So here's Chapter 8. I have more ideas so I will be writing more. Enjoy! and thanks for all the great reviews!

It was so obvious. Jamie was in love with Ranger. The way she talked about him, the way she looked at him, the way her eyes just lit up when he was around. I can't believe I didn't see it before. And that made me wonder what his feelings toward her were. Whoa. Ranger in love? I couldn't imagine it. I mean, he's told me he loves me in his own way…but is that the same thing? Jamie didn't notice I just had a revelation and was talking again.

"I know Tank's real name, ya know," she said, grinning evilly.

I came back to reality and looked at her, "really? What is it?"

"Sorry. I was sworn to secrecy." She grimaced. "Tank made it pretty clear that I couldn't tell anyone."

"OH COME ON. You can't bring up something and then not elaborate. Gossip doesn't work that way. Especially in the Burg. You HAVE to supply details."

"Well…when you put it that way…"

I narrowed my eyes. "So spill."

Jamie glanced around, "I really shouldn't…"

"TELL ME!"

She winced and covered her ears, "Jeez. You don't have to scream. I'm right here."

I just looked at her expectantly. "Well?"

"You can't tell Ranger you know or he'll tell Tank and Tank will kill me…or worse."

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. Tell me. Now."

Jamie sighed. "It's Patrick."

Ten second jaw drop.

"Steph? Are you still with us?"

"Patrick?"

"Yup."

"PATRICK!"

Jamie giggled. I giggled. We both giggled. And then it turned into outright laughter. We were leaning on each other, cracking up. People were staring, but who the hell cared? Tank's name was Patrick. We stumbled out of the store, still giggling. We giggled all the way to the food court and were still giggling when we sat down to eat. I had just stopped to breathe when my cell phone chirped.

"heehee Yo," I said, trying to fight the giggles.

Ranger was silent for a beat. "She told you Tank's real name, didn't she."

"Yup…heeheehee." How did he know that?

I heard a "WHAT!" in the background and winced. Jamie saw my wince and raised an eyebrow.

"GIVE. THE. PHONE. TO. JAMIE. NOW." said Tank, clearly with clenched teeth.

"Okay, Patrick, one second," I knew I would pay for that, but I couldn't resist. I handed the phone over to Jamie, who was looking even more confused. She put it up to her ear and said Howdy. Then she started grinning. And then laughing again.

"Whatever you say, Patty Cake," she said. She was silent for a minute, listening. "Yeah I know he's gonna hurt me. Sure." Ranger was back on.

"Tank says you're both going to pay. It's not a good idea to get on his bad side, Babe," said Ranger. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Well Tank needs to relax. What's up?"

"I heard about your apartment."

"Yeah it sucks like a bitch. So Jamie and I are at the mall shopping for new clothes."

"I figured. You have a place to stay?"

"I'm staying with Joe."

"Babe," he said and then hung up.

"That man needs to learn how to say goodbye." I said, dropping my phone into the black hole that was my bag.

"Tell me about it. One time I stayed on the phone for like five minutes before I realized he had hung up."

"One more thing, you called Tank Patty Cake?" I asked. It was a wonder this girl wasn't dead.

Jamie laughed at me. "Yeah and the first time I called him that he stuffed me into a dryer and trapped me inside with a big safe until I had apologized sufficiently. He was going to leave the safe on top of it all night, but Ranger came to my rescue."

That night saw me sitting on Morelli's couch, beer in one hand, piece of pizza in the other. Jamie was off avoiding Tank's wrath, and I was spending the night at Morelli's house.

"Have you found Jack Summer yet?" I asked. With A LOT of reluctance, Jamie described Jack and what he looked like and all that good stuff. Now the police were after him. Jamie told me that since he knew that she would never call the cops on him, he knew it had been me. This wasn't good. Now he would be after me. It wouldn't make a difference if Jamie left or not, because he would still be after me. And I thought it couldn't get any worse…silly me.

Morelli sighed. "We're working on it. How do you get into this stuff, anyway?"

"Hey it wasn't my fault."

"It never is."

"He was after Jamie originally…but I guess he likes me better now." That was one way to put it.

"Or hates you more." Said Morelli. Yeah that too.

"This sucks," I said, "Why can't I just lead a normal life? Why do all the crazies come after me? I'm a nice person. I don't kick puppies. I don't make fun of people to their faces. I don't cheat on my boyfriend. Why the hell are they always after me!"

I don't think Morelli was paying much attention because his hands were up my shirt and he was trying to release the clasp on my bra.

"I don't know, Cupcake but let's go upstairs and I'll take all your problems away."

Mmmm…

I slid out of bed at the crack o' noon. I would have been there longer if it hadn't been for the dog slime all over my face. I shoved Bob off of me and staggered into the bathroom where I stripped and showered. I stepped out of the shower into Morelli's room, dressed, hopelessly tried to tame my hair, and applied makeup. I was pretty freaked out about this whole Scary Man Trying To Kill Me thing, so I added extra mascara. I ate a healthy breakfast of orange juice and two Boston Crèmes while I read the paper. And lo and behold, there was my picture plastered on the front page, staring dumbstruck at my smoldered apartment. Morelli was in the picture, and so was Jamie.

I was standing on the sidewalk, alongside my Mini Copper with my keys in my hand. I was kind of afraid there was a bomb on it. I stood there for a minute and then called Jamie.

"Hello!" She was giggling and gasping for air. Hmm…

"Christ, what were you doing just now?" I asked.

She lowered her voice to a whisper, "I'm hiding from Tank. He's been chasing me all morning. I'm in a closet right now. What's up?"

I didn't answer right away. I honestly couldn't imagine Tank chasing anyone unless it was a felon or something. "Uh…Does Jack like to plant bombs?" I asked finally.

There was silence, and then a yell and lots of noise and "STOP!" Then the line went dead. Uh oh. It looks like Tank found her. I stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes and was just about to say screw it and get in my car when Jamie called back.

"Sorry. No, he doesn't plant bombs." She said. She sounded like she was in pain and having a hard time talking.

"What did he do to you?" I asked.

"You mean what is he doing to me? The hippo is sitting on me and I can barely breathe! He only let me call you back 'cause it involved your safety. I think Tank liiiiikes yoou!" This was followed by a smack and an 'OW FUCK!' and a disconnect. I got into the Mini Cooper and motored over to the office.

"Anything new come in?" I asked, walking through the door. Connie was doing her nails in a blood red, and Lula was doing what she did best—not filing.

"Yo girl, I saw your picture on the front page this morning. You need a place to stay?" Lula said to me. She was wearing the bright yellow fuax-fur jacket that shed yellow all over the place over a hot pick spandex shirt. But I liked her pants the best. They were tight and black and very leather.

"I'm staying with Morelli," I said, picking up a bunch of files from Connie's desk.

Connie and Lula exchanged glances, smiling. Ugh. Connie turned back to me and gestured toward the files I was looking through. "There's only a couple in there you might want," she said, "The rest are psychos."

I selected a file out of the pile and smiled at the name. Carol Cantell. The woman who robbed a Frito/Lay truck. I wondered what she did this time. I read through the file and smiled some more. This time she robbed a See's Candies truck.

"Why you smilin'? And who is this other girl in the picture?" Lula added, looking back down at the front page.

"Remember Carol Cantell? She robbed a See's Candies truck this time. And that's my sister Jamie in the picture."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"Well I do. And she knows Ranger better than me."

"Damn."

"I know. It's scary. So shall we?" I said, starting towards the door.

"Yeah but we ain't takin' the little Midget Car of yours. You'd never be able to fit a full bodied woman like me in one of them Midget Cars."

Lula and I rode in Lula's Firebird to Cantell's neighborhood head banging to Metallica. When we pulled up in front of her house, the first thing we noticed was her sister, Cindy, pacing the porch, occasionally banging on the door.

"Oh thank God you're here," Cindy said to us as we walked up to the porch, throwing her hands into the air. "After the Frito incident, who would have thought she would do it again? I thought she learned. I thought she got help for this kind of thing. I guess I was wrong!"