Chapter 29:

Author's Note: I will try to get back into the swing of this story…

"Luke! Why are we running from him for? You're a Jedi!" Leia asked as she ran alongside her brother. "And he's a criminal. We should try to catch him, not flee like cowards!"

Luke skidded to a halt, his chest heaving from the short but incredibly fast dash. "You're right. You're always right. But he's crazy! You heard him just now! He thinks I'm a Pill Dealer and that I have a wife! I don't even know what he's talking about! And everywhere I go he shows up!"

"You want to get back in Father's good graces, don't you?" She asked, a comforting hand on his bare shoulder. "And I'd still like to know why in the galaxy you're wearing Father's black cape instead of your own clothes!"

Luke glanced down at the black toga he had made from one of Vader's capes, his face turning tomato red. "It's a long story, Leia…"

"Well, you're going to tell me one of these days. I insist!"

"All right." Luke sighed. "But not right now. I DO want to get back in Father's good graces and patch things up with the Jedi Council. I'm still not sure about that Mace guy though…"

"You heard Father!" Leia spoke confidently as she intently watched in the direction they had come from. "He trusts Mace and you should, too. Now we need a plan to catch Xizor. How about you wait here in the hall and I'll go hide in that room? Then distract him so I can clobber him on the head with something. How does that sound?"

Luke's blue eyes widened as he gawked fearfully at her. "You just love beating up guys, don't you? Do you think you inherited that from Mother or Father?"

"Well, Father seems to favor Force-Choking so I guess it comes from Mother. Why?"

"So THAT'S why Father wears that mask and helmet! Mother must have been clobbering him all the time on the head! So he bought that stuff for his own self-protection!"

Leia slapped a hand over her eyes and moaned loudly. "Luke.."

"Gee, maybe I ought to buy a set, too! I mean, now that I'm dating Mara…" Luke rubbed his chin as he seriously considered the matter. "That Master Yoda was right. He told me dating was dangerous. Women can be so vicious! Did you know they expect you to actually KISS them?"

"Luke!" Leia grabbed her brother by the shoulders and shook him. "Snap out of it! Any minute that Falleen is going to come running and we need to be ready! So stop blabbing nonsense and get ready!"

Luke shot her an annoyed look. "Go hide then."

He watched Leia dash to a nearby door and slip inside, the door clicking shut behind her. He had to admit he normally didn't get annoyed with people, especially not with Leia as she could beat him up. He still hadn't forgot what she had done to Palpatine. His sister was darn right scary! Who would ever think of using a chair as a weapon? Feeling his annoyance drain away he once again started to think of Mara, she of the flaming red hair and emerald green eyes.

"Yoo-hoo!" Prince Xizor called brightly as he rounded a corner and saw Skywalker. The man's long topknot of black hair bobbed and he flashed pearly white teeth. "It's me! Will you give me my pills now? I told you what you wanted to know about the Brain-Eating Aliens. It's only fair you give me my pills!"

"Umm…" Luke nervously shifted his wait from one foot to another. He desperately clung to the fact that once Xizor came close enough that Leia would sprint from her hiding place and knock him out cold with some hard object. But since the door wasn't opening, he knew he had to stall for more time. His mind scrambled desperately for something to say, anything. "Yeah, I am a Pill Dealer…"

"I KNEW it!" Xizor bounced joyfully up and down on his feet, his black hair flying around wildly. He rubbed his palms together with anticipation. "When do I get my pills? Do you have more than one kind?"

"Well, I don't have them on me right now…" Luke slowly backed away from the alien and hoped that Xizor would follow him. Maybe the Prince was too close to the door and that's why Leia wasn't coming out. "I need to go get them. You know?"

"OH! I understand completely!" Xizor grinned and winked an eye. "You don't want anyone to know, especially Vader, hmmmm? Is he still in denial?"

Deciding it was best to humor Xizor, Luke nodded.

"That is SO sad! He really should get the help he needs. Dr. Edmund helped me SO much!" Xizor leaped the short distance between the two of them and threw an arm around Luke's shoulders. He tightened his grip, almost hugging the young Jedi. "So how about you get me the pills?"

"Ummm, OK." Luke desperately glanced behind them, hoping to see Leia sneaking up with another chair. But the hallway was still empty. A frown crossed Luke's face. Where had she gone?

Inside the room, Leia pounded her fists on the door but it still refused to open! Resigned to the fact she was trapped inside a broom closet, she leaned her back heavily against the door and sunk down to the floor. "This is so stupid! How could I have gotten locked inside a broom closet? I used to be on the Senate for crying out loud!"

But she was locked inside a broom closet. The door lock was malfunctioning and that's why she couldn't get out. And she couldn't depend on Luke to rescue her. He no doubt was still waiting for her to sneak up and bean Xizor on the head. Her poor brother was now subject to the whims of the insane pill addict and it was all her fault! Determination appeared on her face and she hastily climbed to her feet. "I'm not going to escape by feeling sorry for myself so I'll have to rescue myself. There must be something in here I can use…"

Reaching towards the shelves, she started going through the shelves. "I should just be glad the overhead light works. This ship has really taken a beating.."

The light overhead tinkled, blinked and then went out leaving her in total darkness.

"Figures…"

"So," Luke said uncomfortably as he was forced to walk down the long deserted hallway with Xizor. Enough time had passed that he realized something must have happened to Leia. What if that room had been filled with Brain-Eating Aliens? He needed to go tell Father so the Sith Lord could rescue her! He'd do it himself but couldn't do to the annoying Falleen! But what if he reached Vader too late and the nasty aliens had already eaten his sister's brain? That would be utterly terrible and his entire fault! Forgetting he had started to say something else, he spoke his thoughts out loud. "I'd never forgive myself!"

Xizor stopped and gawked at Luke, confused. "Huh? Never forgive about what? All them wives you have?"

Luke's face darkened with anger, as he grew fed up with the man's insistence that he was married. "I told you I don't have any wives! Not a one!"

"You do too!" Xizor insisted loudly. "I saw them! And one of them has three husbands!"

"Will you just SHUT UP!" Luke cried as his blue eyes darkened and his hands tightened into fists.

"SKYWALKER HAS THREE WIVES! SKYWALKER HAS THREE WIVES!" Xizor screamed as loudly as he could.

Luke's face reddened from both anger and embarrassment. "Stop that! Someone's going to hear you!"

A group of stormtroopers appeared in a connecting corridor and stood close together in a clump. They leaned their heads together and whispered over their connecting comlinks.

"SKYWALKER HAS THREE WIVES! SKYWAL….."

Luke's fist hit Xizor in his green face. The Prince of Black Sun spun around several times than fell to the floor. The moment he hit the floor Luke threw himself forward and landed on top of the man. He started to pummel him with his fists but the Prince wasn't knocked out just yet. He reached up and gripped Luke's shaggy hair and pulled.

"AAHHHHHH!" Luke shrieked in pain and in desperation jerked closer to the green man to bite him on his nose.

"MY NOSE!" Xizor screamed as the pain of the Jedi's teeth sinking in his nose hit his nerves. "You won't disfigure me!"

The two rolled around on the smooth and highly polished floor of Executor, arms waving and legs kicking. They punched, clawed, bit, kicked and did anything else that occurred to them. They screamed insults, threatened one another and shrieked in pain from all the injuries. Luke could have won the fight easily if only he had remembered to use his lightsaber but the ancient weapon was forgotten and still attached to his belt. This truly was the first time Luke had ever been in an all out fight of this nature and sadly he was loosing to the Falleen.

The lead stormtrooper watched the battle for a moment. "We have some real wild ones here…"

Signaling his men, the lead stormtrooper jogged towards the two combatants. Within short order the two fighting men were separated and cuffed, three stormtroopers hanging onto each person. The lead trooper stood in front of Luke and Xizor. "You have been arrested and will now accompany us to the detention block. Fighting of this nature is not allowed and it will go on your service record! It is disgraceful, especially during this time of severe need!"

"Hey! You can't arrest me!" Luke cried, horrified. His hair stuck up at weird angles and he sported a black eye. The part of the cape going over his shoulder had been torn and it slowly drooped down his arm until he was totally bare-chested.

"You!" The lead stormtrooper pointed at Luke. "Where is your uniform?"

"I don't have one! I don't even work on this ship!" Luke cried as he struggled vainly to free himself from the grip of the stormtroopers that held him.

"Then you're an intruder!" The lead trooper declared with triumph. "I will get rewarded for your capture!"

"He's a Pill Dealer!" Xizor cried loudly. "He refused to give me the pills I bought! And he has three wives and one of those wives has three husbands! He's very sick and twisted!"

Luke glared angrily at Xizor and attempted to kick him. "SHUT UP! You're going to get me in more trouble!"

"PILL DEALER! PILL DEALER!" Xizor sung crazily as the three stormtroopers that held him tightened their grips.

"Those are serious charges!" The lead stormtrooper remarked. "Drug dealing, having more than one wife, brawling in public, boarding the ship without permission…"

"Sir! Look!" One of the stormtroopers pointed at the lightsaber hanging from Luke's belt.

Reaching out, the lead trooper unhooked Luke's belt and took the entire belt away, lightsaber and all. "…Illegally armed, possession of restricted weapons…"

The torn remains of Vader's cape fell to the floor and Luke shivered in his Death Star underwear. The Death Star itself was pictured on his rear while Tie-Fighters and X-wings flew everywhere else. The young Jedi's face turned scarlet as he felt every eye there stare at him. It was without doubt the most embarrassing moment in his young life and he wished he could just die.

"…No respect for the Empire, improper exposure in public, no fashion sense…"

"You can't arrest me! Darth Vader is my Father!" Luke shouted in desperation.

"..Lying to arresting officer…"

Xizor stared at Luke and laughed. "I wouldn't be caught DEAD in those!"

"Will you just SHUT UP!"

"MAHAHAHAHAHA! Death Star Underwear! MAHAHAHAHA!" Tears ran down Prince Xizor's face as he laughed.

"There's nothing wrong with them!" Luke insisted, his face still cherry red. "I bought them myself!"

Leaving the torn cape where it was on the floor, the stormtroopers hauled Luke and Xizor away to the detention block. A short time later Luke found himself sitting glumly inside a cell in only his underwear. When he had asked if he could call his father they had refused. So he sat on the little bench inside his sell, one hand propping his chin up. "Great, just great! Now what am I going to do?"

The lead stormtrooper, however, had contacted Lord Vader to inform him two intruders had been caught. When the Dark Lord had asked for descriptions he knew instantly that one of them was Luke, the other Xizor. So he had set off for the detention block immediately.

"Luke…"

"Father!" Luke glanced up and saw Vader standing in the doorway of his cell. The young man leaped up from his seat and hurried over to the Sith Lord. "Those stormtroopers arrested me! Xizor wouldn't leave me alone so I had to fight him!"

Master Mace crowded into the cell and took in the young man's appearance. The black baldheaded Jedi shook his head sadly. "And by the looks of it, you lost. Son, you have to learn how to fight better than that. You have a black eye, numerous scratches and a hunk of hair missing. And are those BITES I see?"

"He fights dirty!" Luke cried quickly, his eyes alit with emotion. "But I bit him back!"

Mace groaned.

Padme squeezed into the cell and hugged her son tightly. "You did your best and that's what counts. Now lets get those wounds of yours looked at. We don't want those bites to get infected, do we?"

Horrified that a strange woman, even one claiming to be his mother, was seeing him wearing only his underwear he struggled wildly to get away from her. "Don't look at me!"

"What's wrong?" Padme asked as her dark eyes filled with concern. "If you're worried about that black eye…"

Luke pulled free and dashed behind Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan grinned. "I think he's a tad shy…"

"Luke! I'm your mother!" Padme exclaimed.

"But I just met you…" Luke protested as he desperately looked for something to cover up his almost naked body.

"Now son…" Mace started again. "Jedi don't have embarrassment. Why, in the old days we were required to fight naked if need be…"

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Luke went shrieking down the hallway in his Death Star underwear.

Vader shook an angry black-clad fist at Master Mace. "Look what you did! You will stop picking on my son!"

"Your son caused this mess to begin with!" Mace pointed out.

"I know that!" Vader snapped back. "I cannot be chasing him all over the whole blasted ship! I have a job to do!"

"Well, if this ship would BE so big you could find him easily!" Mace grumbled as he followed the others out of the cell. It was clear that Luke was a much bigger problem than Anakin had ever been. "I don't know what we're going to do with that boy."

"He will be a Jedi." Vader stated as he stormed down the long hallway, his senses stretching out to find the boy. Mace, Obi-Wan and Padme followed the grin Sith Lord. Discerning that one of his children was nearby; he headed in the correct direction. As the party of four approached the correct location, a loud banging could be clearly heard.

"Help! Help! Someone let me out!" Leia's voice cried from behind a closed door.

Vader lifted his gloved hand and made a sliding motion. The door opened and Princess Leia stumbled out, a metal bucket stuck to one foot. A dozen mops fell on top of her along with other assorted cleaning items. The bucket made a loud clunking sound with each step and she lost her balance, falling. Desperate, she clutched at Vader's shoulders and clung to him.

Mace scowled as he eyed the situation. "I see this one is even worst! I hope you don't expect her to become a Jedi as well! She has absolutely no coordination! Why, with her around you don't need Sith! She'd lope her own limbs off in lightsaber practice!"

The Princess glared angrily at Master Mace.

"Well, it's true!" Mace exclaimed as he felt her powerful gaze.

Letting go of Vader's shoulders, Leia shoved the mops off herself and they clattered to the floor. Balancing on one foot, she yanked the metal bucket off and held it securely in both hands. Stomping up to him, she shoved the bucket onto his head roughly until the rim was level with his chin. "Don't insult me again … you …you… you gravel-maggot!"

"HEY!" Mace shouted, his voice muffled by the bucket. He gripped the metal pail with his hands and tried to lift it off his face but it was stuck. "It's stuck! Somebody get it off!"

Leia slapped the bucket with the side of her hand and it vibrated like a bell. "And that's for upsetting Luke earlier! If you mess with him you'll have to deal with me!"

Mace stumbled around blindly and fell to the floor. "She has your bad temper, too!"

After Leia stomped off to go in search of her brother, Obi-Wan and Padme helped Master Mace to his feet.

"We need to take him to Sickbay…" Padme remarked as she started to lead the blind Jedi down the hallway. She shot Vader a look and he quickly moved up in front to lead the odd procession. He still remembered from all those years ago that Padme had won the argument and she expected to be obeyed … even if he was a Sith Lord. As they walked a loud screeching could be heard. The sound grew louder and louder.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Luke shrieked as he ran towards Darth Vader still clad in only his Death Star underwear, a whole legion of stormtroopers after him. "Those guys just won't leave me alone! They're EVERYWHERE!"

Vader silently sighed. He supposed he should look on the bright side that he had once again found the boy or should he say the boy found him? Either way, Luke was once more safe. He held up his hand and sent the troopers off elsewhere. Turning, he found Luke gaping at Mace.

"Who's that?" Luke asked, apparently not recognizing the Jedi Master due to the bucket on his head.

"It's me." Mace said from under the bucket.

"Who's Me?" Luke asked dumbly. He was pretty sure he had never met anyone with that name before.

"MACE!" Mace cried, aspirated.

"Oh, it's you." Luke blinked at the bucket-headed Jedi. "You had women problems, didn't you? I figured that's why Father wears that helmet … they like to clobber you on the head if you say the wrong thing. You really should have cut some eye holes in that before you put it on, do you know that?"

Obi-Wan snickered, a hand over his mouth.

Mace groaned loudly.

"Can I have it when you're done? Now that I'm dating Mara I'll need some protection…"

Mace lunged forward towards Luke's voice, his hands outstretched to strangle the boy. Luke sidestepped easily and Mace fell to the floor, the bucket ringing loudly like a bell in a steeple.

Clutching Luke by his wrist, Vader led the party to Sickbay. He was determined that this time his son would not get away. Soon after they had entered, Dr. Leonard McCoy emerged from his office and headed towards them. Upon seeing Mace with the bucket, the blue-eyed man mumbled and shook his head sadly. "I don't even want to ask how this happened."

In short order the bucket was removed and they headed up to the Bridge. Just outside the Bridge door they met Admiral Piett "They won't let me in, Lord Vader. They still insist about Brain-Eating Aliens."

"I will handle this." Vader motioned with his hand and the locked door smoothly opened. He then stormed onto the Bridge and all the officers there cowered in fear. Within a moment the Executor was back under his control and things quickly returned to normal. But it soon became clear that the trigger-happy stormtroopers had done damage all over the huge vessel. Executor would have to be put into spacedock for one week while repairs were made. This suited Vader just fine as it'll give him more time to spend with his family ay his castle on Coruscant. He clicked through the mental list of guests and family members that have been scattered all over the ship. Turning, he motioned Admiral Piett over. "Where is my Mother, Admiral?"

Piett gulped nervously, the bump in the front of his throat moving. His hands were clasped behind his back and he struggled not to tremble in fear. "My Lord, I'm afraid I could not find her. The Bridge does report a shuttle left during the confusion and headed down to Coruscant. Perhaps … perhaps she was aboard it."

"Admiral, a call is coming in." A bridge officer reported.

Piett bent over a bridge machine and straightened to face Lord Vader again. "It is from General Solo, Sir."

"Put it on the screen, Admiral." Vader ordered.

Piett hit a button and the image quickly appeared on the bridge's main viewscreen.

Han grinned crookedly at the assembled people on Executor's bridge. "It's about time you people answer! I've been trying to get through here for over an hour! Well, Pops, you'll be glad to know your mother is safe and sound down here at your place. Those stormtroopers of yours was shooting the whole place up and well, it just wasn't safe up there anymore. So I borrowed a shuttle and brought her down here. We've been baking cakes…"

"Thank you, General Solo." Vader said, relieved to know that Shmi was safe. The best thing to do next was to gather everyone up and head down planetside for some rest and relaxation. Perhaps things would be more quite down there.

To be continued…