Part XVII: What You Don't See
Alex walked towards her car. As she settled down inside, she sat and stared at the steering wheel for a while. Breathing in deeply, she started the car's engine.
"I'm going to get through this. I just need time."
Then she drove off.
She was careful, despite the heavy burden she seemed to be carrying. Alex was smiling from time to time. She remembered Marissa: the day they first met, their first kiss and their first time.
"Good while it lasted."
Alex stopped the car as she arrived at her apartment. Kirsten and Sandy had to flight back home in Oklahoma. There was something about Seth and some school requirement for college. They had to help him out. Alex pulled out her back then locked the car. Walking up to the front door she was greeted by her neighbor.
"Hey Alex! Come by later! I'm having a party! You should come!"
"No thanks Katie. Say hi to Jessie for me." Alex smiled waving back.
"Sure. But if you change your mind, just drop by ok?" Her neighbor went back inside her own apartment.
Opening the door, Alex slowly dropped her bag on the floor. She rubbed the back of her neck as she walked to the living room.
"Maybe I can just have dinner next door so I don't have to cook."
Alex lay down on the couch. She rubbed her eyes. Staring at the ceiling, Alex muttered.
"Marissa…"
Alex closed her eyes. A single tear fell. Then she slowly drifted off to sleep.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Alex stirred as she heard someone at the door. She stood up. And took a peek. It was one of her neighbors, Jessie.
"Hey… Katie told me you were home. So I brought you this." Jessie handed Alex some pasta and chicken.
"I'll just transfer them to my plates. Come in. People around already?" Alex went to the kitchen.
"None yet. But they'll be there soon." Jessie walked with Alex.
"So how have you two been?" Alex asked as she took a plate.
"Good. Very good. We'll be going back to Chicago next week. Katie doesn't really like Boston that much. She likes being near our families." Jessie replied as she helped Alex.
"Well I feel the same way." Alex winked at Jessie.
"So… how's your lady friend?"
"Good. Um… She just told me I can't see her anymore. Well… I can't date her. I see her in school everyday." Alex shook her head laughing at the thought.
"Sometimes life is like that. You'll find someone." Jessie said.
"How did you end up with Katie? I mean… 5 years is pretty long."
"You just have to find that one who actually wants to make it work. The only reason relationships don't last is if you don't make an effort to. I know Katie and I have our ups and downs but, we take them together."
"Yeah well… Katie loves you a lot. And you love Katie too."
"I think your lady friend does too…"
"Well… She used to…"
"Then… that's her loss Alex."
Alex smiled.
"Here I'm done. And thank you for the food."
"There's more at our place. Just drop by ok?" Jessie gave Alex a slight pat on the back then left.
Alex took a few bites.
"Tastes great." Alex smiled then gobbled up the rest.
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When Marissa got home, she went straight to her room. She didn't feel like greeting her parents. Her heart was being pierced so deeply. She plopped to bed and buried her face on the pillows.
"I should be happy… This is what I wanted…" She mumbled under the pillows.
"Then why am I hurting? WHY?" Marissa cried.
She hurriedly dried her tears when she heard someone knock. It's Lindsay.
"Are you alright?" Lindsay sat beside Marissa's bed.
"I'm fine…" Marissa didn't look at Lindsay.
She just closed her eyes.
"Well… Ok… I'll be in my room if you need me." Lindsay stood up and closed the door as she left.
Marissa's head began to throb. Marissa turned to face the ceiling then she rubbed her forehead. Images of Alex rushed through her head. Like a slideshow, she remembered how Alex smiled, how she stood. She then remembered how Alex felt. Marissa stood up. She saw the sun disappear on the horizon as the sky grew dark.
"I'm so sorry…"
Then suddenly, Marissa felt the world spin. And before every thing else grew dark, Marissa saw one last image: the last smile Alex gave before she left that day.