Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha
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1 more chapter …
Date(s): August 12th, 2005 …. August 14th, 2005
Mood: Impatient
Music:
I'll be your love – Yoshiki
Robot – Do As Infinity
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Love Pentagon
Chapter 39
Tragedy
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In the middle of a gun fight… In the center of a restaurant… They say, "Come with your arms held high!" …. Hee hee… just Ritsuki messing with you. Hmm does anyone know who sings that song or what song it is?
In the middle of late spring, I wore hoodies. I needed to cover my new scars.
Inuyasha and Sukey split up for what seemed like forever now. But I knew it was my fault and he hated me for it. That's why he didn't pay attention to me.
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A clawed hand grabbed my sleeve. I pulled my arm away as if he burned me. I looked up and saw Inuyasha's worried face. "Hm?" I said, looking the other way.
"Why the hell are you wearing a hoodie? Are you crazy?"
"No. Just cold."
"Talk about being cold… Why are you acting like Sango lately?"
"I am not acting like Sango."
"Well you've been quiet, mean, and depressed. Sounds just like her to me. What's bugging you?"
"Nothing," I said, grabbing my wrist. I'd hurt myself the night before, and the scar was aching.
"You're a bad liar. What's wrong?" his voice echoed in the empty hallway. He reached for my arm and I pulled it away again. He grabbed my other arm and yanked the sleeve up. His eyes grew wide as he saw my cuts. "…why, Kagome?" his voice was so small and shaky. I never heard him like this before.
I fought back tears. "None of your business…"
"Tell me why," he demanded in the softest tone possible.
"No."
"Tell me why right now," he said, a growl erupting from his chest.
"No," tears were forming.
He sighed. "Please, Kagome…" he sounded like he was crying, too. "Please… just… why?"
"You wanna know why?" I said quietly. "It's my fault you guys broke up… I don't deserve to live. Everything is just my fault!"
"What? No, it's not!"
"Why do you torture me! Once I forget about you, you come back to me and make me ache all over because I know I can't have you! What am I to you! You say you love me and you say you care about me, but why is it sometimes you ignore me like you do? You never consider my feelings! I love you so much, and you act like you could care less!" I was crying now. I wiped my tears and looked away from him.
"You're wrong."
"And then you do stuff like that! Just to get on my good side! Is it so you can get farther with me!"
"What are you thinking! Kagome, when I say stuff like that I mean it! If I didn't like you at all, I wouldn't bother. If I wanted to fuck you, I would've fucking raped you or something!"
I just sobbed. I knew he was trying to sound a little humorous by saying the rape thing, but I couldn't laugh right now. I didn't know if I would ever laugh again…
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I dropped the razor. I couldn't do it. Not after Inuyasha's worry…
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I needed to forget him. He wasn't worth my time. I knew it would take a long time, but I could do it. I could forget him.
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"Kagome, honey?" My mom peeked her head in my door.
"Yes?"
"We need to talk."
I sat up. "About what?" I had no clue what she was going to say, other than my scars. But I cleaned up the blood very well, and I didn't think she'd find out this easily.
"I know things have been financially rough lately, and I've really been trying to fix that."
"Okay…?"
She laughed at my confusion. "I've been looking for a part-time job. I couldn't find any. But I did find one job. It's full-time, though. Since my English is very god, a British man offered me a job as a secretary."
"Oh, that's it?" I said, "Why'd you have to talk to me about that?"
"Because I'd be secretary for the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. I took the job. We're moving to England once school ends."
(A/N: this did not happen to me…. It is in preparation for the sequel)
I was shocked. How could I leave everyone?
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After thinking about moving, I realized I couldn't handle saying goodbye. I promised myself I would tell them. But I only had 2 days.
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Every time I tried telling someone, though, I couldn't do it. I started crying almost. But one thing was good – I could forget Inuyasha easier. Before I left, I decided I wouldn't leave things awkward between us.
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"Hey," I tried to say casually.
"…hi," he looked at me strangely. I bet he was wondering 'she wants to talk to me?'
"I have something for you," I said, reaching into my bag. I pulled out a journal and handed it to him.
"What is it?"
"A gift."
I gave him my poem book (Hanako Horigome) All of my memories of the pain I felt were in there. If I held onto them, it would be harder to forget.
"Sorry for telling you off…(Hanako Horigome)" I said and walked off.
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LP is coming to an end.