And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, presenting for your entertainment...

Red Witch's Misfits

Yes, the Misfits are back in this second installment of the groundbreaking new trilogy by The Mighty Floyd! Thrill to the excitement! Feel the wonder! Embrace the passion! Take pictures of Pietro dancing like a drunken llama! All this and more can you find in this wondrous tale known as...

Misfits In Space

Written by The Mighty Floyd

Special thanks to Red Witch for use of the Misfits, and to L1701E for introducing me to them in the first place.

Warning: I am familiar only with selected episodes of Season 1 of X-Men: Evolution and one GI Joe movie, so if these characters seem a little off, that's the reason.

Disclaimer: XE characters belong to Marvel. GI Joe characters belong to someone, possibly also Marvel. Misfits created by Red Witch, who also owns Althea, Trinity, Xi, and General Whithalf (who has to be my favorite supporting character). I own any and all new characters appearing in this story.

And now, with no further ado, on to our tale...

Chapter 1: "I Need a Vacation!"

The Pit, Three Months after the events of Misfits In Time...

"Now what?" asked General Hawk wearily, as he rubbed his eyes tiredly with his left hand. In his right, he held a pen, poised over a thick stack of papers, all of which needed to be filled out and filed. In fact, most of them should have been filled out and filed long ago. He was pretty sure that some of the papers in the pile were from as far back as 1987. He really didn't like doing paperwork.

"Well," began Beach Head, "they've sunk to a new low! They kidnapped Sgt. Snuffles and held him for ransom in the laundry room! They told me that I either had to give them a week's worth of Mello Dew, or they would give Sgt. Snuffles a 'detergent bath'!"

"Did you do it?" inquired Hawk.

"No, sir," answered Beach Head. "They're still in there waiting for my reply. Please, get back Sgt. Snuffles unharmed!"

Hawk sighed. "All right," he told the agitated Joe. "We'll get your bear back. Anything to get out of signing all these requisitions."

He stood, and followed Beach Head out of his office. Together, they made their way to the laundry room. On the way, they came across Roadblock and Low Light, who were sparring.

"The kids are at it again," Hawk told them. Roadblock groaned.

"What did they do this time?" he asked. "What is their latest crime?"

"They stole Beach Head's bear again," Hawk pointed at the masked Joe with his thumb.

"Kidnapped!" yelled Beach Head. "And he's not just a bear! He's my friend!"

"Right." Hawk rolled his eyes. "Anyway, they've got him in the laundry room."

"They sent me a note with a picture of his tied up over one of the machines!" Beach Head told them.

"Remind me why we don't just confine them to the house?" Low Light groaned.

"You want to put up with them all the time?" Roadblock asked.

"Good point," replied the other Joe handler.

Roadblock and Low Light were two of the handlers for the mutant team known as the Misfits, along with fellow Joes Shipwreck, Cover Girl, and Spirit. They lived with the team in a modified house, and trained them on the base. The Misfits were... an interesting group. Todd "Toad" Tolensky, Lance "Avalanche" Alvers, Fred "Blob" Dukes, and Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff had been the original members of the Brotherhood, a mutant team working for the terrorist Magneto. Wanda "Scarlet Witch" Maximoff had joined them not long before they split off from Magneto after he had tried to kill Todd. The Joes found them and took them in. They joined some mutant kids already living on the base. Althea "Wavedancer" Delgado was the teenage daughter of Shipwreck. She had three sisters, now twelve, named Brittany, Daria, and Quinn. Together, the three were known as "Trinity". She also had a baby brother named Claudius, and an adopted baby brother named Barnell, Barney, or "Baby Beak", depending on who you asked. Later, the team was expanded by Xi, a mutant genetically engineered by the evil organization Cobra to be an assassin, and the human recruit Arcade, a genius inventor who had been in high school with the Brotherhood. With Althea as leader, the Misfits were GI Joe's ultimate weapon and the bane of their existence at times. In other words, teenagers.

Now, Roadblock and Low Light joined Hawk and Beach Head on their way to confront the kids.

They reached the laundry room. Todd peaked his head out. "Do you have the Mello Dew?" he called.

"No!" Beach Head called back. "I have General Hawk!"

"Oops!" gulped Todd, and he hurriedly pulled back into the room. The four adults could hear a rapid conversation inside the room. Then, Todd poked his head back out.

"All right, new deal! Let us go without being punished, and Sgt. Snuffles is returned unharmed!" He pulled his head back in again.

"You can't just let them go!" Beach Head exclaimed to Hawk. "Tell them you agree, and then punish them when I get back Sgt. Snuffles!"

Hawk sighed. "I can't do that," he told Beach Head. "If I tell them we won't punish them, I'll be held to my word."

"Looks like this is the only way to get your bear back," snickered Low Light.

Beach Head turned on him. "He's not just a bear!" he shouted.

Roadblock put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "He didn't mean it like that," he told the agitated Joe. "You know that. But to get the Sgt., you have to free the kids. It won't be a big deal. Don't flip your lid."

Beach Head deflated. "All right," he said. "They win this time."

"We agree to your terms," Hawk called in to the room. "Release Sgt. Snuffles, and none of you will be punished."

The four waited for a long moment, and then the door opened wide. Sgt. Snuffles came out, attached to the end of a long broom. Beach Head grabbed the stuffed bear, and cuddled it to his chest.

"Are you all right?" he crooned to it. "Did the big meanies hurt you? You'll be okay now. Yes, you will. You'll be okay."

"Wish we could say the same about you," grinned Low Light. Beach Head glared at him.

"Now make Beach Head go away before we come out!" called Todd from inside the room. Beach Head started to protest, but Hawk cut him off.

"We made a deal with them, remember?" he told the Joe. "You got back Sgt. Snuffles, so you can go now."

Beach Head grumbled under his breath, but he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, the culprits came out of the laundry room. They were, to the complete lack of surprise of the adults, Todd, Xi, and Althea.

"Remember, we have a deal," Althea told the adults.

"We know," Roadblock told her.

"You kids really have to stop tormenting Beach Head all the time," Hawk told them sternly. Then he grinned. "Although I have to admit, you're starting to get a little less imaginative. A 'detergent bath'?"

Althea shrugged. "After the murder trial, we couldn't figure out a way to keep topping ourselves," she explained. "So, we decided to go back to basics."

"Well, at least stay out of his way for the next couple of days," Hawk told them.

"All right," Althea replied. The kids took off, leaving the three adults standing outside the room.

Hawk shook his head. "Those kids are going to start giving me grey hair soon if this keeps up," he groaned.

Low Light nodded. "I know what you mean. We're around these kids all the time. It's getting to the point where I need a vacation!"

An evil smile formed on Hawk's lips. Low Light suddenly looked nervous. "Uh, oh..."

"That's a wonderful idea," smirked Hawk. "Why don't you all take the kids on vacation? Far away from this base!"

"But where would we go?" asked Roadblock. "We're banned from all the places we know."

"I've got the perfect place," grinned Hawk. "It's in Florida."

"We're already banned from anywhere with 'Disney' in the name," Low Light reminded him.

"I wasn't thinking of you going there..."

Next time: Where are the Misfits off to now? If you think about it, it should be fairly obvious. What hijinx will they get up to? Probably the same as usual. "How much damage will they cause? See answer two. Tune in again, for chapter two of Misfits In Space!

Roll call:

The Misfits: Althea Delgado, Todd Tolensky, Lance Alvers, Fred Dukes, Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Xi, Arcade, Trinity.

GI Joe: General Hawk, Beach Head, Roadblock, Low Light, Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Spirit.

Aliens: The Yardans, the Morons.