Your Star
A/n: Okay, so this one is going to be longer than the ones that came before it. But I'm sure y'all won't mind… Oh, and I made a typo in the last chapter. Cragen's last words are supposed to be "You don't disobey orders," not "order." Sorry about that!
"Olivia, why do you think you're going to become your mother?" Huang asked her.
"I never said that," she replied.
"But it's what you meant, isn't it?"
"Every girl turns into her mother when she has kids of her own," Olivia answered.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"I don't know. I have no idea why I think I'm going to turn into her. For all I know, I could end up being my father!" she said. She stared down at her shoes, tears forming in her eyes.
"That's the real problem, isn't it? It's not that you're afraid you're going to be like them, it's that you don't know what to expect," Huang told her. She nodded as he reached out and touched her hand. "Olivia, you've already proved that you're better than them. You're a cop. You hardly ever drink… you're so far from being anything like your parents. It's your decision what type of mother you'll be… genes don't matter."
"I don't know how to be a mother. Or a wife. I screwed up royally the first time around," she said. Huang shook his head.
"No, Liv, you didn't. You didn't get a chance to be either of those things. Not really. None of that was your fault."
"George, that's the exact same thing we tell every rape victim who comes through here," she replied.
"Why do you tell them that?" he asked.
"Because it's true for them."
"Then why not for you?"
"Because I had a choice. I could have left him," she replied.
"You were going to, weren't you?" he asked.
"Yes. But I sat there and let him keep it up for over a year," she reminded him.
"And some rape victims don't report for months. Some children are abused by their father or mother for years before they admit it. Does that make it their own fault?" he asked.
"Of course not," she replied.
"Then why does that make it your fault?"
"Because I'm a cop!"
"You weren't a cop when this happened, Olivia. Even if you had been, it still wouldn't have been your fault," he said. Olivia stood up and walked over to the window that looked out over the bullpen.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said. George watched her as she stared down at everyone.
"Olivia, I'm not going to lie to Captain Cragen. I think you should talk to someone about all of this," he told her.
"I'm not crazy, George," she replied.
"I never said you were. You've been through a lot lately, Liv. No matter how strong you think you are, you know this is hurting you. No one can handle something like this alone," he told her. He got up and walked up behind her. He could tell she was beginning to cry. "I know you don't believe me, but you need help with this Olivia."
"I just can't take it all again," she replied.
"It'll help. I promise," he said. "You know what's said is confidential, but if you'd rather talk to someone else, I know people you can talk to."
"It's hard enough talking to people I know."
"Some people find it easier to talk to a stranger about these things," he told her. He watched as she put her hand to the glass, watching the people below.
"Why talk to someone else? You already know more about me than anyone else I work with, Elliot included."
"If we're going to do this, you can't bull shit with me," he told her. "You've got to be honest with me. And, more importantly, with yourself." He paused for a moment. "It might be easier if you told Elliot first."
"I can't tell him. He's got enough shit of his own to deal with," she replied.
"He deserves to know, Olivia. If you're going to marry him, you'll have to tell him eventually," Huang said. Olivia bit her lip and nodded.
"I know."
"If he really loves you, he can handle it. And you should tell Kaitlyn. You don't have to tell her now, but when she's an adult she needs to know the whole truth," he told her.
"Okay," she said, turning around. She leaned back against the windows, looking around the room. "Anything else?"
"It's alright to be afraid, Olivia. Just don't let fear force you to do something that you'll regret later," George told her.
"It's a little late for that."
A/n: Okay, I revamped the ending a bit. I just wasn't getting a major brainwave as to how to begin chapter 8, so I had to do a little addition.