Chapter 27: Leia

Luke raced down the hall. What in the galaxy had come over him to act that way, to throw milk at another person? Why, he had never done anything so crazy and disrespectful in his entire life! Sure, maybe he had sung on the intercom. That certainly was crazy but in a different way. Now he was going to be in deep trouble! Skidding around a corner and almost falling, Luke ran right into his sister. "Leia! Boy, am I glad to see you!"

"What's going ON, Luke?" Princess Leia asked, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. "I had gone to take a nap and when I woke up the whole ship had gone crazy! And I heard some weird announcement from the Bridge about aliens and some odd creature…have we been boarded?"

"I don't know. It's the Undead Creature and the Brain-Eating Aliens!" Luke glanced back down the long hallway, sensing his father was drawing closer. "Look, we have to get out of here! I'm in trouble, big trouble!"

Leia sighed. Her brother seemed to excel at getting himself in trouble. "What did you do this time? And what's an Undead Creature?"

"I'm not sure, but that baldheaded Jedi wants to blame this whole mess on me! He thinks I started it all when I didn't! All I wanted to do was go on a date with Mara…it's not fair! My date only lasted a measly ten minutes!" Luke nervously glanced around, and then spotted a turbolift at the end of the hall. Grabbing Leia around the wrist, he started hauling her towards the lift doors. "Come on! Let's get out of here before Father shows up with that grouchy guy!"

"But I don't understand…" Leia admitted as she massaged her forehead with the heel of her hand. "Why would the Jedi Master blame this on you? Unless…"

"Come on, come on! Open!" Luke slammed his fist onto the call button for the lift, bouncing up and down nervously on his feet. He glanced behind himself every few seconds, worried that the others would appear and catch them. "Unless what?"

The lift doors opened to reveal an empty car. Leia hurried inside and was quickly joined by her brother. "Unless the Jedi is angry you dated Mara. Didn't he tell you it was against the rules?"

"Yeah, he did say that." Luke admitted. Mace had even given him a big speech on how it was against the rules of the Jedi Order to date. "But I don't understand what my date with Mara has to do with this Brain-Eating Aliens stuff! And worse, Father believes I started it, too!"

"Do these Aliens really exist though?" Leia asked, confused herself and beginning to wish she had her blaster with her. "I mean, if these unknown Aliens are really on the ship somewhere we'd be a lot safer with Father and the others, not running around on our own."

"But we once took on a whole Death Star by ourselves!" Luke exclaimed, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. "Besides, I thought you didn't like our Father!"

"It's obvious SOMETHING has gone wrong on this ship, Luke, seriously wrong." Leia pointed out. Even inside the lift the Red Alert was flashing, the strobe-like affect bothering her eyes. After a while, the flashing lights could get very annoying. "And although it's tempting to say that the Master Jedi might arrange some little trick to dis-encourage you to date, I doubt if he's do something this huge. It interferes with the operation of Executor and Father wouldn't allow that. Besides, the Emperor is on board. But running away from this just makes you look guilty. You should go tell Father to his mask that you're not involved in this Alien business. And if you won't, I will."

"But I already told him!" Luke toyed with the lightsaber on his belt, running his fingers over the cool metal shaft. If by some chance some bizarre monster did appear, he'd slice it one! "He thinks I'm guilty because of the ribs I ate!"

Upon hearing this, Leia sighed loudly. It was another complicated mess like the poison cake incident, only more complex.

"You don't think I started this, do you Leia?" he asked her, fearful that she would blame him as well. "I hadn't meant to puke on the Jedi's boots or throw a jug of milk on his head…"

Leia groaned, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the life wall. It was turning out to be a diplomatic nightmare!

"And Father first says that there's Brain-Eating Aliens on the ship, then he says their not real, then he acts like they ARE real, the next moment they're fake again and then he says its all my fault! I don't know what to believe and it's driving me crazy!" The lift stopped and the doors parted with a sigh. Luke peered out into the hallway, his lightsaber ready just in case. But the long white corridor appeared to be deserted. Stepping out, he motioned for Leia to follow him.

"Why are we on this deck for? Isn't the shuttle bay close by?" Leia followed her brother, not knowing what to think. She wrinkled her nose in disgust, and then quickly covered it with her hand. "Ooohh, what's that awful smell?"

Smoke or some type of mist hung in the air, the stuff making Luke's eyes sting and pinch. Bravely advancing one step at a time, he soon began to see more signs around him. Dark scoring marked the walls and floor, evidence that someone had been firing weapons. "The first report that Father received over the com was supposed to be from this area of the ship. He never got to check it out because a newer report came in from Sickbay."

"So you think we should investigate it?" Leia carefully followed her brother, her boots splashing in shallow water. As they passed a destroyed men's room door, water gushed out into the hall: the obvious cause of the flooding. "Look at all the damage! The stormtroopers must have been firing at something."

They walked further and Luke suddenly stopped, placing his arm out so Leia couldn't move past him. "Look at this! The whole floor is gone!"

Princess Leia knelt down and peered at the damaged floor. The edges of the metal were black and pockmarked with tiny holes. Also the stench around this particular spot was much stronger and had more of a chemical smell to it. "It looks like some kind of acid did this…"

"Father said the Brain-Eating Aliens have acid for blood!" Luke exclaimed excitedly. This was his first proof that the Aliens really existed now. "Father has to see this! Then he'll know this mess isn't my fault! Why, I bet I know how this started!"

Leia rose to her feet and carefully moved away from the edge of the whole. "How?"

"That Doctor brought all those dead people to life, right? Well, what if these Brain-Eating Aliens and Undead Creatures came with them? Why, I bet even that guy that's trying to blame this on me is one of them!" Luke hurried away from the damaged floor back the way they had come. "We have to find an intercom so we can tell Father!"

"Luke, wait!" Leia ran after her over-excited brother. "WHO is an Alien?"

"That black guy with the baldhead!"

"You mean the Jedi Master?" Leia's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief. "Luke, that can't be true!"

"It all makes perfect sense! You'll see!" Spotting a com on the wall, he rushed over to it and flipped it on. "Father!"

"Luke, I think we should discuss this first…" Leia cautioned, fearing her brother would get himself into even more trouble.

On a different part of Executor, Darth Vader had almost reached Sickbay. He was just one hall length away when he heard his son's voice coming out of the intercom. Going over to it, he turned it on. "Luke, where are you?"

"Father! The Brain-Eating Aliens are real! I saw the big hole they made in the floor here! You know, in that spot where one of the Brain-Eating Aliens died! They really DO have acid for blood! And there's carbon scoring EVERYWHERE! The troopers were really shooting at something!"

"Luke…" Vader started but his excited son cut him off.

"And I think he's one of them!"

"Who is one of what?" Vader asked, confused. Padme, Obi-Wan and Mace pushed close to the Sith Lord, eager to hear news. Only Mara Jade hung back, an amused expression on her face. The Emperor's Hand knew the truth but since the Sith Lord hadn't asked her, well, she wasn't going to tell him. Besides, the whole thing was quite amusing actually and it allowed her some time to think on how she could draw young Skywalker to the Dark Side.

"A Brain-Eating Alien! He's not human at all!" Luke's voice shouted from the intercom on the wall. "He'll try to eat your brain when you're not watching! That's why he's trying to push this all on me! Don't you see? You'll all be convinced I'm to blame and that'll give him free time to eat the stormtroopers!"

HO-PAH. HO-PAH. HO-PAH.

Darth Vader stared at the intercom, his emotions swirling around within him. Only his loud mechanical breathing could be heard. Finally he asked Luke the question they all wanted to know the answer to. "WHO is a Brain-Eating Alien?"

"MASTER MACE!"

"What?!" exclaimed Mace, outraged and shocked. He shoved his way to the intercom and angrily punched the button. "Now you listen here! I'm NOT a Brain-Eating Alien! I'm a respected member of the Jedi Council! And you, young one, are in trouble!"

Obi-Wan covered his mouth with a hand and snickered, but stopped when Mace glared at him.

"Son," Vader said into the com. "You must be mistaken. I have known Mace Windu almost my entire life. I assure you he IS a Jedi and perfectly human."

"Father," Leia's voice cut into the transmission. "The stormtroopers WERE shooting at something over here. There's blast marks everywhere."

"We will take that into consideration, but now we must get to Sickbay. We have been stalled enough the way it is. Watch over Luke and try to keep him out of trouble." Vader clicked the intercom off, and then continued down the hall towards his destination. A short time later he reached Sickbay and fearlessly passed through its doors. Just within the room a stormtrooper lay on the floor on his stomach, Master Yoda meditating close by.

Dr. McCoy hurried over to the Sith Lord, a grin on his face. Dressed in a short-sleeved blue medical tunic and black pants, he pointed a finger at Yoda. "Well, there's your so-called 'Brain-Eating Alien'! Guess the troopers never seen any one from his race before and with all the confusing announcements…"

"Trooper! On your feet!" Lord Vader ordered, putting a strong Force suggestion into it. The trooper immediately got up, his body trembling with fear. The Sith Lord pointed at the Jedi Master. "Is that the Brain-Eating Alien that was reported being in Sickbay?"

"Yes, Sir!" The Trooper replied. "My unit commander told me I couldn't move or it'll swallow me alive. It's part reptilian, Sir!"

"That is NOT a Brain-Eating Alien. It's the Jedi Master, Yoda." Vader informed him. His black mask peered around Sickbay, scanning all the likely hiding spots but saw nothing. "Where is this Undead Creature?"

"It's terrible, Sir!" the trooper replied, horror clear in his voice. "It suddenly appeared out of that room there. It had red glowing eyes and rotten skin, its legs all bony because the flesh had been gnawed off them from the Alien! And then it made this awful sound and lightning flew from its hands! After it attacked my two mates it disappeared back into that room! You best not go in there!"

Darth Vader realized the Undead Creature was none other than his Master, Palpatine. The Force Lightning was obviously what the trooper had witnessed. But if that was the case, then what had the other stormtroopers been shooting at? Waving his black-gloved hand in dismissal, Vader moved towards Palpatine's room. "I will deal with this 'creature'. You may go."

The trooper eagerly ran from Sickbay, no doubt to spread more rumors about the Undead Creature to all his friends.

It didn't occur to Lord Vader that someone – a very important someone – was missing from Sickbay. That someone was Prince Xizor. After the fanatical pill-addict had attacked Padme and stolen Mace's lightsaber, he had finally been apprehended and ordered to Sickbay. But the crafty Xizor had no wish to get strapped down to a diagnostic bed and held there. He and his armed escort had also heard the announcements over the intercom from the Bridge and Xizor's clever mind worked out an escape plan.

"Look, over there!" Prince Xizor cried as he pointed towards a vent near the ceiling. "I saw something watching us from in there! It was a moldy green and had long, oozing tentacles, a big glowing red eye in the center!"

"It's a Brain-Eating Alien!" One of the stormtroopers shouted, aiming his blaster riffle at the indicated vent. The next second he opened fire and the vent cover disintegrated into a billion flaming pieces. The other troopers joined in and soon the hallway was filled with the loud racket of weapons discharge. Smoke filled the air and confusion reigned.

"I think it went down that way!" Another trooper shouted and he started dashing down a connecting corridor, all thoughts of escorting Prince Xizor to Sickbay forgotten. Who cared about the Prince when there was a dangerous enemy on board the ship, especially one that ate brains? The other troopers ran after him, randomly shooting at anything they saw.

Xizor watched them go, and then walked in a different direction. He had strolled down the hall for several minutes without encountering anyone when he heard excited voices ahead. It didn't sound like stormtroopers, so Xizor decided to check it out. If he were lucky, it just might be the Pill Dealer, Skywalker.

Luke turned around a bend in the corridor and stopped dead in his tracks. That green skin, the black topknot of hair… "Oh no! Not HIM!"

"Hello!" Prince Xizor called brightly upon seeing Skywalker. And he was even more pleased to see the lovely Princess Leia with him. Although she had escaped from his charms before, well, perhaps he'd have a second chance. "Do you have any pills?"

"NO! I DON'T have any pills!" Luke backed away from Xizor, keeping himself between the crazy alien and his sister.

"But you're a Pill Dealer! I know so for a fact." Xizor moved closer, determined not to let Skywalker escape before he had purchased a supply of Annoyance from him. "I just wish to conduct a business transaction. Jade told me of the powerful Annoyance you provided her with. I want some of it, too!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Luke replied, confused. Had Mara told Xizor he was a pill dealer? Why would she do that? Then it clicked in his head. "You're lying! You're totally crazy and if you're not careful, Mace will eat your brain! He's a Brain-Eating Alien!"

But the Falleen Prince wasn't interested in Brain-Eating Aliens. In fact, they had proved very helpful in letting him escape from the stormtroopers. But perhaps Skywalker was interested in them. Yes, this could prove quite helpful and Xizor smiled broadly. "I saw some of them, you know…"

Luke and Leia exchanged glances, unsure what to make of this new information.

Encouraged, Xizor continued. "Oh yes, I saw them with my own eyes! They were up in the vent, peering out at me! I would have been surely killed and my brain eaten! But the stormtroopers spotted them and started shooting! I made my escape and that's how I met you."

Luke stared wide-eyed at Xizor, his mouth hanging open. "You really SAW one?"

"Luke! Don't listen to him!" Leia exclaimed, placing a hand on her brother's bare shoulder. She had been meaning to ask Luke about why he was wearing what obviously was one of their Father's black capes as some bizarre fashion statement and not his own sensible cloths, but had never gotten the chance. "He'll say anything!"

"But you saw the floor back there, the gaping hole!" Luke turned to his sister, concern in his blue eyes. "These Brain-Eating Aliens are REAL! Father doesn't want to believe it, but I know they are! And he said he saw one. I know he's crazy, but at the moment he's the only source of information we have."

Luke turned back to Xizor. "Look, I'm NOT a Pill Dealer, OK? I don't know why you think that but I'm not. But we need to know about that thing you saw in the vent. What did it look like?"

Xizor smiled, his mouth all white teeth. Since he had started taking pills from Dr. Edmund, he'd been seeing all sorts of odd creatures. Oddly enough, no one saw them. But finally here was someone willing to listen and if it'll get him more pills, great! Skywalker was obviously testing him and the Falleen Prince understood that. Skywalker didn't want to peddle pills to just anyone… "It was green with thick tentacles! A disgusting slime oozed from its main central body where it had an enormous eye! They eye was red and shot through with streaks of bright yellow, the pupil in the center as dark as space itself!"

"Eeeewwwww!" Luke cried, horrified. "That's disgusting!"

"They're up in the vents!" Xizor shouted as he started to move around wildly, staring up at the ceiling fearfully. "We're surrounded! Why, I once saw one emerge from a toilet!"

"That's why the bathroom was shot up!" Luke shouted, the young Jedi growing more and more excited.

Leia, however, rolled her eyes. "Luke, he's making it all up! Can't you see that?"

"But it makes perfect sense!" her brother said. "And Mace is their leader!"

"Now give me my pills!" Xizor stated as he hopped closer to Luke, a wild and deranged look in his eyes.

"But I told you I don't HAVE any pills!"

"But your wife has them!" Xizor stated. "She hides them in her hair! I saw them!"

"Wife?" Leia glanced at her brother, confusion clear on her face. "Luke, what's he talking about?"

"Wife? I don't have a wife!" Luke cried.

"You DO!" Xizor leaped forward and landed on top of Luke, knocking the younger man to the ground. "She said she was married to Skywalker and you're Skywalker! She has THREE husbands! A very sick and twisted woman she is, your wife, but clever!"

"But…but… I'm not married to anyone!" Luke wiggled and squirmed frantically and managed to throw Prince Xizor off. The young Jedi scrambled to his feet and dashed down the hallway, Leia right beside him.

To be continued…