Mara Jade

"Wow! I had no idea Leia could be so tough!" Luke murmured as they exited Palpatine's private room, entering Sickbay's main area. "She just clobbered him!"

"She apparently has my bad temper." Vader admitted to his son. "I always had a hard time controlling my emotions and sometimes they got away on me. It's how I ended up on the Dark Side. Be glad you don't share that trait as well."

"So I get to call Mara now, right?" Luke asked his father hopefully.

"Yes, as soon as I go inform the doctor about the Emperor's broken leg. He will not be pleased." Vader stopped outside McCoy's office and turned to face his son. "Go wait by Obi-Wan. You can make the call from my private quarters in a few moments."

"Yes, Father." Luke watched Vader disappear into the doctor's office. He couldn't help but wonder how long the conversation would take. Now that the time to actually speak to Mara was approaching, he found himself getting nervous. What would he say to her? What would she say to him? More important, would he actually be able to say something besides a simple HI? The young Jedi couldn't help but remember the last time he had tried to talk to that girl at the club and his mind had gone blank. What if that happened when he tried to ask Mara out? He'd look like a total idiot and he certainly didn't want to appear that way! No girl wanted to date an idiot!

Shaking his head at the negative thoughts to dislodge them, he spotted Yoda. The tiny Jedi Master was still sitting in the center of Sickbay's floor. Why he was still there Luke had no idea. His eyes were closed, so perhaps he was sleeping. Luke approached him quietly.

"Question you have, I sense. Ask, you may." Yoda's eyes opened and he looked up at Luke. "Place, I do need. Meet, the Council must. No place, do we have. Exchange wisdoms, perhaps we can?"

"Umm…" Luke paused a moment, trying to switch Yoda's phrases around in his head. "You need a place for the Jedi Council to meet?"

"That, I already said."

"OK. Well, maybe you can meet where I'm staying now. It's big and there are lots of rooms. I'm sure they'll be enough space for all the Jedi there." Luke offered to the green Jedi Master. "Han and Leia are staying there, too."

"Pleased, I am." Yoda smiled at Luke. "Generous, you are. With training, Jedi you be. Ask, what you seek."

"Ummm…" Luke hesitated again, unsure. "Well, I have this problem speaking to women. Whenever I try to talk to one, I get nervous, my mind goes blank and I turn all red! It's embarrassing! Do you have any advice on what I can do about it?"

"Hmmmmm…" Yoda considered the problem, his green ears tilting downward. "Odd problem, this is. Never encountered it, have I."

"Well, you must have some idea of what I can do!" Luke encouraged, desperate now as the time for calling Mara on the com was approaching.

"Sing, you can?" Yoda asked.

"Sure, I guess. Why?" Luke knelt down in front of Yoda so he could look the Jedi Master in the eyes. "What does singing have to do with anything?"

"Nervous you get, sing you will." Yoda smiled proudly at Luke, his ears wiggling in delight. He was quite pleased with his reply and it hadn't required the normal hours upon hours of meditation, either. Besides, Yoda liked to sing in the shower. But since that one time Yoda electrocuted himself and lost most of his hair, he was most careful to keep the radio far from the water. Yes, water and electric were a bad combination.

"You want me to SING to a girl?!" Luke's face reddened in utter horror. "Why, that'd be even worse than talking to one!"

"Sing, is easy. Memorize words, you do." Yoda replied matter-of-factly. "Music and lyrics, females like."

"Oh." Luke grew a bit calmer. Maybe it wasn't as hard as it sounded. All he would have to do is memorize the words to some song. That didn't sound too bad. Surely if he could swing a lightsaber around he could memorize a few words, right? "Did you ever go out with a girl?"

"Where, out?" Yoda peered up at Luke, waiting for a reply.

"You know, on a date."

"Dates, I go not." The Jedi Master told him. "Required, much bravery is. Hmmmm, dangerous they are!"

Luke laughed. "Master Yoda, going on a date isn't dangerous! Surely it'll be a lot of fun!"

"Ever go on date, did you?" Yoda asked.

"Well, no. Not yet." Luke admitted sheepishly.

"Once, I did. Padawan, I was. Pretty, female was. Almost killed me, it did." Yoda closed his eyes as he thought back. "Odd club, we went to. No tables, did it have. Wheeled boots, they gave. Onto smooth floor, we went. Fell, I did. Trip over me, others do. Squashed, I became. Almost died, I did."

"So just because the first date went bad you never went on another?" Luke was surprised that the Jedi Master had given up so easily. "And I never heard of boots with wheels on them. That just sounds stupid!"

"Fad, it was." Yoda replied. "Worse part, I didn't tell."

"What? Something even worse happened on the date?" Luke leaned forward eagerly. He couldn't imagine what it could be. What could be worse than getting squashed by a bunch of aliens much bigger than you were?

"Kiss me, she did!" Yoda twisted his face up, his ears drooping way down with the tips turning purple.

"Kiss?" Luke's blue eyes widened as the idea sunk in. "Wait… you mean girls actually expect you to KISS them?!"

"Expected, it is."

Luke swayed, as the room seemed to spin around him crazily. Mara would expect him to KISS her? Why, he couldn't even TALK to her! "I better practice a song!"

"Brave, you be." Yoda peered at Luke. "You end in Sickbay, card I will send."

"Geez, thanks!" Luke rose and walked towards where Obi-Wan was waiting for him. The Jedi was sitting on a chair reading a data pad. Sitting down in the chair next to the older Jedi, Luke glanced at him hopefully.  "Do you know any songs?"

"Songs?" Obi-Wan put the pad down and turned to face Luke. "Well, I think I know a few. Why?"

"Master Yoda thinks I should learn a few."

"I guess I could teach you a few…" Obi-Wan grinned. Luke was much easier going than his former Padawan had been. He was sure they would get along just great! Clearing his throat, he prepared to teach his new apprentice a few choice lyrics.

*.*.*.*.*

"What do you mean his leg is broken?" McCoy demanded angrily. "How in the heck did that happen?"

"I believe he was attacked." Vader replied calmly.

"Well, why didn't you stop the perpetrator?"

"It was a female." The Sith Lord explained.

"OH! Well, that explains it. I guess I better go fix his leg then." McCoy stood up and walked around his desk, heading for the office door.

"Doctor, if you have a moment?" Vader watched the doctor carefully, his mind reaching out like prying fingers to take a peek inside the other's head. But the Sith Lord's curiosity only increased when he encountered strong mental shields. They seemed out of place on a man with no Force abilities, but then, McCoy wasn't your ordinary physician. "How exactly did you bring the dead Jedi back to life?"

"I was wondering when someone was going to ask about that." McCoy admitted. "I just used a Genesis device I got from Regula One."

"And you have more of these devices?" Vader asked, standing between the doctor and the door.

"Sorry, I don't. I only had the one." McCoy waited patiently for Vader to move out of the way. But the Sith Lord made no motions to move. "Well, are you going to stand there all day? I got a broken leg to mend!"

"And where is Regula One?" Vader was determined to learn as much as he could about this unknown device the doctor had used. The information could prove useful. "I never heard of that planet."

McCoy rolled his pale blue eyes and snatched the protoplaster off his desk. "It's a deep space research station in the Matara sector, not a planet! And you're wasting your time asking me about Genesis. I have no knowledge. The guy that built it was Jim's son and he's dead. Besides, Genesis is a failure."

With that, McCoy squeezed his way past Vader and hurried into Palpatine's room.

A failure? How could a device that brings the dead back to life be considered a failure?

*.*.*.*.*

"Here we are." Vader said to his son as the three of them entered Vader's personal quarters. The Sith Lord pointed to the com that sat on his desk. "You may go call Mara. Here is her private number."

Luke took the pad that had Mara's private number on it and gulped nervously. This would be a lot harder than he had thought!

*.*.*.*.*

Mara Jade relaxed in the round marble tub up to her neck in bubbles. For the moment, she had no assignment so she was spending her free time enjoying herself. The Emperor had gone up to see Lord Vader on Executor so unless she received a call from the ship, there was nothing for her to worry about. Closing her eyes, she sunk deeper into the sweet-scented bubble bath.

BEEP!

At the sound, Mara's eyes flew open. Someone was calling her on her private line. Only a select few knew the code for that line, so the call must be important. Heaving herself out of the bath, Mara rushed out of the bath towards the com as possible scenarios raced through her mind. Had something happened to her Master? Did Palpatine have a new target for her? She groaned at the messy trail of water and soap she was making through her apartment, but what else could she do? Her Master needed her. Reaching the com, she keyed it for voice only. "Yes?"

There was no reply, just the slight crackling of the open line.

"Hello?" Mara asked, confused. Who would call her on the private line and then not say anything?

CLICK!

Mara stared at the com, confused. The person had hung up on her! Turning, she spotted the wet trail on the floor and swore in ten different languages.

*.*.*.*

"My mind went blank!" Luke whined. "I heard her voice and all coherent thought went out of my head!"

Vader groaned and held his mask in his black-gloved hands. His son was utterly hopeless!

"Call her back!" Obi-Wan advised. "You can't expect to get things right on the first attempt!"

"Are you sure?" Luke stared at the com as if it were a dangerous animal about to bite him.

"Just call her!" Vader demanded.

*.*.*.*.*

Mara had just got her floor cleaned and settled back into her relaxing bath when a sound interrupted her for the second time.

BEEP!

"Now what is it?" Mara yelled angrily as she hauled her soaking wet body out of the bath and hurried to the com, leaving another wet trail through her apartment. She hit the voice only button and barked into it. "Yes?"

Once again there was no reply.

Mara checked the number the call was coming from and saw it originated onboard the Executor. "Who is this?"

CLICK!

The Emperor's Hand glared at her com in fury. Someone was playing infantile pranks on her, but how did they get her private number? Sighing, she turned away. She had only taken three steps when the com sounded again.

BEEP!

"Hello? This is Mara Jade."

CLICK!

A few silent moments passed.

BEEP!

"Mara here. Who is this?"

CLICK!

Mara pulled up a chair and sat down in front of the com, water still dripping onto the floor. She was determined to find out who the heck was calling her even if it took all day! Could there be some problem aboard Executor?

BEEP!

"Yes?"

CLICK!

BEEP!

"Please say something!" Mara demanded.

"Ummm…. Hi?" a voice stuttered from the com.

Mara was so shocked at hearing a voice finally that she practically fell off her chair. "Well, you can speak after all and it only took you sixty-three com calls, too! What's the message?"

"Ummm…."

"Just spit it out!" Mara demanded. What type of idiot was Palpatine using these days to send her messages?

"Ahhh…"

"What's the matter with you?" Mara asked, growing angrier. She heard some rustling in the background, then what sounded like a pad being turned on. Great, the guy had to read the message because he had forgotten it! Where did Palpatine find these idiots? And why have a messenger call her at all? He or Lord Vader usually did it. Nor was it one of the Commanders of Executor, because Mara knew all their voices. It was part of her training as the Hand to know such things.

"Love… Love is a many splendored thing…"

"WHAT?!" Mara's mouth dropped open as she stared at the con. Someone was SINGING!! What kind of call was this?

"Love lifts us up where we belong…." The voice sang at her.

"Who is this?" Mara yelled at the com, her soaking wet red hair trailing down her back.

"All you need is Love….!!!" The voice crooned from the com. "Love lifts us up where we belong, where eagles fly on a mountain high…."

"This is ridiculous!" Mara said as she snatched her bathrobe and tied it around herself. Flipping the com to visual, she was startled to see Skywalker standing in Vader's private quarters crooning to her! "Skywalker! What do you think you're doing?!"

Luke's blue eyes widened as he realized Mara could see him now. His face began to take on a reddish tone, his bottom jaw dropped several inches and his eyes bugged out. "Aahhhhh…"

"Not THAT again!" Mara didn't know what to do about this stupid problem. Skywalker just kept calling her! If she hung up on him he'd just call back again and again and again. And since it was her private line, she couldn't just pull the wire out, either. No, Palpatine might need to call her. "What do you WANT?"

"We should be lovers…!"

Mara scowled. Great, just great! Skywalker had some crush on her and was singing some dumb song from years and years ago! "I'm going to get you for this, Skywalker! Just you wait until I get up there!"

The Emperor's Hand punched the com off so hard her finger hurt, then marched to her bedroom to get dressed. She would go up to Executor and teach Skywalker a few lessons!

To be continued…

Author's Note: The song is from Ewan's movie, "Moulin Rouge". Sorry, I couldn't resist. Hee-hee.