Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter!

Chapter One: The Beginning of his Troubles:

Two pairs of blue eyes glanced at each other, winking.

'WE'RE BACK!" A magically-enhanced shout shook the castle.

Dumbledore ran out of his room with a lit wand, wearing teddy bear pajamas and pink, fluffy bunny slippers.

Fred and George stared. "Uh...Headmaster?"

"I can explain..." Dumbledore stuttered, "Actually... I can't..."

"HARRY! HARRY!" The identical faces were trying not to turn red from holding back their laughter.

"HARRY! We found this in our Dad's office! It's a contest to win a trip to the official England Quidditch Pitch and fly with the team for a day!"

Harry snatched the sheet from the twins and quickly ran his eyes over the sheet of paper. He then sloppily filled out the required information and handed it back to the twins.

Fred and George just burst out laughing.

"I"-- giggle-- "can't believe" --another annoying giggle-- "you fell for that!" The twins were back to back, holding each other up and slapping their knees.

"What did I fall for? And why are you laughing so much?" Harry asked, immensely aggravated and slightly worried about what was obviously the twins' newest plot.

"You should have seen your face!" Fred replied, wiping tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

"You just signed a contract to let us hold a contest to let girls(and blokes,elves, goblins, and pretty much anything else that could be considered a "being")sign up to have a date with you! We used an illusion charm on the paper so it would like it said something else." George replied, slowly standing up.

"Wait, so you mean I actually have to go on one of those dates!" Harry started rolling his sleeves up menacingly.

"We, uh, gotta go!" And being the two idiots Fred and George are, they tried to Apparate inside Hogwarts. Just then, Ron and Hermione walked in.

"Did they just try to Apparate? But that means they'll be ... splinched!"

Hermione just closed her eyes and shook her head.

Ron freaked, breaking out into a wild grin, "About time something happened to them!" He burst out laughing.

Hermione grimaced thinking about being splinched, "That has to hurt!"

Harry only grinned, "I hope it did."

"Come one, come all! Ladies, come sign up to win a date with... HARRY POTTER! That's right girls, THE Harry Potter." Fred and George had a table set up in front of Zonko's Joke Shop in Hogsmeade. They had banners with schmaltzy slogans like "Party with Potter!" and "Hail Harry!"

"Man, look at all these girls! Why don't we get this many?" Lee was helping the twins by counting the amount of contestants.

"Maybe we need to dye our hair black, wear dorky glasses, and give ourselves a stupid lightning-shaped scar on our forehead." George replied, his brother and Lee were snickering.

"WOMEN!" All three said at once.

"Pansy...Cho...Lavender...GINNY!" Fred was agape and staring at the paper.

"GINNY WILL NOT GO DATING, NO!" George started tearing the paper to shreds.

"Come on mate, she's in her fifth year at school, she can make decisions for herself." Lee assured with a hand on his friends' shoulders.

"NO, NO, NO and...fine." Fred caved in and started writing another entry slip for Ginny.

"Lucius! Severus! Get in here this moment!" Voldemort looked very pleased.

He had a smirk that looked very murderous and evil. (He had practiced it for weeks to make it perfect.)

"Get in here! OR I'LL KICK YOU!"

The two Death Eaters stormed in, looking very shifty.

Severus and Lucius kneeled before the Dark Lord.

"Yes, Master," they both greeted.

"It has come to my attention that Harry Potter is the prize for a dating contest at Severus's little school." The Dark Lord forced a spine-tingling chuckle.

Snape curled his lips, "Is this supposed to mean something to us?"

Voldemort chuckled, yet again. "It should; I need both of you to sign up for that contest." The two Death Eaters pursed their lips.

"Master, you know we're... straight," Lucius stated.

"NO, you muggle! We need to enter that contest so one of you could win and finally get rid of that Pain-In-My-Neck-Boy-Who-Lived." Voldemort's "nostrils" flared out and he held his head in his hands.

"God! Why am I surrounded by such idiots?" he finally muttered.

"Hey! Harry! We have to show you who signed up for the contest!" The twins and their commentator friend were running up the fleet of stairs to the boys' dormitories.

"I still can't believe I'm letting you two go through with this!' Harry said, opening the door to the boys' dormitories.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Fred muttered. "You believed us when we gave you the papers. You're the idiot here, not us!"

Harry just glared.

"And here's the list. You'll go on dates with thirty people, like a get-to- know-you basis. Then we'll eliminate fifteen of them, and you'll go on a longer, "more intimate" date. We'll keep eliminating and the grand prize winner gets to keep you and go on a cruise with you."

Harry continued to glare at the seemingly-innocent twins and snatched the list from them.

"Oh...my...god!" He screamed in horror reading through the list. "Blaise Zabini? Ginny? Madame Pomfrey! MALFOY! SNAPE!"

With that, Harry fainted.

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Ashleigh and Mimi