Chapter 25: Luke
The door opened and Vader strolled in, relieved to find his son alive and well. He approached their table and stopped before it. The Sith Lord raised one black-gloved fist, a pair of rib bones in his hand. "Luke, do you know anything about these bones or the Brain-Eating Aliens on the Executor?"
Luke's pale blue eyes opened wide and he stared up at his father in shock, leaping up from his seat at the table. "Brain-Eating Aliens?! There's Brain-Eating Aliens on the ship? Where? We better go blast them one before they eat us!"
Vader studied his son for a long moment, thinking. He was positive his son had started this entire mess somehow. "So you don't know anything about this?"
"No, of course not!" Luke replied, his eyes still as wide as saucers. "Why would you think I did? Mara and I were in here the entire ten minutes on our date. I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of activity out in the hall but I never suspected anything like this!"
Master Mace stepped forward. "Now think carefully, Son. You sure you didn't start this whole thing by accident now, did you?"
"I told you I didn't." Luke replied. "Why, I never even heard of Brain-Eating Aliens before. What do they look like?"
"No one knows." Mace replied as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Truthfully the Jedi Council never believed they existed, that they were just a myth from the ancient past from before man met other intelligent races. But we've received a report that they killed a crewmember and have acid for blood."
"They could be all around us!" Luke exclaimed loudly, reaching on his belt for his lightsaber. "Where are Han and Leia? I better go find them before the aliens eat their brains!"
Stuffing the three remaining bantha burgers into his black toga, Luke picked up the gallon of blue milk and headed for the door. He had almost reached it when his father gripped his wrist and stopped him. Vader still held the rib bones in his black-gloved hand and now he waved them in front of his son's face. "And what of these, Luke?"
Luke eyed the bones, a horrified look on his young face. He had already forgotten the barbecued ribs he had eaten a short time out in the hallway, the more exciting news of the dangerous aliens filling his mind to full capacity. "How can you just hold someone's ribs like that? Eeewwwwww!"
Darth Vader, Mace, Obi-Wan, Padme and Jade stared at him.
"What would you prefer I do with them?" Vader asked, curious as to what his simple-minded son would say.
"Throw them back wherever you found them!" Luke twisted his face away from the pair of curved rib bones, shutting his eyes tightly.
"I found them out in the hall, just outside this room. There are red stains and streaks on the floor and wall. They have not been analyzed yet, but they appear to be blood." Vader fumed inside his black breath mask, frustrated with the boy and his inability to get anywhere. Ever since he had taken Luke to live with him things had been going wrong. Although Luke denied it, Vader still believed he was involved. The problem is, the Sith Lord couldn't think how or why. Yet it was his duty to get to the bottom of the situation and to do it as quickly as possible. "Luke, I need you to look at these bones and tell me if you ever saw them before."
"Now Son, if you want to be a Jedi you can't be squeamish." Mace offered, a gentle hand on Luke's shoulder. "They're just bones. They can't hurt you any. So just open your eyes and take a good look at them. And think carefully before you answer."
Fearfully, Luke opened one eye and peered at the bones cautiously. There were two of them, long and curved. It was obvious something had gnawed most of the flesh from them, but little red bits still existed. The idea that a short time ago they had been incased inside someone's chest was more than he could stand. Luke's stomach started to churn wildly and he felt sick. And what made it even sicker was how his father was just holding them like that, like they were just … bones!
"Luke?" Vader asked, still waiting for a reply. "Do they look familiar to you? Please, I need an answer."
"I …" Luke started, forcing his other eye open through sheer will power. Focusing both eyes on the bones, Luke gulped noisily, his hands tightening around the handles of his milk jug and lightsaber. "I…"
"Yes?" Mace prompted, moving closer. "It's all right. Just let it out."
"I … I'm going to be sick!" Luke's stomach roiled like a cement mixer and he promptly threw-up all over Mace's boots.
A sour expression on his dark-skinned face, Mace stared down at his soiled boots. "That wasn't exactly what I meant."
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Luke cried.
"Now why does that sound so familiar?" Mace remarked dryly as he shifted his gaze onto Vader.
Dr. Leonard McCoy glared at the wall com in his office. "What's this foolish announcement about Brain-Eating Aliens all about? Everyone knows that's a lot of pockycock. What are you morons trying to do, induce mass hysteria?"
"Doctor! Please report to Section G, Block A and put Lord Vader's ribs back in his body!"
McCoy thumbed the switch to reply. "WHAT?!"
"One of the Aliens ate Lord Vader!"
"Who is this?" McCoy asked, certain it couldn't really be a bridge officer he was talking to. "Is this the bridge?"
"This is the Bridge."
"When I get up there, you're all being relieved of command!" Dr. McCoy hit the wall switch again, flipping the com off. Picking up his little black bag and medical tricorder, he left his office and entered main Sickbay. For unknown reasons, Yoda was still sitting on the floor there, deep in meditation. Bones walked around him and headed out into the hall. "Brain-Eating Aliens, indeed! People up there probably can't even operate a toaster nether less run a ship."
Grumbling, McCoy hurried down the long hallway towards Section G, Block A.
Almost immediately after McCoy left Sickbay a squadron of stormtroopers entered, their blaster riffles ready to shoot anything that moved. The one in the lead, number 3847659037 – 38 for short, stopped in midstep when he spotted Yoda meditating on the floor. The trooper right behind him collided into 38 and knocked him over. The blaster riffle flew out of 38's hands and skidded across the floor but the worst thing was that 38 landed right in front of the Jedi Master, his helmeted head only inches from the tiny alien's green hands.
"Is … is that one of the Brain-Eating Aliens?" trooper 74 asked, fear in his voice.
"Could be…" 95 replied, unsure. "Never seen anything like that thing before."
"What should I do? It's right in front of me!" 38 wailed in panic, his eyes bulging out of his sockets. He was so close that he could see its long black nails and the pebbly texture of its skin.
"Don't move!" 95 replied. "It looks part reptilian to me. I once read that reptiles respond to movement. If we all stand still it can't see us!"
"But I want to get AWAY from it!" 38 protested, his heart beating wildly in his chest and sweat trickling down his forehead into his eyes. "It eats brains and my head is like inches away from its ravenous maw!"
"Shut up, 38!" 74 piped in, a note of hysteria in his voice. "You'll wake it up!"
"But why can't I just inch away slowly?" 38 asked, desperate to get away from the horrid green creature.
"Because!" 95 spoke with in an official-sounding tone he had copied from listening to the gray-wearing officers. "If you move you'll get us all killed! Look at those giant ears! They can hear EVERYTHING! Reptiles can move with lightning-fast speed. Before you know it, it'll have you half swallowed!"
Trooper 74 nodded in agreement. "That thing is definitely a reptile."
A few moments passed, no one moving.
Yoda continued to meditate, unaware of the conversation going on about him.
"How long do we have to stand here?" Trooper 74 finally asked in a whisper.
"Until it goes away." Trooper 95 explained matter-of-factly. "I tell you it responds to movement. We're just lucky it didn't see us when we came in or we'd have been goners."
"We should call for backup, report its location." 38 uttered from his location on the floor.
"Well, I'm not going to move and wake it up!" 74 couldn't take his eyes off the creature. It was just so .. so .. GREEN!
"Me either!" 95 said, glaring at 38. "You better get with the program, 38! Look at the mess you got us into! Stuck in a room with a Brain-Eating Alien and it's GREEN!"
"Well, I'm the one that's trapped right in front of it!" complained 38, wishing he had gone with 62 and 88 into the room next door instead of into this one. "Why don't one of you blast it?"
"Because if we move our blasters it'll wake up!" 95 exclaimed, rolling his eyes inside his stormtrooper helmet.
"Ummm … I have to go to the bathroom." 74 admitted.
"That's too bad." 95 replied as he continued to stand perfectly still. "You'll just have to hold it."
"For how long?" Trooper 74 asked, worried. "My bladder is killing me!"
"Until it goes away."
"But when will that be?"
"Can't you see it's digesting its last meal?" Annoyed with all the questions, 95 struggled to control his temper. Didn't they realize their very lives were at stake? "Either when it gets hungry again or when the sun goes down. Reptiles go crawl under rocks at night. Don't know what this one will do though. Maybe it'll think you're a rock, 38, and crawl underneath your body to keep warm."
At that news, 38 started wailing as loud as a siren.
In his private room in Sickbay, Palpatine was woken from a deep slumber by a terrible screeching. The Emperor rubbed his sleep-filled eyes and sat up in bed. McCoy had fixed the leg that Leia had broken with a chair and afterwards he had fallen asleep. "What is that horrible sound?"
He waited several minutes for the noise to stop, but it just seemed to be going on and on. Annoyed, Palpatine slowly eased himself out of bed. Once his bare feet were on the floor, he carefully stood up and tested the injured limb. To his satisfaction it held his weight just fine. Picking up his cane, he slowly made his way to the door. The sound seemed to be coming from the other side…
"Look!" 74 screeched in terror when he saw Palpatine appear from behind a door. "It's some dried-up THING!"
Without his usual dark robes, the stormtroopers didn't recognize their Emperor. In fact, these particular troopers came from a small distant world and really had no idea of who the Emperor was at all. Dressed in the skimpy tunic that patients wore while in Sickbay, the Emperor looked quite different than his normal royal fear-inspiring appearance. But being a Master Sith, he still had the usual fear-inducing affect on those who weren't used to it. And being already out of their minds from the Brain-Eating Alien, Palpatine's affect wasn't the best thing for them at all. In fact, it was the worst thing possible.
"It's an undead creature!" Trooper 95 shouted quickly as he took in the Emperor's badly wrinkled and decayed skin. "The Brain-Eating Alien must have ate him and now it re-animated his corpse!"
"What is going on here?" Palpatine demanded, one pale bony hand raised and pointing at the troopers. "What is this nonsense about Brain-Eating Aliens and undead creatures? Where are these creatures?"
"YOU"RE THE UNDEAD CREATURE!" Trooper 95 bravely shouted.
"How dare you call me that! I'm your Emperor! Now you will pay for your lack of respect!" Palpatine let his Sith Lightning fly, the bluish-white bolts hitting trooper 95 on his chest armor. The power of the bolts picked 95 up and flung him backward, striking 74 who stood right behind him. Both were flung back out Sickbay's doorway into the corridor. They landed with a loud rattle of armor that sounded just like a dozen metal trashcans striking each other. Without wasting a second, both scrambled to their feet and dashed screaming down the hallway.
Left alone with the Brain-Eating Alien and the Undead Creature, Trooper 38 whimpered from his spot on the floor.
Cackling evilly, Palpatine returned to his private room.
Darth Vader, Luke, Padme, Obi-Wan, Mace and Jade were still in the Officer's Lounge.
"I say we go check out that murder site." Master Mace said to the others as he wiped the vomit from his boots. "The one where the Brain-Eating Alien was killed and leaked acid blood onto the floor."
"Wait a minute! No one said anything about these things having acid for blood!" Luke cried, his startled gaze going from one Jedi to the other. "How are we supposed to fight something like that?"
"I did inform you, Son, when I first came in." Vader said, his mechanical breathing loud in the room.
"No you didn't!" Luke answered wildly, panic in his voice. His stomach had settled down in the few minutes that had passed since he had thrown up and now he felt better. "I have to find Han and Leia! What if they shoot at one of these things without knowing? They could be killed!"
"We must remain calm." Vader reminded him.
"Calm?! How can we remain calm when monsters are eating people! We could be next!" Luke shouted as he once again tried dashing out the door.
This time it was Obi-Wan that stopped him. "Anakin is right. We need a plan. It's not wise rushing blindly into unknown situations."
"But Han and Leia…" Luke started to protest, but an angry glare from his father shut him up.
"We do not know that these creatures even exist." Vader pointed out.
"But you just said that they do!" Luke whined, frustrated.
"You have not been listening to what I've been saying, Luke." Vader shook a gloved fist at his over-eager son. "You best learn to listen! The original report of the Brain-Eating Alien came from this area, this section of the ship. I arrived here and found these bones on the floor, the red stains in the hall. I was concerned for your safety, but Jade was with you. I wish to know what you've seen so I can determine if these creatures truly exist."
"But they HAVE to exist!" Luke pointed at the disgusting bones Vader still held in one hand. "If they don't, how do you explain those?"
"And what about that acid on the floor?" Mace reminded Vader, the Jedi Master itching to go examine the scene of the crime.
"Yeah! What about that?" Luke looked anxiously at the door. "Come on! I want to go blast those Aliens! Maybe Han and Leia can protect themselves, but what about Grandmother?"
An ice-cold fear gripped Vader's heart. With his mother on the ship, he couldn't take chances. The debate of whether these creatures existed or not would have to continue on the way towards the next crime scene; interrogating Luke was getting him nowhere.
They exited the Officer's Lounge and once out in the hall realized the intercom was calling for Lord Vader.
"Yes? This is Lord Vader."
"This is Trooper 9597293745! Like to report that a Brain-Eating Alien was spotted in Sickbay! An Undead Creature accompanied it! Repeat Brain-Eating Alien and Undead Creature spotted in Sickbay!"
The Dark Lord of the Sith stared at the intercom and said nothing. Undead Creatures? What in the Force was the galaxy coming to these days?
To be continued…