Misfits in Space

Chapter 7: There is no Spoon, Fork, or Knife

The Misfits were settled in to their temporary rooms. They were in threes. Cover Girl, Wanda and Althea were in one room. Todd, Fred, and Roadblock were in another. Lance, Xi, and Spirit were in a third. Arcade, Pietro, and Low Light were in a fourth. Shipwreck and Beach Head shared a fifth. The groups were relaxing in their rooms. Well, most of them were...

"Maybe?" fumed Cover Girl.

"We know," yawned Wanda. "We know."

"It's terrible," groaned Althea. "Awful. Horrible. Please stop."

"How could he say that?" yelled Cover Girl. "After everything we've done together!"

"What have you done together?" asked Althea, perking up.

Cover Girl opened her mouth, then shut it again. "Um... nothing?" she replied weakly.

"Aha!" laughed Wanda. "That means something! Spill!"

"It was nothing serious," mumbled Cover Girl, her face going uncharacteristically red.

"All right, now we have to know," grinned Althea.

"There may have been a little... fondling," muttered Cover Girl.

"You had your shirt off and were trying to get him to lick your boobs!" laughed Althea.

"How did you know that?" glared Cover Girl. "I mean... I did no such thing!"

Althea waved a hand airily. "My idiot dad was monitoring your room when it happened," she told the Joe. "We all saw the whole thing. The whole thing."

"I'm going to kill Shipwreck," growled Cover Girl.

"I'm hungry," whined Todd.

"Me too," Fred chimed in.

"Why am I not surprised?" sighed Roadblock. "Don't give me those puppy dog eyes! You had a snack not that long ago. You can wait until dinner."

"But that's going to be in forever," Todd told him, doing his best to look adorable and starved.

"Fine," sighed Roadblock. He took a small paper bag out. "I was saving these for later, but you can have some now. Just make sure it doesn't put you off your chow!"

"Hurray!" cheered Todd, as he gulped down a chocolate-covered grasshopper. "These are the best! Thanks, Roadblock!" He hugged the big Joe.

"No problem, kid," Roadblock smiled. "Here, Blob, have a candy bar. It should keep down the hunger without going to far."

"Yum," grinned Fred, taking the large hunk of chocolate.

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

"No," sighed Spirit.

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

"No."

"Cookie?"

"No."

"Cookie?"

"No."

"Same to you, pal!" Lance yelled at the wall. "What do you mean, 'you couldn't injure a fly'? Well I got news for you! You ain't no fly! Why don't you step closer and say that?"

"Something tells me young Avalanche missed his last medication," Spirit observed.

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

Spirit began to cry.

Arcade and Pietro were battling on one of Arcade's new games.

"600 points for a runner score!" laughed Pietro.

"But I double-cycle for the tag!" crowed Arcade.

"Darn it!" shouted Pietro. "Wait! I just ate a juicebug! Yes!"

"Sonic reverser!" cheered Arcade. "I win!"

"Noooo!" cried Pietro.

"Who da boss? I da boss!" Arcade chanted, jumping up and down. "Who da boss? I da boss!"

"Rematch!" challenged Pietro.

"You're on!" grinned Arcade.

"Remind me why I don't drink," groaned Low Light.

"For the last time!" shouted Beach Head. "I refuse to try to get Cover Girl to play strip poker with us!"

"Aw, why not?" pleaded Shipwreck.

"Because she always beats us!" yelled Beach Head.

"All right," grinned Shipwreck. "Let me tell you about the time I fought of a dozen space vixens with a banana."

"Now right now," Beach Head told him. "I have to go convince Cover Girl to play strip poker with us!"

Everyone met in a large dining room. In addition to the Misfits, Leelia, her father (the ship's captain), and several Yardan representatives were there.

Lance and Leelia sat together, as did Todd and Althea and, to no one's surprise, Low Light and Cover Girl (the latter have calmed down considerably).

Everyone got down to the business of eating as food was brought into the room in massive quantities. The trouble started when Xi and Todd reached for the same thing at the same time.

"Mine!" glared Todd.

"Mine!" glared Xi.

Todd let go, and it flew across the room at Wanda. She retaliated, hitting Pietro and Lance. Before long, chaos had broken out, with unidentified foods flying around the room. The alien adults looked on in confusion (though Leelia seemed to be enjoying herself, flinging food right and left) as the Misfit adults (except for Shipwreck, who was also participating) calmly ate their meal.

"Is this a normal occurrence?" asked one of the Yardans.

"Nah, they're pretty calm today," shrugged Low Light. "Must be tired."

"Look out for the spoon!" yelled Fred.

"There is no spoon!" replied Todd.

"You've been planning that line, haven't you?" accused Althea.

"Maybe..." grinned Todd.

And so ends another wonderful chapter in this latest chronicle of the adventures of our hardy band of heroes. What does the future hold? Where will the Morons appear? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (1) All this and more next time, in chapter eight of...

"Misfits in Space"!

(1) 27.3 cubic metres/hour