Chapter 21: Padme

Padme stopped in the long empty hallway, glancing this way and that. Her sneezing fit had ended a while ago, but now she didn't think the Wookie fur had caused it. She had never been allergic to Wookies before, so why now? Perhaps that Solo had some other stuff on that filthy hankie he had offered her, something like sneezing powder. She certainly wouldn't put it past the man. Wasn't he trying to kill Palpatine? Well, not that killing Palpatine would be a bad thing. The ex Supreme Chancellor turned Emperor had been the one to ruin not only her marriage but had ruined the entire galaxy! But the things Solo had done to the poor Jedi Masters…

She crushed Obi-Wan's Jedi robe to her chest, hugging it. She was so confused now! Here she was alive again and on her husband's ship. Except Anakin was still Darth Vader, that horrid Sith Lord! Was she still legally married to him since she had died and was brought back somehow? Did she want to be married to him? Had he changed any at all or was he still full of anger? Was any part of her beloved Ani alive inside the vile Sith?

Oh, it was o so confusing!

And then there were her children! They were all grown up and on the ship somewhere, too! She really needed to find Leia and have a serious talk with her about that Solo person. What in the galaxy her daughter saw in that scoundrel was beyond her. But then, who knew how her daughter had turned out? And then there was the possibility that one of her children could have taken after her husband, have his dark side. What a horrible thought!

At the sound of running footfalls, Padme turned around and looked behind her. Within moments, a man appeared. He had green skin and a long topknot of black hair. And for some unknown reason, he was carrying a belt in one hand. There was a lightsaber attached to his belt, so he must be another Jedi.

"Hello!" Prince Xizor called brightly when he spotted Padme standing in the hallway. The Falleen's eyes scanned her from head to foot, paying special attention to anywhere she might choose to hide pills. He noted the bright round blob among her black hair and grinned. People on this ship were especially resourceful. They carried pills in all different locations; that black man securing long capsules to his belt while the woman stashed them away inside her hairdo. Nether less, he would take them from her!

"Master Jedi, I seem to be lost and require directions." Padme smiled politely at him, unaware the hardened ball of gum in her hair was undergoing severe scrutiny.

"Prince Xizor at your service!" Xizor bowed, bending forward so low his long topknot of black hair brushed against the white floor. He straightened up again, all smiles of white teeth. Casually he inched closer. "My Lady, you wouldn't happen to know where Skywalker is, do you?"

"Skywalker?" Padme instantly thought of Anakin as he used to be. So brave, so dashing, so mischievous! He was always willing to protect her with his life and they had made a good team. He had been so handsome with crystal blue eyes that could melt her insides like butter with one glance and that cute little braid he had sported. She sighed loudly, lost in her memories.

"Hello?" Xizor waved a hand in front of Padme's face. Boy, the woman was on some really good drugs! Whatever it was, it was way better than those things that he had stolen from Jade. Those things had only made him puke his guts out all over her fancy little shuttlecraft. He waved both hands in front of her face and started jumping up and down wildly. "Hello? Remember me? We were talking!"

Padme blinked, startled to see Xizor. She had become lost in her daydream about Anakin and the happy times they had shared together. "Did you say something?"

"Yes! I said I was Prince Xizor!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Master Jedi. I was thinking of my husband." Padme explained, her face and neck becoming slightly pink. Before, when she had served as Senator such a foolish thing never would have happened. But if such a thing could happen with just one mention of her husband's name, surely that meant she still loved him? Well, the old him anyway. Truthfully, she didn't really know what he was like now. So many years had passed while she had been dead…

"Do you know Skywalker?"

"I'm married to him." Padme admitted. She saw no reason to keep their marriage a secret anymore. The Jedi Council had found out the truth years ago, so no use hiding it from this Jedi Master. "Do you have a problem with that, Master Jedi?"

Xizor's mouth dropped open in shock. He hadn't know Skywalker had been married, but now it all made sense! Yes, his wife carried the drug supply around in her hair, safely hidden from prying eyes and scanners at spaceports. He would be honest and try to purchase a supply from her. "Do you have any pills?"

"Pills? No, why do you ask?" Padme stared at the green man, confused.

"You cannot fool me, Dear Lady!" Xizor leaped closer, his behavior becoming more erratic. He pointed a long green finger with black fingernails at the basket-like hair accessory atop her head. "Skywalker is a pill dealer and you are carrying his supply up there!"

Padme gasped in shock, one hand flying to her open mouth. "That's not true! My husband is an honorable man!"

"I demand you give me the pills!" Xizor held out his hand, palm upward.

"I don't have any pills!" Padme cried as she backed away from him. He had a wild look in his eyes and she realized that he might very well be unstable. She took a quick glance behind her, but to her dismay the corridor was still empty. Where in the world was the crew? She used to be a fair fighter, but this man was well built with strong muscles. She doubted if she could lick him empty-handed in a fight. Besides, he had a lightsaber…

"GIVE THEM TO ME!" Xizor leaped at her, hands outstretched for her hair. His fingers closed around the hardened glob of gum and he yanked, almost pulling Padme off her feet. The gum came free and he jammed it into his mouth, along with several long black human hairs.

"EEEEEEEE!" Padme shrieked and raced down the hallway, her hair loose and trailing behind her. The basket-like hair accessory had been partly pulled off her and it dangled in the air, slamming into her back with each step.

"COME BACK HERE WITH THOSE PILLS!" Xizor screamed as he gave chase after her. He held the prized pill inside his mouth; it was too large to swallow without water. He then remembered the lightsaber he had stolen from the black guy and he pulled it off his belt, igniting it. He saw it had a cool purple blade and he grinned. Purple was good, it went well with his green skin and black topknot. Everyone was so greedy! They didn't want to share their lovely pills with him! Well, he'd show them!

Padme raced around a corner and was relieved to see the familiar tall dark shape of her husband. Obi-Wan was with him. "Ani! Ani, help me! There's some crazy Jedi trying to kill me!"

"PIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS!" Xizor came tearing around the corner at hyperlight speed only to skid to a halt when he saw Darth Vader. His target was hiding behind Vader's black-clad body, peering out at him fearfully. "Oh, Hello! Did that nice shrink help you with your mental problems, Lord Vader?"

"I do NOT have mental problems!" Vader hissed at the Falleen, angry. "Give me that lightsaber!"

"Oh, you're STILL in denial? How very sad. Sad indeed!" Xizor smiled brightly as he held the purple lightsaber in his hand, admiring it. "Hmmm, what a pretty color! And look how it sizzles and hisses. I wonder if it needs some pills? Would you like some pills, my purple friend? You would? Grand!"

Vader pulled out his own lightsaber and turned on the long red blade. "Give me the lightsaber, Xizor! You do not wish to fight me, for you will loose."

"Give me my PILLS first!" Xizor pointed a finger at Padme. "She has lots of pills! Her husband is a pill dealer!"

"I am NOT a pill dealer!" Vader hissed angrily as he waved his lightsaber at Xizor. "How dare you make such an accusation!"

"Not YOU, you idiot! SKYWALKER!" Xizor jumped up and down as if he was having a temper tantrum, which wasn't that far from the truth. "Skywalker is the pill dealer! Jade told me so! And she refused to share any with me, even her wonderful Annoyance! Oh, she is sooooooooo greedy!"

"I am married to Padme." Vader stated.

Xizor stopped jumping. The Falleen stared at him with an open mouth, his eyes growing wide as saucers.

"Uh-oh. You shouldn't have said that." Obi-Wan commented.

"YOU'RE MARRIED TO SKYWAKER'S WIFE!" Xizor screeched as loudly as he could. "SHE HAS TWO HUSBANDS!!!!!!!"

Vader felt like strangling Xizor.

Just then Mace appeared behind Xizor in the hall, one hand holding up his pants, the other firmly clapped over an ear. "YOU! Give me back my lightsaber and my belt!"

Xizor pointed a green finger at Padme. "She has TWO HUSBANDS!"

"Really?" Mace inquired as he moved closer to Xizor. "And would you please stop screaming so loudly? You're giving me a headache!"

"You should take some pills!" Xizor advised happily. Then he remembered the scandalous news of Padme having two husbands. "She has TWO HUSBANDS! They both married her because she's a PILL DEALER!!!"

"The Jedi Council knows who she's married to." Mace reassured the Falleen as he moved closer. "Now give me that lightsaber!"

"Why? Is it yours?" Xizor asked innocently, a wicked gleam in his eyes. He was enjoying the little game with baldy, but what he really craved was the pills. Still, he would string the man along; see how out-of-control he could make him. That would be fun. Yes, lots and lots of fun.

"Yes, it's my lightsaber!" Mace shouted, the Jedi just barely managing to restrain his anger. He had met all sorts but never had he met anyone quite like Prince Xizor of the Falleen. "Give it here!"

Xizor turned to look at the purple lightsaber. "Do you want to go with the baldheaded man? No, you don't? That's OK. I'll take good care of you, feed you lots of wonderful pills once I get a new supply."

"This is ridiculous!" Mace warned, anger getting a firm grip on him now. "Stop talking to that lightsaber and give it back! If you don't cooperate, you'll be sorry!"

"But it doesn't LIKE you anymore. It likes me. You wouldn't want to hurt it's feelings now, would you?" Xizor asked Mace, an innocent expression on his green face. Inside, he was laughing gleefully. His plan was working wonderfully and the man was loosing his cool.

Mace took a deep breath and held it, then let it out. He had to stay calm and focused. If he let Xizor get the best of him, he risked everything he had worked so hard for. It was enough that they had two Sith to deal with, the galaxy didn't need a third just because he had lost his temper. Once he had released his anger into the Force, Mace smiled and held out his hand. "Give me the lightsaber and I'll give you all the pills that you want. OK?"

"You don't have any." Xizor tossed the belt back at Mace. He had swallowed the capsules that had been attached to the belt, but sadly they didn't have any kick in them at all. Unknown to Xizor, they hadn't been pills at all but the Jedi's emergency food supply.

"Look, I'll get you some!" Mace promised.

"You're boring." Xizor stated and turned his attention back to Padme, Vader and Obi-Wan. He really needed some pills now, bad! He could feel his system running out of the wonderful kick, slowing down. She was the one that had all the pills. Hmm… how could he get them with Vader in the way? "Hey, Lady! You want another husband? Is that what I got to do to get the pills, marry you?"

Padme's mouth dropped open, her face going pale. "I don't have any pills! And I only have ONE husband!"

"No, you got TWO husbands!" Xizor insisted, the wild look growing in his eyes again. "You're married to Skywalker and Vader, that's TWO husbands! So if you have two, why not THREE? Huh?"

Padme was growing furious. This vile green man was going to spread horrible rumors about her all over the ship! Soon they'd get off the ship and everyone would hear his horrible lies, it'll be a nightmare! Then something clicked in her head. She kept forgetting time had passed while she had been dead. Maybe he wasn't referring to Anakin when he said Skywalker, but Luke? Could that be what was creating the confusion? She forced herself to remain calm, she was a dignified Senator and she wouldn't loose her temper. "Do you mean Luke?"

"YEAH! He's SKYWALKER! The PILL DEALER!" Xizor shouted with excitement. "You admit it! You have TWO HUSBANDS!"

"Luke is my son!" Padme explained, being foolish enough to think that solved the Falleen's problem.

"You married your OWN SON?! Oh, lady, that's SICK!" Xizor twisted his face up.

"I'm NOT married to my son, you crazy alien! How many times do I have to keep telling you I only have ONE husband!" Padme shouted, loosing control of her temper. "And I DON'T have any pills!"

Xizor pointed a finger at Obi-Wan. "Are you married to him, too?"

"NO!" Padme shouted.

"Why are you getting ME involved in this for?" Obi-Wan asked the Falleen. "I just got alive again! I don't want him killing me for something you said!"

"You need some serious counseling, Lady, having all those husbands! THREEE of them!" Xizor shook his head sadly, truly feeling sorry for the mixed-up Senator. "I know this good doctor. You should all go see him. He'll give you lots and lots of pills! Vader knows where his office is, don't you? I've seen him there, waiting to see the shrink."

"Why you!" Padme dashed past her husband and kicked Xizor on his leg. Reaching up, she grabbed his long topknot and yanked it roughly, knocking the Falleen Prince to the ground. Mace hurried forward and took his purple lightsaber back.

"OWWWW!" Xizor cried from the floor, rubbing his sore leg. "You're MEAN! I'm not marrying you anymore!"

"And stay away from my wife!" Vader warned as he glared down at Xizor.

Xizor lay on the floor. He was still convinced that they were all pill dealers, no matter what they said. He would find a way to get the pills from them one way or another. Perhaps he should go looking for the first husband, Skywalker.

To be continued…

Author's Note: I wanted to post this last night, but a thunderstorm came along and I had to unplug my computer. The next chapter will be about Luke!