The Three Different Types Of Stalking:
1) Intimate Partner Can be a sexually intimate partner or someone who feels they are very close to a person. Must have some kind of knowledge to their victims habits. May become delusional if replaced or made to feel insignificant.
2) Delusional Thinks that things are more than they seem with their victim. Has a tendency to make up fantasies/lie out right concerning their victim and how close they really are.
3) Vengeful Feels as thought victim is purposely ignoring them. Most dangerous and unstable. Prone to violence toward their victim.
DELUSIONAL
Dougan smiled at his attentive listeners. All of them were wided eyed and hanging onto his every word as he spoke. "It's true, I swear it!"
"No way...you a sanzo priest? Wow..."
His smile widened. Why else would Master Sanzo keep him still? Especially with that pathetic Son Goku running around like his servant! No, Master Sanzo clearly had bigger and better things for him! "He even let me touch his sutra!"
The awed gasps went around like wild fire. Even Ryokan was starting to believe him. Okay, se he never actually touched the sutra. But he DID see it almost every day! It was the same thing...mostly. After that disastrous first bath, Goku was no longer allowed to to that. Which meant he was the only one allowed to besides Master Sanzo himself. And Dougan made certain that never happened! Just like he made sure he took Master Sanzo's food to him personally, did all his laundry himself. Everything! Master Sanzo would see how very loyal he was, how very obediant. And then...he would be rewarded further. He still held that image of Master Sanzo with his robes down, the black leather serving only the accentuate the flawless perfection that was him. So perfect...so beautiful. Even a year later, he still dreamt of it!
Snapping out of his daze, he laughed and said, "Yes, well, I always knew that Goku wasn't anything more than a slave to help free my time up for further study. I mean, I HAVE to know my stuff for when he takes me on his next trip."
"So tell us again...did he REALLY...you know..." Nushi's voice trailed off, his cheeks going scarlet.
Dougan smiled blissfully. Those dreams were so real! He'd told everyone about them, how he knew exactly what it would be like. And if they decided to take them as fact...well, who was he to say otherwise? "Oh, yes! Several times in fact!"
Another boy nudged his friend, eyes going dark and angry. "Look, it's that disgusting little creep!"
Dougan turned and saw it was indeed Son Goku, trudging in from the outside with mud caked all over him and grinning like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. How did Master Sanzo tolerate that animal? He froze when Goku came right up to them. "Hey! You guys seen Sanzo?"
No one spoke to him. They just glared at him, hoping he would get the point and just go away.
He didn't. In fact, he had the nerve to hit Dougan's shoulder like they were friends. "I bet you have, huh? So, where is he? Somebody said he was lookin' for me."
Master Sanzo...was looking for HIM? But...Feeling the eyes on him Dougan said haughtily, "You must be mistaken. I'm Master Sanzo's apprentice. Clearly he would be looking for me, not you."
Goku looked confused. Not exactly a hard thing to do. He thought about it for a long time. "Mmm...maybe. Hey! Let's go ask him together!"
"T-Together?" Oh, no...
"Yeah! I wanna see Sanzo anyway! And we can find out who he was askin' for at the same time!"
Dougan swallowed heavily, but nodded. "Fine. That's just fine. But you're wasting your time, Goku. Master Sanzo definately called for me."
"Why, is it laundry day or somethin'?"
He...He was going to beat that face in! Just who did he think he was? He had know IDEA how important he was to Master Sanzo! "Let's just get this done and over with! I'm far too busy being useful to Master Sanzo for this childish behavior!"
"Um...okay." Goku looked confused, but didn't say another word.
Dougan shoved his way forward, purposely avoiding contact with Goku. He didn't want a trace of whatever was on the imbecile to get on him! He led the way into the temple, head high and shoulders back. This was probably it! Master Sanzo was finally going to ask him along on a quest! it was probably something dangerous and exciting, where he would be needed to protect Master Sanzo's life. And Master Sanzo, being so thankful would...Dougan couldn't help the blush or the smile when he thought of how he would be rewarded. And it would happen, too. At long last, he would finally get what he wanted!
They went straight to Master Sanzo's office. It was a little after lunch. He always did paperwork after lunch for an hour or so...unless he had none to do. But he almost always did. Dougan was about to knock on the door when Goku pushed passed him and just opened it, running in. "Hey..." It was too late though.
"SANZO! SANZOSANZOSANZO!"
Master Sanzo was behind his desk, doing paperwork just as Dougan knew he would be. "What do you want?" he asked, glancing up at the brat.
Dougan waited patiently by the door. He knew Master Sanzo hated people barging in. He would remain where he was and be patient...
"Were you lookin' for me or Dougan? Cuz someone said you were lookin' for me and then I asked-,"
"Can it. You're annoying me to the point where I might have to kill you."
Goku put his head on the desk. Right on some papers. Dougan's eyes went wide. But...he was so DIRTY! Did he have no respect for Master Sanzo? Well, clearly compared to his level of devotion and admiration for the man, anything Goku was feeling was insignificant. "So, whaddya want?"
"Not you," Master Sanzo said, lips twisted into a digusted sneer. He pulled the top paper from the pile, pinching it between two fingers like it was a snake. "I asked for Dougan. Now get out."
"Okay! BYEEE!" Goku ran out the door, waving.
Dougan still stood rooted to the spot. He...he had been summoned! This was it, this was it! he could hardly breath as he stood and waited, shifting from one foot to the other anxiously. He knew Master Sanzo wouldn't send for that brat! He knew it, and he was right.
Master Sanzo stood up and came from around his desk, taking off his reading glasses. "Well, are you going to come in or just prop the door open?" he asked.
Dougan shut the door after himself and walked in, shaking all over. He had to keep remembering to breath the entire time.
"Dougan I have an important task for you."
"Anything, Master Sanzo. Just name it!"
Was...was that a flicker of a smile? He had just made Master Sanzo...smile? Tears pricked his eye. This HAD to be the best day ever!
Master Sanzo held out a gold card. Dougan frowned. What...this was just the banking card for the temple. Why would he...?
"I'm out of cigarettes. Get a box so it lasts longer." Master Sanzo went around behind his desk again to continue working.
Dougan stared at the little bit of plastic and felt his heart just shatter into his sandals. An errand? He, Dougan, Master Sanzo's valuable apprentice, was being sent on a stupid errand? He wanted to cry. He wanted to run and hide forever. He wanted...
He wanted to kill Son Goku for getting between them.
Master Sanzo looked up, frowning. "What's wrong?"
Shaking his head a little to clear it of the painful ways Son Goku could die, he said, "Oh, I was just thinking, Master Sanzo..."
He arched a golden brow threateningly. Oh, right, finish the sentence!
"Well, maybe this task would be better for someone else...say Son Goku? I mean, while it IS a great honor and all-,"
"Spare me the details. I need cigarettes. You know what I smoke and that a box doesn't mean just one pack, it means a box of twenty-four. Goku would fuck it up and end up buying food. If you don't feel it 'worthy' of you, I can always find someone more accomodating-,"
"NO! No, I'll do it, Master Sanzo! I was just thinking that maybe my time would be better served doing other things." Like helping him...in any way he desired.
Master Sanzo just watched him from under thick lashes. "Right now, I don't need anything else from you. Do you remember what brand?"
Dougan looked at his feet and nodded. Yes, he did. He remembered everything Master Sanzo said. "I'll be back soon, Master Sanzo."
Master Sanzo never said anything to that. Dougan shut the door behind him and leaned against it, letting his breath out in a long sigh. Well, there WAS an upside to this! Master Sanzo had pretty much admitted that Goku was completely useless! And even if it wasn't a holy mission like he'd thought, this was still a very important task for Master Sanzo, one trusted only to him. Yes...that was it!
He was just leaving the temple compound when he heard a hiss from the shrubs by the gate. Nushi and Kansan, two of his peers, were waiting there with big excited eyes. "So?" Nushi whispered.
Oh...they thought it was a REAL mission! Oh, no...Dougan smiled. "Master Sanzo said he could only trust me with this mission. I have to hurry, though. He wants me back by tonight."
Nushi and Kansan exchanged looks of complete shock. "Whoa..."
He nodded, rocking back on his heels a bit. "It's a top secret assignment, though. I can't get into the details of it."
"That...that's so COOL!"
Dougan left them whispering in the hedge and hurried down into the nearby village on his "secret mission".
When Dougan came back later, the entire temple was in an uproar. People were gathered in the courtyard and the hallways, all talking excitedly. Nushi and Kansan beckoned him over, eyes now ready to pop from their heads. "What happened? What's going on?"
"The sanbutsushin summoned Master Sanzo," Kansan whispered. "They just finished and he went to his quarters with Son Goku."
The sanbutsushin? That could only mean one thing..."Master Sanzo is going to need me!" He pushed through the crowds of people and went straight for Master Sanzo's room. He paused outside the door, trying to control his emotions. Son Goku...no, he wouldn't take him. Would he? He couldn't even rely on the pest to buy cigarettes! He knocked sharply and waited.
"Who is it?"
"It's...It's Dougan, Master Sanzo. I've come to help you." In whatever way, shape or form.
"Come in."
Dougan stepped inside, coming to a hault when he saw that, indeed, Master Sanzo was packing a travel bag. Swallowing heavily, he said, "I have your cigarettes, Master Sanzo."
Master Sanzo held a hand out for them, not even looking back. Dougan shut the door and went over, putting the box in his hand. "Good timing, kid. We're about to leave."
"We". He'd said, "We're about to leave"! He smiled happily and all but bounced up and down. "I'll be quick to pack, Master Sanzo!"
He looked up at that, stopping halfway from lighting a cigarette. "Come again?"
Dougan felt his smile slip a little. "But...but you said 'we'. I only assumed that..."
The door flew open and Goku came charging in, bag over his shoulder. "YEAH! ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!"
No...no, it couldn't be true! Master Sanzo...he was...ABANDONING HIM! Not again, not again!
Master Sanzo scowled at the boy jumping around like an idiot. He tossed his bag to Goku and said, "Go down to the gate and wait for me. It's a long walk."
Goku threw both bags down and pouted. "I HATE walking! Why do we have to walk?"
Dougan winced when Master Sanzo smacked Goku on the back of the head. "You don't know how to ride a horse and there aren't any trains going in to the place we're going, that's why! Now shut up and start moving, or I WILL be leaving you behind!"
"Okay, okay! That really hurt, you know!"
"I know. It was supposed to."
Goku grabbed their bags and left grumbling.
Dougan stared after him and felt...despair. Hopelessness. Hatred that was starting to turn toward Master Sanzo...no, he didn't hate Master Sanzo. "Master Sanzo, are you sure I can't be of any use to you on this mission?" he asked softly.
"Very sure. We'll be back in two weeks, tops. That stock of red wine in the cellar is running low. Other than that, do whatever you want." He watched as Master Sanzo waited at the door for him to leave so he could lock it up.
Forcing a smile, Dougan said, "I can lock up, Master! Besides, I haven't cleaned in here yet."
"Hmph. Fine." The door shut behind him, leaving Dougan all alone in his room.
Dougan waited until he heard the outer gates shut and then dissolved into tears. Where was he incapable? What was he doing wrong? He had the highest academic marks out of all the students. He was working on advanced talismans with the promise of learning the art of the shikagami. He knew three different styles of martial arts. And he was loyal, so loyal! So what was it about Son Goku that Master Sanzo found so much more appealing? True, the boy was strong, but he was loud, annoying, dirty and at best unreliable.
This...this was unacceptable! All he had to do was wait, though. Son Goku would do all the damage himself. While he never wished harm on Master Sanzo, he did truly hope this mission failed because of Goku. Master Sanzo would realize that Son Goku was nothing more than a common street urchin, fit for menial tasks. Smiling in anticipation for their not-so-triumphant return, Dougan left the room, locking it up.
Dougan flopped back on the bed, inhaling deeply of the pillows. They still smelled like him, he thought happily. Master Sanzo...He would be back any time now. Word of his arrival two towns over had already spread to the temple. He would be back this afternoon for sure! Which gave Dougan only a little more time to himself in Master Sanzo's room. He had spent all his free time in here, every last second of it, just soaking in the atmosphere of the room. He'd lit the candles and unrolled the meditation mat. He'd even gone through Master Sanzo's clothing (to check for tears, he reminded himself)...and found some old robes he no longer wore. One of them was on Dougan now as he hugged a pillow. Master Sanzo...
In the two weeks he'd been gone, Dougan had felt alone, empty. He had nothing to stare at, no one to talk to. And even when he slept, all he could think about was Master Sanzo...in the black leather...or even better, that time he'd walked into the wide training area and saw him sparring...granted, it was with Goku, but he could just imagine...
He sat up quickly when he heard the shout. His eyes flew to the window. Here already? But...but they weren't supposed to be here until...Oh, wait it WAS the afternoon. He'd spent all day in Master Sanzo's room and not realized it! He quickly took the old robe off and very carefully put it back exactly as he'd found it, blowing out the candles and opening the window to let the smoke out. he smoothed any wrinkles from the bed and double checked everything. Yes...it was exactly as it was before. Master Sanzo would never know!
Dougan quickly left the room, locking it behind him and ran down the halls to the courtyard. Master Sanzo was just coming up to the temple. He froze, the loathing filling him. Son Goku! HE was still here! So, that meant the mission...
There was a man walking behind Master Sanzo. His right eyes was bandaged up and there was the saddest smile on his face. Was this...Dougan had heard the rumors about why Master Sanzo was sent away. THIS man, the one who looked so sad, was the murderer Cho Gonou? He didn't LOOK like a murderer...but maybe that wasn't a sad smile. Maybe he was happy he'd killed so many people.
Dougan ran up to Master Sanzo, who glanced his way. He'd forgotten almost how incredible those eyes were up close! "Master Sanzo, you're back! I'll get a bath around for you right away!"
"Don't bother," Master Sanzo said. Two monks were waiting at the top of the stairs. They were the guards who served the sanbutsushin. One took Cho Gonou's arm and held him while the other clapped chains to his wrists.
"What's all this?" Master Sanzo sounded a little angry.
"Our orders were to secure the murderer," one of the guards said.
"That's not necessary."
Cho Gonou smiled kindly. Kindly? He was a MURDERER! Murderers did NOT smile kindly! "It's alright, really. I don't mind."
Master Sanzo didn't respond to that. He turned to look back...at Goku. "Goku, get my bag to my room."
"But you always lock it," Goku complained.
Dougan smiled. Yes, he always did. And only one other person had the key...
"Get the key from Dougan then."
Dougan's heart stopped. Literally. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough. Goku came up, smiling, and held his hand out. Cheeks burning, feeling all the eyes in the compound on him, he slowly reached into his pocket and handed over the key to Goku.
"Thanks! Bye now!" Goku went running up the stairs, shoving passed Master Sanzo rudely.
Dougan only stood rooted to the spot as he watched Master Sanzo, the prisoner and the guards all go inside. What...what had just happened? WHY had he given that key to Goku? He could have just taken the bags himself. Clearly, waiting for Goku to mess up wasn't working. It was time he and Master Sanzo had a talk. Master Sanzo needed to understand how important Dougan was for him. It was obvious now that when it came to knowing a person's worth and ability, Master Sanzo wasn't so great.
No, wait, what was he saying? Master Sanzo was the greatest monk ever! They were close, brothers almost. He...He
He loved Master Sanzo. More than anything. And he knew that if Master Sanzo had any idea how Dougan felt, he would reciprocate. Yes, Master Sanzo DID love him! He knew he did!. Master Sanzo just didn't want to admit it. He would see love as a weakness and thus ignore it when he felt it.
Dougan knew now what he needed to do. Yes, he would simply ask to go on the next mission. And if it was just him and Master Sanzo...Obviously, something would happen then. He smiled and then chuckled as all those little daydreams and visions circled through his head. He would just wait until Master Sanzo was done with the business at hand and then ask him.
The sun setting behind Master Sanzo made it look like he was surrounded in a red-gold halo of light. The image was one that would be burned into Dougan's mind forever, how his hair seemed to catch the golden light and make it shine brighter. The deep crimson staining his pale skin. How the creeping indigo darkness on the horizon was almost as intense as his eyes. He had to swallow a couple times before he found his voice, overwhelmed by the natural beauty of the man before him. "Master Sanzo?" he asked softly, daring to come closer and lay hesitant fingertips to the edge of the desk.
"What?" he asked, sitting back and taking off his reading glasses. He looked so tired. Maybe no wasn't the right time...No, it was the perfect time! He had to ask now.
"Well, I was wondering if I might accompany you on your next assignment," he said softly, glancing up to see if any emotion showed. None, not one sign he felt anything. Nothing passed through that gorgeous mask. His eyes dropped to those narrow lips and he found himself wondering if they were soft or more firm.
"Not a chance." The mouth moved, the words came out in his voice. But...but he wasn't supposed to say that! Those lips weren't supposed to form those words!
Dougan looked him in the eye, too shocked to realize how rude he was being by staring a superior eye-to-eye. "But, you take Son Goku with you!"
"Goku can take care of himself. I don't have to worry about him constantly."
Worry...about him? Did that mean Master Sanzo thought he wasn't capable of taking care of himself? But...all that training...how could he...why would he do that? Why would he SAY that! Dougan licked his lips and tried to keep the angry tears back. "Master Sanzo, I really think I could be of-,"
Master Sanzo stood up. "I gave you my answer. It's a no. There's no way you're going with me. End of discussion. Now, if there isn't anything else, I'm busy."
That was it. It was over. He knew that resolved look very well from watching Master Sanzo deal with Goku. It meant there was no arguing around it. Dougan let his head drop so Master Sanzo wouldn't see the beginning of his tears. "Of course, Master," he whispered, forcing his legs to move and take him from the room.
Once outside the office, Dougan wiped his eyes angrily, pushing his glasses back. Ryokan was right. He HAD been replaced, a long time ago! He just hadn't wanted to see it. How could he have been so blind? How could Master Sanzo be so blind? Didn't he SEE what Dougan could do for him? No, he couldn't. He was too obsessed with Goku! Well, he could change that.
He pushed himself away from the wall and ran out the back kitchen entrance, startling the servants from their tasks. He found the spot that was easy to climb and made it over the wall, dropping on the other side into the forest. If he was lacking in some way, he had to go elsewhere to learn and prove himself worthy. Clearly he had learned all there was from this place! He would go away and become stronger and when he came back, Master Sanzo would be BEGGING him to come along! If it killed him, he would MAKE Master Sanzo see him! They belonged together, for always. And Dougan was determined that Master Sanzo realize this.