked.

"No, I'm not suffering from memory problems!"

"Than why did you ask me who you are?"

"Everyone in the Empire knows who I am and even most outside the Empire. I am second behind Emperor Palpatine himself."

"Emperor, Emperor … Palpatine. Hmmm, name doesn't ring a bell." The doctor scratched at his white flyaway hair again. Suddenly a great racket of ringing bells could be heard coming from somewhere behind the doctor. The doctor turned his head to glance behind him. "Drat! I thought I fixed those darn clocks! Excuse me for a moment…"

The doctor picked up a long wooden bat and started bashing on the clocks behind him. Springs and gears flew through the air. The last clock fell silent and the doctor turned to face Vader, a grin on his face. "Sorry about that. Sometimes I forget what century I'm in. I'll see you tomorrow at two then. Have to go now. My first client just arrived!"

Vader watched as the doctor's image vanished. The man didn't exactly inspire confidence in the medical profession.

"Father, I don't have to see that guy tomorrow, do I? That guy's loonier than anyone I know! He doesn't even know what century it is!" Luke protested loudly.

HO-PAH. HO-PAH. HO-PAH.

Vader shook his finger at his unruly son. "You will see him tomorrow and we will see what he has to say. Until then, I strongly suggest you do as I tell you."

Luke sighed again. It was obvious nothing he would say would convince Vader otherwise.

A long moment passed.

"Perhaps I should check that doctor's license." Vader said as he turned to make another call. Just then the machine beeped and the white-haired doctor appeared again.

"Silly me, I forgot to give you my address!"

To be continued….

Hopefully that was funny! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!