Title: Christmas at Hogwarts - Chapter 9: Kisses at Night
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Harry Potter, alas.
Specific to this chapter: This is a long chapter, starts off slow, but I like the way it ends. Of note...I do not know if Hershey Kisses are popular in Europe...as I'm not Brittish, and have not been there. Well, I've been to Europe but not Great Brittain. So I'm assuming. And I made up the word melty.
Notes: I am going to give a shout out to everyone who's reviewed me so far...holla!...(No I don't really talk like that.) To my signed in reviewers: Alateriel567 stackles hulahula, Viski, isugur-huny-bun, Graceful Lee, Elizabeth Elliot, where-my-heart-resides, agent715, WhiteCamellia, stocktonwood, kittyatza, Empress Andromeda, AshlyDaKid, and MGuidi, and to my anonymous reviewers: lilian,anoneemoose, Amscray,tRiXy leStRanGe, LIz, s fkjadlf, Lizz (don't know if both Liz's are the same) THANKS! You guys are awesome, I know a lot of you have posted multiple reviews...and I didn't really realize I could acknowldge ya'll till recently..so yay. And You've made me blush numerous times - in a good way.
Also, I've started school, so my updates may be more sporadic...now...but at least once I week I will try for.
Also, also, I've started a new fic about Snape/Lily (A bit of chance)...but it's not AU like this one, it's what I think could have happened...and from Snapes POV if you want to check that out...nothing too exciting has happened yet there, but plots get in my head, and I have to expell them.
Comments as always appreciated... (I hope you like this chapter, I did)
Chapter 9: Kisses at Night
Lily changed her direction on a split second impulse and headed for the dungeons. She passed a teacher on the way, and was positive that she would get in trouble, though she'd done nothing wrong. Not yet anyways. The teacher didn't give her a second glance.
There was something mildly dangerous about this. It was invigorating. She hurried down the great stone steps that lead to the dungeons. How strange it was that the Slytherins lived down here.
She was not exactly sure where she was going, but tried to remember the general direction. She found what looked like the correct corridor to the Slytherin Common Room. It was flanked with two angry looking gargoyles, and there was a painting of a sour looking man, which was the biggest indicator that she was in the right place. She figured he guarded their common room, just as a painting of a lady guarded hers. He admonished her, "You should not be down here this late, young lady."
She moved down the hall away from the painting. This place is kind of creepy. Lily shivered. And cold. Since she had no password or way to get in, she decided to stay and hope a Slytherin would walk by.
Lily waited for what felt like an eternity, but had probably only been a few minutes. She started thinking that this was a bad idea, and was just about to leave when a rather large Slytherin walked past. He must've been a sixth or seventh year, not unattractive, but brooding.
He sneered at her, "Lost, Princess?"
"No…I…would you mind getting someone in there for me?"
"Why should I do that?" he asked sinisterly, and edged closer to her, making her uncomfortable.
"I just…never mind," Lily turned to go.
"Leaving so soon, pretty?" The boy said, grabbing her wrist, "I don't even know your name."
Lily ignored the request, but she couldn't pull her wrist free, so she was stuck there for the moment. Her face came up to his chest. She saw the glint of his prefect badge. This is what passes for a Slytherin Prefect? Lily was horrified.
"Please, could you get Severus Snape for me?"
"Snape," he repeated the name, and released her wrist, "Ah." He looked like he realized something, "So you're the one…"
Lily felt embarrassed, and vaguely uncomfortable, but she was glad that he had let go of her. Lily wondered if he'd heard about the incident in the hallway. "What does that mean?"
He looked her up and down, "Why do you want a boy like that when you can have a man?"
Lily snorted, and blurted out, "Oh? You mean yourself?" She couldn't help the contemptuous tone in her voice, but she wondered if she'd stepped over the line.
To Lily's surprise the prefect stepped back. He looked embarrassed by her remark, and stuck his nose in the air. "You will have to go in and get him yourself if you want him then."
He turned from her, gave the password, and walked into the common room. Lily wasn't sure if she should follow. She was apprehensive about being in another house's common room, not that it was unprecedented, and did not know how Severus would react to her just barging in without being invited. Obviously this was a plan that I did not think out well, she lamented.
Against her better judgment Lily followed, timidly. She decided she could just peek in. She arrived in an enormous stone room that was grandiosely decorated. It was still hard, and uninviting. Luckily, though, it was much warmer in here than in the hallway. She looked around. Students were sitting around, doing homework, chatting, and other various things. Barely anyone looked up at her.
Some were already in pajamas. Lily was embarrassed by the thought that Severus might be in pajamas. It was a stupid thing to worry about, but it seemed the type of thing that would put him in a bad mood. It could be uncomfortable. She looked around and didn't see him anywhere though.
The Slytherin Prefect sat down with a group of students. He said something, no doubt about Lily, and they began laughing. He glanced back at her disapprovingly. She was catching more notice now. She felt like an intruder. I am an intruder. She decided to leave.
"Why are you here?" a pretty eyed Slytherin girl asked, roughly. She was sitting in a group of girls, studying at a table in front of the fireplace. They all looked young, perhaps first years.
"Oh, stop it, Pamela," her friend elbowed her, and smiled, "That's Lily Evans."
"Oooh!" another girl said as if she'd just heard some tremendously good gossip, "She must be here to see Snape."
The table giggled. Lily was very uncomfortable. Obviously a lot had been getting around about her and Severus. It was strange. She couldn't tell if people approved or disapproved, but it was certainly entertaining for them.
"Yes," Lily said, "Do you know where he is?"
The girls chuckled some more. A couple of them shook their heads, and one of them nodded but was laughing too hard to tell her. Lily crossed her arms, and waited with annoyance.
The laughing-nodding girl finally pointed toward the stairs to he dorms. Standing in the doorway was Severus. He had been watching her, but turned away quickly when he'd been spotted. She managed to glimpse a cockeyed grin. A moment later his face was inscrutable. He approached her, almost warily. Lily was just relieved that he wasn't wearing pajamas. He was still properly dressed from head to toe in his school robes.
The table of girls giggled some more. Severus looked uncertain of what to say, or what to make of the cluster of silly girls. Lily found herself in a similar predicament. She wanted to see him, but she couldn't remember why. She just was happy he was here. She couldn't think of one intelligent thing to say. They hadn't talked since he'd asked her out to the Ball. This is very awkward.
"I…I waited in the library for you tonight," Lily stumbled over her words.
Severus looked confused, and then embarrassed as if he'd forgotten their date. Although, or course, they had no date.
Lily hurried on, "I mean, I know we weren't supposed to meet. I was just hoping…" The girls were stifling their snickering now, and listening to every word. Lily wished that they were somewhere else, away from an audience.
"Shall we go outside?" Severus asked, more softly than usual, and in perfect accord to what Lily was thinking.
Lily nodded, and they walked out of the common room into the chilly dungeons. Lily hugged herself tightly with a slight shudder.
Snape eyed her, and looked suddenly alarmed, "I…I should. If only I had something…a scarf or a coat…that's what I'm supposed to do…it would be the proper thing." He was stammering like she'd never seen him. He held out his hands hopelessly, and scowled. "Maybe I could go get something." He looked toward the door.
"No, I'm okay, don't…" Lily just wanted him to stop. It was like he didn't know how to act now. Which, she supposed that she didn't really know how to act now either. This was more complicated than she'd imagined. They walked down the cold corridor, while Severus still looked distressed.
Severus was subdued when he spoke again, "What did you need?"
Lily had no answer. She didn't need anything. She had only come down (to kiss him?) to see him, and had not thought about anything beyond that. "I just wanted to see you." That sounds so stupid.
He blushed though, just a bit, but she saw it, and then he hid his face in his hair. She could feel discomfort radiating off of him. He was only at ease being disagreeable and couldn't adapt to this new situation.
"Oh!" he said, fumbling around in his pockets. He looked relieved to have something to say, "I forgot. I saved this for you." He pulled out some small metallic wrapped candies. "They're from Dumbledore actually, but I don't really like them –" he paused as if he'd said something wrong, but continued, "They're your favorite."
Lily didn't even recall telling him that they were her favorites. What an obscure thing for him to remember. She felt her heart skip a beat. How very touching. She carefully took the candies from him, which were a little warm and melty from being in his pocket.
"Thanks," she said, "I'll save these." And she meant it. She intended to save them forever, in her jewelry box where she kept things that were precious to her.
He was being sweet. He normally was, in truth, but when you pulled off the rough exterior it was more apparent. The only kiss they'd shared was barely even a kiss. She remembered suddenly why she went to visit Severus in the first place. How she longed for a real kiss. Now that she was here, she didn't think she had the nerve.
There was a very long silence, and Lily felt the tension growing. If she didn't say something to him soon, she felt she might burst.
"So," She said, to say anything, "I hoped you would come to the library tonight."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I had to study for Transfiguration…. Of course, I would have rather gone to the library with you, but I didn't think of it." He looked as if he was silently berating himself for not thinking of it.
"Maybe…" Lily was hesitant, "Maybe we could study tomorrow together. In the library, like a date…" They'd never been together in public before. She didn't know how he'd react. He'd asked her to the Yule Ball, but were they dating?
"Ok," he said. She thought he was going to say more, but he didn't.
They talked about classes for a while, and Lily began to grow very cold. She was reluctant to have the night end though. In spite of everything, it had been wonderful to spend time like this. She shivered slightly, and Severus noticed this with concern. She knew he was going to insist that they go back to their respective dorms.
He turned toward her, and tentatively took her trembling right hand in his two. She felt a wave of emotions, tenderness, lust, fear, happiness, sadness, but the overwhelming emotion was anxiety. It was…strange, as if it wasn't her feelings. The sensation faded a bit as he warmed her hand inside of his, which honestly weren't much warmer than the freezing dungeons. He took her other hand and repeated the gesture. She felt that curious rush again, feeling for a moment more nervous than she had before, and those other slight feelings. She felt the emotions, but it was as if they weren't inside of her.
Lily tried to look at Severus, but he wouldn't meet her eyes, instead he stared blankly down at her hand. When he released it, she felt a chill, and this time not from the temperature. A moment just passed between us. I don't understand it, but it was more intimate than a kiss.
Now she wanted more than ever to kiss him. She could tell it wasn't going to happen though. She just sensed it. She frowned slightly.
"I should walk you up to your common room," he said suddenly, as if the idea just occurred to him.
"Don't be silly. Besides, if we are caught together we will be in more trouble."
Lily couldn't tell if Severus looked hurt or disappointed. Either way, he tried to hide it. She wished he could walk her to her dorm. It would be nice, and much warmer, but it didn't make sense for them to get in trouble. It must be really late now, way after curfew.
"Severus…" she asserted, "I'm serious. It's sweet of you, but it's very late."
He nodded a little. "Well, I will walk you out of here." He motioned to the dungeons. She had hoped that he would hold her hand, but he didn't. It seemed he might be warming up to the idea when he'd taken her hands in his, but he'd made no other effort to touch her. He had his arms crossed.
They reached the giant staircase. Lily turned to say goodbye.
"I'm going to walk you up the stairs, at least," Severus stated, as if she had almost sullied his honor. When they reached the top of the stairs, he followed her a bit farther, and Lily allowed him to so that he didn't get that wounded look again. He was telling her something about Charms. She didn't interrupt him.
The next thing that Lily knew they were up at the Gryffindor Common Room. Severus, being the self-willed person that he was, escorted her all the way. Perhaps he didn't want the evening to end either. She barely remembered that she'd asked him not to come, or even why.
She smiled nervously, "Well, thank you. I would invite you in, but…"
"I know," Severus said sulking, "it would be embarrassing."
"No…it's not that, it's just late," Lily said, although secretly she didn't want another scene with Potter if he was around. She didn't want to have to confront Potter, or Remus. Remus Lupin floated back into her mind, and her stomach sank. She involuntarily felt the electric touch between them again. She gave Severus a guilty smile.
He looked at her doubtfully, and for a moment she thought he knew about Remus, which was absurd. The guilt was getting to her. Obviously, the doubt reflected in his eyes was that he suspected she was lying. "No, really," she insisted, "You can come visit, some other time. I would love it, in fact."
She felt like she was overcompensating, and the suspicion didn't disappear from Severus' face, though he nodded once. She couldn't believe she was just so disloyally thinking of Lupin when they'd had such a pleasant evening. Severus was the one she wanted.
"Myself, I would have asked you out, if he wasn't my best friend…"
Why were Lupin's words floating back to her right now? This was frustrating. She wished he'd never told her that. She cared so strongly for Severus, and didn't like the distraction. She looked back at Severus. She wished he would kiss her.
"Well," Severus said, leaning forward on his toes. He seemed to not know what to do with his hands; he put them in his pockets, "I will go now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
He leaned forward and for an instant Lily thought he was surely going to kiss her. Instead, he took his hand from his pocket and squeezed something into her palm, smiling weakly. She watched him leave.
She opened up her hand to reveal another candy wrapped in silver. He had, after all, given her a 'kiss' of sorts. She walked into her common room feeling buoyant, only to be met by Potter.
-end chapter 9-