Disclaimer: All right, what do I own here... the random story idea (I think I need to cut down on the caffeine), the random new chick, and... I think that's about it. Oh, and I don't hate Morgan, but sometimes he really annoys me. Like when he's mocking poor Spence. Oh, and I don't actually know how old Spence is, or when his birthday is, so I made it up.

It was a normal day at the B.A.U. headquarters. Except that everything was quiet and nobody was arguing or mocking anybody else. And there was no case to investigate. All in all, it was a very non-normal day at the B.A.U. headquarters.

"Hey," Derek said, tossing a ball of paper to himself over and over again. "What was it that Gideon was saying earlier about some new person?"

"That we're getting one? That's about all I can tell you." Hotch leaned back in his chair, placing his feet up on the desk.

"Her name is Christina Hutchinson." Spencer said, drawing the attention of the other two agents. "Her uncle's a higher-up in the FBI and she's coming here straight out of school."

"Great," Derek said bitterly, "She'll probably turn out to be one of those prissy chicks who expect everything to be handed to them just because her uncle's in a power position."

"Now now, Derek, you could be totally wrong about her." Hotch said with a smirk. "She could turn out to be someone who knows what they're talking about. Unlike some members of this unit that I could name." he shot a pointed look at Derek, who ignored him.

"Why don't we refrain from passing judgment until we've met her?" Spencer suggested. The others reluctantly agreed.

Many more minutes passed in silence.

"So, I'd say she's a bit late, then, huh?" Derek commented snidely.

"Come on, Morgan, cut her some slack, will you? Her car could have broken down or something."

At that moment, Gideon entered the room, followed by a teenage-looking girl.

"Or her mommy couldn't drive her." Derek said softly, hiding behind his desk to mask his laughter.

"Everyone, this is our new addition to the team, Christina Hutchinson. Christina, Agents Hotchner and Morgan, and Dr. Reid." Gideon pointed to each member in turn. They all nodded politely, except for Derek, who was still attempting to control his laughter. "I expect you'll all play nicely now."

"Of course, sir." The newcomer smiled sweetly.

"Good." With that, Gideon exited the room, leaving the members of the B.A.U. to become acquainted.

"Well, this is going well." Christina commented after a moment of silence. The others nodded in agreement, but did nothing to change it. Eventually, Spencer spoke.

"So, Christina-"

"Tina."

"What?"

"Call me Tina, not Christina. My full name annoys me."

"Okay. So, Tina, where did you go to school?" Hotch and Derek rolled their eyes, knowing full well that there was nothing Spencer loved more than knowledge.

"Stanford. Psychology major, but then again, aren't we all?"

The comment was met with varying degrees of agreement.

"Have you ever dealt with criminals before, uh, Tina?" Hotch asked.

"Only if you count the ones in my family." Tina smirked. "Just kidding, but no, really, I did an internship at a psychiatric facility where it was my job to determine if the people there were competent to stand trial."

"Really?" Spencer looked interested. "Did you enjoy that?"

Tina shrugged.

"I guess. But I always wanted to do something more, you know? Like, catch the criminals instead of dealing with them after they're already caught."

"So uncle-dearest got you a job at the FBI?" Derek asked, looking skeptical.

Tina shot him a glare.

"Ha ha, no. My uncle has nothing to do with why I'm here. In fact, the last time I even talked to him was at my elementary school graduation. So get it out of your heads that I'm only here because of who my family is."

The comment was met with silence that remained many minutes longer. Tina decided to break it again.

"Anybody up for a little gambling? We could head out, hit the slots, make a night of it."

"Are you even old enough to gamble?" Derek asked skeptically. Tina ignored him and continued.

"Dr. Reid? How 'bout it? You, me, your superior intellect making me a very rich girl...?"

Spencer looked at his shoes, mumbling incoherently under his breath.

"O...kay. Agent Hotchner? Come on, what'd ya say? It'll be fun."

Before Aaron had the chance to respond, Derek interrupted, always to pit-bull with a bone he couldn't let go of.

"Really, how old are you?"

Tina shot him a dirty look.

"Don't you know it's impolite to ask a lady her age?"

"I thought you were never supposed to ask about their weight." Spencer commented.

"That too." Tine said, a faint tinge coloring her cheeks. "So, back to what I was saying-"

"Come on, just one thing," Derek broke in. "At least tell us if you're younger than the good doctor here." He gestured to Spencer, who immediately busied himself with some papers on his desk.

"Depends," Tina smirked, an impish look in her eye, "How old is he?"

"Reid, how old are you?" Derek asked bluntly.

"Twenty four." Spencer muttered, a blush rising to his cheeks.

"Um..." Tina's gaze scanned the room, falling on everything except the expectant agent. "When?"

Spencer was silent for a moment until he realized the question was directed at him.

"April twenty fourth," he replied quietly.

"April twenty fourth," Derek repeated, turning his attention back to Tina.

"I'm not deaf," she snapped in response. "And to answer your question, he's older than me."

Derek looked triumphant. Then Hotch opened his mouth.

"By how much?"

The cheerful look dropped off the agent's face faster than an ice cube disintegrating on the sun.

"Four months and three days." Tina muttered, looking embarrassed.

"Nooo!" Derek howled. He slammed a fist against one of the the hard, steel desks in frustration. The cry of failure quickly morphed into one of extreme pain.

The other members of the B.A.U. rolled their eyes.

"So!" Tina said cheerfully, shifting the attention off the wounded agent. "Who wants to go out later?"

"Nobody's going anywhere for a while." Gideon entered the fray.

"We get something?" Hotch asked, the other crowding around their leader, waiting for more information. Well, the others minus Derek, that is.

"Gideon!" he exclaimed morosely. "Please tell me this- this-" he gesticulated madly toward Tina "-person is younger than she says!"

While other people would have merely stared at him for such a question, Gideon did not.

"If the 'person' you are referring to if Agent Hutchinson, she will be twenty five years of age on the twenty seventh of August, in the year 2006." he ignored his underling's utterance of dismay and continued as if nothing had happened. "The Palumbos. Nice, upstanding family, moved here recently from Pennsylvania, mother's a chef at Villardi's, father's an accountant. Two kids, ages six and nine, boy and girl. Presents as a murder/homicide, except for one thing - suicides typically don't chop off their own hands."

The group winced simultaneously, muttering different variations of "Ouch."

"I'll get the car," Hotch said, reaching for his jacket.

"No, you won't." Gideon proclaimed, shooting Hotch a look. "I want Reid and Hutchinson on this one."

The declaration was met by three different voices exclaiming, "But Gideon!"

"Gideon, did you forget what happened the last time Reid was sent to do something on his own? He almost got himself killed!" Hotch exclaimed. Then, he turned to Spencer. "No offense."

"Offense taken." Spencer murmured almost silently. He was ignored as Derek jumped in.

"Gideon, you can't be serious! Hutchinson's had no field experience and wonder-boy here's definitely not the best one to be teaching her! Sorry, Reid." Derek's apology was rather delayed. Before either Spencer or Gideon had the chance to reply, Tina interjected.

"Sir, as much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Agent Morgan. I pretty much have no idea what to do and... Wouldn't it be better if I observed a case before taking on one of my own?"

"Gideon. And you won't be on your own. Dr. Reid will be with you."

"Like Agents Hotchner and Morgan have stated, with all due respect, sir, I'm not sure if that's the best idea. I mean, what if we run into trouble? Dr. Reid hardly seems one to know what to do in a crisis. Sir." The formality was added almost as an afterthought.

"Well, hopefully, that won't happen, but if it does, I thin you'll be fine. Spencer's gun-handling capabilities have improved tremendously-"

"Yeah, except that I was aiming for his leg..."

"-And your results from the shooting range were exceptional for someone who hasn't been doing field work for the past four years."

Tina gave a tiny, thin-lipped smile.

"What's the address?" she asked, tugging the keys from Hotch's hand.

"76 Fairview Drive." Gideon gave them an appraising look. "And to answer your question, I'd rather have you go out and develop your own method of profiling than take the time to learn someone else's. And besides, Reid needs to learn to take care of himself instead of letting everyone else protect him." At this statement, Spencer turned a spectacular shade of red and turned for the door. "Consider it a learning experience."

Tina moved to follow him.

" 'Learning experience.' Yeah, right."