Ok we WILL write! Onward!

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters incorporated therewith.

Chapter Seven: Boys and their Dirty Minds

"My cock-and-bull story? Are you suggesting that I could possible want to do ANYTHING with you?" spat Snape.

"Why else would you hit on me?" retorted Harry.

"I, hit on you? Now that is just too much! Your ego is already large enough, with that fan club following you around. Why would I add to that already overflated head of yours?"

"That is it!" Harry raged. "I want to know what happened, and if you won't tell me, I'll just have to get it from you! Veritas!" He shot a truth spell at Snape, smirking as it hit its target. "What happened?"

"You came up on me and tried to get me to kiss you," replied Snape monotonously.

"WHAT!" yelled Harry. "Did you do something to me or put something in the drink?"

"No, but I suspect a love potion was placed in your tea."

Harry scowled. "The twins. I'll kill you both! And this time, I mean it! No Dumbledore in frilly purple robes and no contract will save you!" he muttered, but turned back to Snape. Snape, under a truth spell-- too good of an opportunity to waste! "Are you a…a queer?"

"No, I am currently seeing Sybill"

"Sybill….. Sybill Trelawney?" asked Harry, shocked.

"Of course!" was Snape's answer. Harry gagged. He didn't even want to begin to think what happened the two of them.

"That's just gross!" Harry replied.

"How so? It's just a relationship like any other." Snape reminded Harry.

"But, that's just disgusting, what could you two possible do... UH!" Harry said too much. He didn't have time to stop himself.

"Well, at first, we just held hands secretively, not wanting any of the students to know. Then it got more intimate with kissing on secret dates. Then, one night, our date got REALLY intimate and we crept into myprivate chambersand…" Snape started mumbling due to Harry's hand over his mouth.

"Oh, come on! We need to hear something! Today's been a bad day for me and I need to hear something that'll at least keep me from being depressed," Ron looked excited, up until Harry put his hands over Snape's mouth.

"Why would we? That's just… gross!" Neville replied, wringing his hands.

"Personally… I think it's kind of sweet. Snape deserves a girlfriend… doesn't he?" Hermione asked. Forks, knives, and spoons clattered on plates at the Gryffindor table. Neville fainted backwards, Ron choked up his food, and the twins' mouths fell open,half-chewed food visibleto the public.

"Oh come on. Everyone deserves to have a true love!" Hermione insisted.

"Not Snape! Snape hates everything! He's not supposed to have a heart, remember?" Ron replied, cleaning the food he coughed up on his shirt.

"Ron! Don't be so discriminatory!"

"But it's true! Just think, it's Snape! And that old bug, Trelawney! In bed together…" Ron trailed off, bad mental images flooding his mind.

"Ew… Ew… bad thoughts…" Ron said, burying his head in his hands.

"Ron!" sighed Hermione. "Boys and their dirty minds."

"Hiya Harry! I can't believe you're here! With me! We're on the Eiffel Tower! This is just so cool!"

"Just shut up, Colin!" muttered Harry exasperatedly.

"Oh, this is amazing! It's the best day of my life! You're so wonderful, Harry! I'm so glad we're on a date! Let me get my camera!"

Colin went to grab for his camera in his bag. But, before he could get it all the way out, Harry took it from his hands and threw it over the side.

"Uh… ok… no picture then. How about we just walk around then?" Colin asked, trying to contemplate the look on Harry's face.

"Yeah, alright." Harry replied, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Okey dokey then!" Colin skipped forward next to Harry. He sneakily stuck his hand in Harry's pocket and pulled their hands out together laced.

"COLIN! What the HELL are you doing?" Harry backed away, wiping his hand on his jeans.

"I have two things to tell you. One…. I love you. Two….." Colin muttered something incomprehensible.

A/N: Evil people aren't we? HAHAHA! Just having fun with a cliff hanger!