A/N: This chapter's a good one. You'll see why. ;-)
Chapter IX: The Ultimate Sacrifice
Zell's screams of agony and pain fell on deaf ears as Irvine's cronies kicked and punched him as he rolled helplessly on the dirty apartment floor. After what seemed like an eternity, the beating ceased, and through the racing of his own heart and struggled breaths, he heard footsteps approaching him as Irvine bent down.
Through blurry eyes, Zell saw the hunting knife come into view and came close to his face.
"You fuckin' cunt..I ought to give ya the same scar your little hubby used to have..seems like that mark really conducts electricity!" He scoffed, and his thugs bursted into hysterics. "Then we'd see who's really the most flaming fag on the street, eh?" He finished, which caused a fresh wave of laughter from the other men.
"P-please.." Zell spat out weakly. "I'll get you the rest of your money tonight, I promise.."
"Fuckin' right you will!" Irvine screamed, grabbing Zell's hair. "I'm comin' back over at midnight tonight, and if you don't have the other 500 I'll make a fine example out of you and send a clear message to the rest of my whores." He finished coldly, and spit on Zell's face.
And with that, Irvine and his thugs walked out the front door of the apartment.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful for Seifer. Rinoa left at noon to go have her bridal shower with her family. She had joked to Seifer that she hoped her baby shower would follow shortly thereafter.
Seifer hoped she was wrong.
Going into the engagement, Seifer had had his doubts about the relationship's potential, and this whole Zell situation had managed to make him even more doubtful about his commitment to Rinoa.
Thoughtlessly flipping through the channels on TV, Seifer caught a glimpse of the clock. It was 7PM already.
Realizing how long Rinoa had been gone, he made the conscious decision to stop waiting for her. Usually if Rinoa wasn't back in an hour or two, then whatever she was doing would end up taking her all day. She wasn't simply talkative and slow because she was a woman; she was talkative and slow because she was Rinoa.
With a yawn, Seifer stood up and grabbed his coat. He headed out the door with the plan to grabe a bite to eat at the nearby café, but he figured he might drop by and say hello to someone while he was out...
Zell took a long drag from his cigarette as he stared at the clock. The seconds slipped away, falling through his fingers. 500 gil in 5 hours...where would he ever get that much money?
"Nowhere..." He answered himself sullenly. Not that it mattered, anyway. So what if he got the money? Then he'd be back to square one, stuck in a pathetic excuse for a life selling his body for rent money. It was no life to live, so the realization that this was the last day of his young life shouldn't have been so sad to him.
But nevertheless, it was sad.
He felt like he had unfinished business. Or maybe he just didn't want to accept that it was his fate to fade out like this. He'd clung helplessly to the hope that yesterday's hero really wasn't today's garbage, but maybe that was the sad truth of it all. Maybe appreciation, thankfulness, and love are temporary emotions, especially the last one. Maybe the whole love thing was just a grown-up version of Santa Claus, just a myth we've been fed since childhood.
But he wasn't innocent in all this. Sure he was down on his luck, but Zell thought he'd turned away plenty of help from others already. Maybe his guilt and his shame was what caused him to bitterly turn Seifer away. The truth seemed so clear now; deep down, even though he'd tried so hard to deny it, Zell didn't believe in life after love. Because after Squall died, nothing truly good had come in his life.
Except Seifer...
Not that any of that mattered now though. It was all over, and soon things would finally be put to rest. Zell put his head in his hands and cried.
However, his tears were cut short when there was a knock on the door. Wiping his eyes and standing up, Zell warily approached the door. Was Irvine back already? It wouldn't surprise him...Irvine was usually pretty impatient.
Summoning his strength, Zell opened the door, expecting the worst.
He had to look up slightly to recognize the taller man. It was Seifer.
Seifer looked down at the smaller man in a stunned silence as he saw the black eye on Zell's face. He opened his mouth to speak, but the younger man quickly raised a finger to Seifer's lips and pulled him inside.
Shutting the door behind him, Zell walked Seifer further into the apartment, a look of despair on his face.
"Zell, what the hell happened to you?" Seifer finally said in shock, finding his voice.
Shaking his head and fighting back tears, Zell closed his eyes. "Nothing, it doesn't matter. Not anymore, anyway."
"What are you saying?" Seifer asked with sincere concern.
Zell had to turn away to hide his mounting emotion. "I...very soon, I'm not going to be around anymore." He said, his voice breaking off towards the end.
There was a hanging moment of silence between the two. It was Seifer who eventually broke it.
"So...does that mean you won't be coming to the wedding?" He asked bluntly, and immediately realized how inconsiderate and selfish he sounded.
Seifer saw Zell's shoulders sag weakly.
"Yeah...I guess it does..." Zell said in a very quiet voice.
Shaking his head, Seifer took a step towards him. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong, Zell...I...I don't want you to leave. I...don't want you to leave me." He said weakly, forcing himself to admit his feelings to both Zell and himself.
"Oh Seifer!" Zell cried, turning around and throwing his arms around the larger man. "I wish I could tell you what was going on!" He cried.
"Zell...you can tell me anything." Seifer said softly, stroking Zell's hair gently.
"That's just it though...I can't. I just can't." Zell sobbed, his small body trembling with emotion. "I can't get you involved, and..."
Seifer cut him off with a frantic, passionate kiss. Zell returned the kiss, throwing his arms around Seifer's neck and letting himself be absorbed in the sheer futility of it all.
Inside, Zell was screaming, desperately trying to make his body tell Seifer the things he was unable to do with words.
Not disconnecting from their forbidden liplock, Seifer and Zell quickly disrobed, their clothes falling onto the floor effortlessly.
Seifer groaned loudly behind the kiss as Zell slipped his tongue into his mouth in burning, loving passion.
The two fell to the floor, embraced in each other's arms. Seifer ran his hand over Zell's finely tuned torso, noting to himself how amazing it was that Zell kept himself in such great shape.
Zell whimpered softly into Seifer's ear and trembled with anticipation. He wanted this. He wanted this more than anything he could've thought of. He didn't care that he would soon be dead; he just cared about letting himself slip into the black hole of love, an all-encompassing plane of existence where nothing mattered, where it was safe and warm.
They locked lips again, and Seifer moaned deeply into this kiss. He wanted this to, he wanted to embrace this man, this man who had awoken in him the kind of emotions he'd never felt. Zell made him feel alive, it awoke him from the dull drudgery of life with Rinoa.
Seifer broke the kiss and smiled down at the smaller man. "I promise I will make this as comfortable as I can.." He said soothingly, and spit into his hand. He lowered the wet palm down down and coated his bulging tool. Grabbing Zell by his ankles, Seifer lifted him up slightly, allowing him to slip between the small man's legs and gain entry.
Zell made a faint gasp as Seifer entered him, and he looked up to his lover's grinning face. This was so much different than his average-night trick...that was just screwing, but this was making love. He gasped again, and slowly lowered his head and closed his eyes as Seifer began a slow rhythm in and out.
It was passion. Not your every-day movie passion, but a true, deep passion, that went to the very core of their souls. It was suddenly as if they were transformed into innocent young lovers, in a giddy mood as they ran through the garden of love, stopping to smell each fragrant flower.
Seifer's pace quickened, and Zell could feel that he was close to release. Zell bucked back in forth underneath Seifer as his body took control.
"Oh hyne..oh HYNE!" Zell screamed, digging his fingers into Seifer's arms. This spark of pain pushed Seifer over the edge, which caused a low groan to come out of his mouth as he released into his new lover.
With a heavy gasp, Seifer collapsed downward, barely having the energy to make sure he didn't land on poor Zell, who also was also reeling from the explosive orgasm.
The two men lay there, panting next to each other silently. After a moment of recovery, Seifer turned on his side, facing Zell.
"That was...the best I've had." He managed to choke out.
"Better than Rinoa?" Zell asked slyly. This caused Seifer to giggle.
"Forget Rinoa..." The bigger man said, gazing into Zell's eyes. "I bet you won't be leaving now though, huh?" He asked, sure of himself.
Zell's smile faded, and he sat up. "I'm sorry..." Zell said, and stood up. "But...I think this is the last time I'll ever see you." His voice cracked and his spirits once again fell. The spell had been broken.
"What!" Seifer snapped, deeply hurt by the sudden rejection. "Why can't we see each other again!"
There was a pause. "Because..." Zell started, thinking of an answer. "Because...you're going to marry Rinoa! If you left her, then I would be called a homewrecker! Can't you see my life is already awful enough!" He began to shout towards the end, tears streaming down his face. He knew these words would hurt Seifer, which was truly the last thing he wanted to do.
Seifer stood up, his eyes on the floor. "I don't believe this..." Seifer mumbled weakly. "I just bared my soul to you, I even expressed my love for you...and now you're just going to throw that all away!" He spat, his eyes also filling with tears.
"Just get out!" Zell screamed, the pain becoming nearly unbearable.
"Oh, I'll get out. You...you animal! That's all you are, Zell. An animal, you stopped being human a long time ago, because a human wouldn't toss someone's feelings aside like you! You're a beast. And who could ever learn to love a beast!" Seifer screamed, grabbing his clothes and marching out the front door.
Zell put his head in his hands. It hurt beyond words, but maybe this was best. Maybe, if Seifer hated him now, he could better cope when Zell gets killed. Best case scenario...maybe he wouldn't even care.
The thought made Zell feel nauseous.