Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea.

AN: Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing.

Summary: They just enjoy... Really?

He couldn't stop looking at her. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. From time to time one of the corners of her mouth twiched as if she was smiling. Grissom wondered what she was dreaming about. After watching her for a few more minutes he sighed, turned around and opened the door on his side of the car. He climbed out of the car and searched the pockets of his jacket for his cell phone.

He walked a few steps away from the car and stood there with the cell in his hands for a few minutes. His mind was racing. He couldn't help but enjoy the thought to just call the airline and book a flight next week. Enjoy the week here with Sara, only with Sara. Far away from home. But he knew that Sara wouldn't be too happy about staying here longer than needful.

'But maybe just one more day?' he thought again, the cell phone still in his hand. 'No, Griss, you can't do that. You can't do that to her. You're forcing her into a situation she doesn't really want to be in. And she doesn't need to be in this situation. You're lying to her to make yourself happy. Is this what you really want? Is this what you need? That's not the way you want to be with her. You want to be with her every day of your life, feel her around you, hear her around you. But you can't force this illusion. If she wants to be with you shemust be able to decide on her own free will. And not because you're lying to her.'

Grissom shook his head and dialed the number of American Airlines. 'She doesn't want to be with me and never will be. I can't make her happy the way she deserves it.'

He was ripped out of his thoughts by the voice on the other end of the phone. After a short talk he had booked their flight back to Las Vegas for the next afternoon, the earliest flight he could get. Then he closed his cell phone he turned around to the car.

'She seemed not too angry about the cancelled flight, maybe...' He shook the thoughts out of his mind and walked back to the car.

When he reached it he opened the door of the drivers seat again and climbed in. He took one last look atthe stillsleeping Sara and then shook her briefly. Sara blinked and then looked at Grissom. A small smile flew over her lips as she looked into his eyes.

"Hey", she managed to say.

"Did you sleep well?", he asked while watching her sit up in her seat.

"Well, yes. I have never slept that good in a car", she said with a still sleepy voice. She blinked again a few times then opened the door on her side of the car. She got out and streched. "How long are we here actually?", she asked while looking around. Grissom had parked the car next to the street from where she could see the small lake, surrounded by trees.

"We just got here", he told her. Then, after a short pause, he added "The airline called. We can go back tomorrow afternoon."

"Great" Sara said without turning around. "Griss, this is totally beautiful here.Let's just walk around a bit" and with that she walked in the direction of the lake. A little confused about her reaction Griss started to follow her. When he reached her he slackened his pace and walked next to her.

"Aren't you happy that we can go home tomorrow? I thought that your reaction would be a little more enthusiastic." Too late he realized what he had just said. Sara turned to look at him, standing still where she was. He looked into her eyes and his heart skipped a few beats.

"Why, Griss? Do you think I don't like to be here? With you? Do you think I can't wait to get home just to get away from you? I want to go home, yes, but I also like to be here. With you. But it's obviously just me who enjoys this here." She turned away from him and started walking. Grissom stared after her in shock. Too late he had realized that his comment, which was meant to be just a question, could hurt her again. That she understood it in a different way than he meant it.

And he couldn't even blame her. He had hurt her so often in the past just by saying the right things at the wrong time. Or the wrong things at the wrong time.

She walked away from him and he could see how angry she was from the way she moved. He hastened behind her, trying to catch up. Just as he reached her he noticed the single tear she hastily wiped away.

"Sara, that wasn't what I meant. It's just... Could you please stop walking and look at me?" The last words came out slightly cadged. She turned around, thousand words ready to come out of her mouth. But then she saw his expression. His eyes were looking despairingly at her, his left hand resting on her right arm. He looked so helpless Sara wasn't able to let one of her thoughts transform into words. This expression on his face touched her deep down in her heart. For a second she was able to see the real Grissom. With all his fears and hopes.

She sighed deeply and shook her head. "Grissom, it's... I'm sorry. I think I'm just putting everything you say on the scales. And sometimes I'm interpreting too much into things you say or don't say. It's just... It's not easy to get things in the correct way. So I guess you really just wanted to know if I'm not happy." She sighed again. "I am happy to go back Griss. But I also enjoy the time here, away from work, away from all the killing and adversity we see every day. Away from the hectic pace and all the lights of Las Vegas. And I am happy to be here with you."

With her last words she broke the eye contact with him and stared at her feet. Grissom let go of her arm and a small smile crossed his face. With his right hand he lifted her chin and forced her to look into his eyes again. "There's nothing you have to be sorry for. It's my fault. It's just so difficult to find the right words when you're around me. I always have the feeling to disappoint you, to hurt you once more. And I guess by acting the way I do I just do the things I want to avoid most. I never had the intention to hurt you or to make you feel responsible in any way."

All the anger and frustration had gone. Sara just stared into this deep blue eyes and felt lost once again. She just nodded and turned to continue her way down to the lake. They walked in silence for the next few minutes.

They had rounded half of the lake when they reached a toppled down snag. Sara sat down and stared on the water. The sun reflected on the surface and the ripples, created by the light breeze, made it sparkle like the surface of a diamond. She was lost in thoughts once again and Grissom sat next to her, his legs outstreched, his eyes focused on the sky. They sat there in silence for nearly half an hour when Sara began to speak.

"This is the first time in months I can sit next to you and don't have the feeling that I have to say something, you know? That it's ok to just sit next to you, to be near you."

Grissom looked at her confused and started to respond. She interrupted him with a small shaking of her head. "We were able to do this back in San Francisco. When we first met. And we were able to do this when you asked me to come to Vegas. The first few months of my time in Vegas we were really good friends. We could talk and laugh and just sit somewhere together just like we're doing now. I miss these times. What has changed Grissom? Why aren't we able to do all this now?"

He had a lot of answers in his mind. But none of them seemed to be the right one. So after a while he looked away from her and onto the water. "A lot of things have changed Sara. I don't know why or when, they just simply changed. I can't say that I'm happy with it. I miss the old times just as much as you do. But I fear that these times will never come back."

Sara stared at him and felt her heart beating faster. She was afraid of his answer to her next question. Just one word but it could destroy everything she had everdreamed of, everything she had ever fighted for.

"Why?"

Grissom sighed deeply. "Too many things happened, Sara. Too many things that have changed our lifes. When I asked you to come to Vegas it was because I needed someone I knew. Someone I could trust and who trusted me. When I asked you to stay and work for me it was because I was fascinated by your ambition, by your strong will, your desire to do everything that is possible to solve a case. Don't get me wrong I still admire all of this but I guess I somehow got used to it. I got used to you being there when I need you, to work more than anyone else in the lab. That's just a small part of the changes. Maybe the most unimportant one. What really changed is that I care for you. I care for you more than I should. Everytime you are out at a crime scene I hope you come back safely. That you come to my office to tell me that everything is alright and you'll bring the DNA to Greg and proceed the evidence. Sara, that's a line I... We cannot cross. We can't let our feelings control our work. At least I can't. The simple thought of you getting hurt on a crime scene makes me feel like loosing one of the most important things in my life."

Sara just stared at him. A single tear had formed in her eye and fell down her cheek. Grissom lifted his hand to her cheek and carefully wiped the tear away. Sara swallowed hard and continued staring at him. She could feel his hand on her cheek, the warmth of it spreaded all through her body. She wasn't sure if she felt horrible or better than ever before.

He had just admitted that he cared, more than he should. That she was important to him, more than anything else. And in the same sentence he had admitted that none of her dreams would ever become true. That he wasn't able to let his feelings take over control.

If he had told her that he wasn't interested in her or just respected her in a professional way she could have been able to deal with it. But now she knew, or at least it was what she thought he meant, that he felt something for her. Something that was more than only a professional interest. The certainty that he felt this way and didn't allow himself to get into it made it all even more complicated for her. How could she ever stop loving him when she knew that he loved her, too?

TBC