Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
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A/N: YAY YAY YAY! Today is my b-day!! I so happy! I got cookies from Emily, and a total of $35 (so far) and also my friend Samantha got me shampoo, chocolate, and body wash things... my other not-so-close friend, Brittany says she takes it as a sign that I stink... grr... not nice on my birthday.
Date(s): December 3rd, 2004! MY BIRTHDAY!!
Mood: I'm feeling great. It's all gravy (as Emily would say).
Music: Inuyasha Episode 120: Farewell! A Requiem to Jakotsu! (Awww...)
I'm changing Current Stuff to Countdowns!
Countdowns:
19 days until December 22nd, when Inuyasha new season comes to adult swim!
0 days for my birthday!
1 day 'til I start my first job!
22 days until Christmas!
Quote: It's all gravy! (by: emily! YAY! thanks for the cookies!)
Random Facts:
1) During the Edo Period of Japan, people were hired to take the blame for farts.
2) There is a frog that meows.
Ooh by the way I want you guys to say this really fast:
I'm a we Todd.
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Love Pentagon
Chapter Nine
Frustration Towards Assholes
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"Where's Inuyasha? I thought you two had gotten pretty close!" Sango said, raising her eyebrows.
"He's over there with Sukey," I sneered.
Once again, Inuyasha totally ditched me. I couldn't believe it. After what he did yesterday, you would think that he'd want to be better friends with me. But I guess not. I guess I'm not as good as Sukey.
This just totally made me whole day crappy. I mean, I thought he actually cared about me. I thought he even loved me. He said so. That jerk.
Neither I nor Sango could believe he did that. Retard.
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XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: hey kagome
Kitichan04: oh so NOW u wanna talk
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: wats that supposed to mean??
Kitichan04: u totally mistreated me today! last night u tell me u love me but 2day u totally blow me off what is up with that?!
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: im sry
Kitichan04: ive heard it b4 inuyasha im pissed at u
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: im sry what more u want me 2 do?!
Kitichan04: i want u 2 stop hanging around sukey so much u act like u like her when u have a gf already and now that were on that subject i dont think u should be sayin that u love me
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: but i cant hide true feelings
Kitichan04: bullcrap ur just playing me
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: no im not kagome i love u i swear ur hott
Kitichan04: im hott?!
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: yeah u know kouga of course he and i agree (even tho we hate eachother) that u have a nice ass
Kitichan04: ?!
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: its true!
Kitichan04: umm... thx??
Kitichan04: i dunno what 2 say
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: then dont say anything
Kitichan04: ur not helping!! im trying to make a point that its wrong 2 flirt with other women when ur already goin out with kikyo!
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: well im trying 2 say that i cant hold in my feelings 4 u
Kitichan04: whatever im gonna go
XGoAwayYourAnAnnoyanceX: i love u
Kitichan04: save it
Kitichan04 signed off at 4:45:20 PM
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Can you blame me? I mean, after all he said and did, you'd think he'd be more caring and stuff. But no. That's why I was so pissed off at him. Stupid asshole.
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The next day, Yumi and I were left out at recess, both feeling depressed. She just broke up with her boyfriend, that she never wanted to go out with in the first place, and he exploded at her. She burst into tears and we both sat there, being bored and sad.
"Don't worry, Yumi. I'm still her for you! BUBBLE BUDDY!!" Bubble buddy was a thing. Let's see. We were in gym and we were talking about "self space" which is our own little box that no one, and I mean no one, is aloud in. That's so we keep out hands to ourselves.
She said "You're in my self space."
And then I said, "We share the same bubble!"
So ever since then, we've been bubble buddies. So yeah.
Back to the story now.
"Let me be your theripist," she said, grabbing a notebook and pen.
"Okay!" I said. We were bored.
"So how do you feel about this situation with Sukey?" she asked. She was a good threapist even though she was only playing.
"I...I.." I began. I didn't exactly think about it until now.
"You what, Kagome?"
"I hate her... I mean, I never liked her in the first place but now that she's done this... I just... I hate her!" I said rather loudly. I hoped no one would hear because things like that could spread all around the school (and eventually to the person you're talking about) in less than a half-hour.
"I knew it. I don't really like her that much, but I'll talk to her and stuff," Yumi said, writing notes in her note-book. I think she thought this whole thing was all play and it wasn't real at all. But not me. It opened my eyes to my true feelings.
"Me too..." I said, thinking of what to say next. But the bell rang and I stood up, ready to go to gym class.
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Later That Night
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Later that night, I felt so frustrated. My mom kept calling me to help her with stuff and I couldn't do anything right because too much was on my mind.
"God! I'm not your slave, Mom! Why can't you get Souta to do it?! I mean, he is 12!"
"He's too small and he was born premature. He can't do it," she said calmly. That just got me more mad.
"My god!! I can't believe you! I'm not eating dinner!" I said, throwing the plates down on the table I was setting and headed upstairs for my room. It was time for some poetry.
Feelings
You go to see her
You leave me here
I'm sure what's coming
Is exactly what I fear
You laugh and smile
You leave me in the dust
But you know what's pathetic?
You're still the only one I can trust
You say I'm hott
And say you'll always be there
But then you leave me for her
It's just not fair
You say you love me
But you say you love her, too
So which one is it?
Which love is really true?
Meant to Be
You're always together
It's meant to be
Walking down corridors
It's meant to be
Sitting at lunch, playing footsie
It's meant to be
Laughing it up in study halls
It's meant to be
Sharing "moments" on the internet
It's meant to be
But what about me?
I crumpled up the last one. It sucked.
I flopped on my bed. My god. There was no one here for me.
My mom and Souta were no help. My mom didn't ever like Inuyasha from the start but now she was starting to, and I didn't tell her that I liked him again. Because she'd flip. And Souta never even met him.
Inuyasha himself. I told him all I could. But I knew he wouldn't be happy when I tell him that I really and truly hated Sukey.
Sango. She liked Inuyasha, too. It was going to be ugly.
Mika wasn't here.
Yumi thinks its play.
And everyone else doesn't know. Well, Yumi doesn't know that I like Inuyasha, but still.
I was so confused. My stomach was telling me to feed it, but I refused. I wanted to make myself sick so I wouldn't be able to go to school the next day. But I fell asleep before I could do the plan I was plotting in my head. Suicide.
My dreams were telling me things. They were showing me my future. Cuts. Everywhere. Up my arms, spelling out words and curses, and guys I liked. Tears of blood streamed down my face and I had no teeth, no hair. Nothing. And I'd killed anyone who'd hurt me.
Suicidal attacks put me in a mental assylum. I sat in a small room with my therapist. No, it wasn't Yumi. I'd killed her. I ended up in jail for the murders, too. So I sat there, looking at my scars. Looking into my fingernails that were shards of glass and only seeing my reflection. A reflection of a young girl who had gone crazy and tore out her hair and ears so she'd feel cold and so she wouldn't hear anything. Nothing but Inuyasha's name inside her head. Saying it over and over again. Silent screams escaped my mouth and I awoke.
No, suicide was not the answer. And nothing was. So I decided the only thing to do was to keep up this mask I was wearing and bear the torture I was being put through.
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A/N: woooaaaahhh now can you all see what I've been going through? Since school began? WOW IT IS HARD (and when you see the situation I'm in now you'll be surprised...)!! Does anyone actually read these author's notes? Even Sinubi? Do you read 'em, Sin-san? Maybe I'm just writing them to tell myself how I really feel. WOW! That was actually the kind of purpose of this fanfic I figured out. Just so I know the kind of pain I'm actually going through, but I, myself, don't even realize it.
Chapter Previews!!
"Oi, Kagome! Kikyo told me she wants to be friends again," Inuyasha said, telling me first period health.
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"So, do you and Sango want to come trick-or-treating in my neighboor hood with us?" Kikyo asked.
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"OMIGOD!! INUYASHA IS WEARING MAKE-UP!!!" I said, spitting my ramen out.