Augh… My back is KILLING me…

Anyway, the contest from last time is concluded! TheLegendaryManHimself is the winner! Congrats! Just send your description to my email address, and you'll receive your pixilated self as soon as it's done!

However, just because you won, does not mean that the names will take effect… Immediately.

Mirrors

Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Love Hina. Bummer.

On the rooftop of the Hinata community center, two figures in black stood watching the street below. One was in a neat, Armani-knock-off suit with sinister sunglasses, while the other was in a nice, clingy jumpsuit, which caused the wearer to blush uncontrollably.

"Um… Kei-Keitaro?"

"Mmmmyessssss?" Questioned Evil Keitaro, smirking back at his young partner in crime. Shinobu pulled at her jumpsuit, grimacing.

"Er… This suit you gave me… It's very… Uncomfortable." Evil Keitaro smirked, before handing Shinobu a bottle.

"Here, drink this. It'll make the suit fit better, trust me. Now, just wait here, and I'll call you if I need you," Evil Keitaro ordered, before jumping off the roof and to the ground below. Shinobu blinked after him, before eyeing the strange bottle.

"Hm… Well… Keitaro would never try to hurt me… Right?" Shinobu blinked a few times. Then, with an "oh well," shrug, she grabbed the cork in the bottle.

"… Huh?! It won't come – Guh! – Off!" Shinobu pulled the stopper harder, gritting her teeth. "C'mon… C'mon!"

With a pop! The stopper in the bottle came out, spurting a fizzy, purple liquid all over Shinobu. She coughed, inadvertently swallowing a few drops of the liquid, before groaning at the now-empty bottle.

"Great… Sem-Er… Keitaro won't like this," she mourned, before going to the fire escape of the community building and climbing down to find her Keitaro.

"Isn't it a lovely day?" Asked Kind Keitaro, hand in hand with Naru, as they walked through the local park. Naru nodded, her eyes rather empty. Kind Keitaro blinked at Naru.

"Mmhm," she grunted. Kind Keitaro cleared his throat.

"Not a cloud in the sky…"

"Mmhm."

"I wonder if we'll get rain today?"

"Mmhm."

"… Want to make love under the open sky?"

"Yeah, whatever," Naru muttered, before blinking. She turned to Kind Keitaro, who smiled serenely at her.

"What… Was that last one?"

"Oh, nothing…"

"Keitaro…"

"Nothing you need to hear, Naru-chan," Kind Keitaro soothed, leading her over to a park bench, and sitting them both down. Naru eyed Kind Keitaro suspiciously.

"Right… So… Why'd you take me out here?"

"Because I wanted to spend some time with you, Naru. Is that so much to ask?" Kind Keitaro asked, smiling at her. Naru blushed, and coughed.

"Er… No… I'm just… I was just… Curious," she said in a small voice. Kind Keitaro just squeezed her hand.

"Why do you always fear me, Naru?" Naru started, and gaped at Kind Keitaro.

"Fear you?!"

"Or, at least, fear my reasons behind my actions," Kind Keitaro clarified. "You are often afraid of what my choices will be, or will lead to. Or, what your choices regarding me will lead to."

"… Um… What the hell are we talking about?" Naru asked, narrowing her eyes. Keitaro took a deep breath.

"Well… You fear that I'm going to leave you. Right? For another girl?"

"That… Doesn't seem like a problem, now," pointed out Naru. Kind Keitaro blinked.

"Um… Yes, it seems that way…" Kind Keitaro said carefully. Naru sighed, leaning back and looking up at the sky.

"But… It's like, the Keitaro I knew… Is dead. And you're all… None of you are him. I mean, really him," Naru explained in a monotone. "And… Is it selfish of me? Wrong of me? To want him back?"

"… Selfish, maybe. But, aren't we all selfish, then? To want something out of life at the cost of another's life?" Kind Keitaro asked. "Maybe we don't kill other people by our choice to love someone, but we do end up breaking someone's heart when we do… No matter how hard we try to avoid it." Naru smiled sadly, tilting her head to look at Kind Keitaro.

"Sure you shouldn't be called Wise Keitaro?"

"Odd… That's the second time today I've been called that…" Kind Keitaro gently wrapped an arm around Naru's shoulders, and let her lean her head against his neck. She sighed, looking down at the ground.

"I… I just don't know what to do…"

"If it helps, I don't know what to do about this, either," Kind Keitaro confessed, leaning his head against hers. "I just take things one day at a time…"

"You?" Naru asked, blinking. "You never… Oh."

Kind Keitaro smirked slightly.

"Yes…"

"Hey, Keitaro! Bud! Buddy! How'ya do-!"

"Silence, worm," snarled Keitaro, his harsh glare causing Shirai to back up involuntarily. He shared a glance with Haitani, who shrugged, and they both turned back to the scowling Keitaro Urashima.

"Er… Something wrong, Keitaro?"

"Yes, something's wrong," sneered Keitaro, taking a menacing step forward. The two best friends stepped back, both noting they were in a secluded part of town. And Keitaro had them backed up against the wall. And he looked really scary all of a sudden…

"What's wrong is that you've filled your pockets with my money, by scamming me and taking advantage of me. What's wrong is that you've ogled and leered at the woman under my management, as though I gave you permission. What's wrong, in conclusion, Shitani and Hirai-"

"Haitani and Shirai!" The two young men corrected in a high-pitched tone, to which Keitaro snorted.

"Whatever. In conclusion, what's wrong, is that you're still breathing… And I'd like to correct that." With this said, Keitaro cracked his knuckles, and, grinning unpleasantly, advanced on the two shaking men.

"N-Now now, Keitaro! Old pal! Buddy! Compadre! We can pay you back…"

"Yeah! Here!" Haitani sputtered, pulling out his wallet and tossing it at Keitaro's feet. He simply stepped over it, continuing to close in. The two best friends held eachother, shaking in terror. They could not help but notice the fangs their former friend/sucker had grown, before they closed their eyes in the face of their imminent demise.

"I love you, Haitani! You're the best friend a guy could ask for!"

"Shirai! I'm the one who made the dirty phone call to your mother when I was drunk!"

"What?! You little-AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Agreed Haitani.

"So, will your sister be staying with us?" Confident Keitaro asked, as he and Motoko strolled through the Hinata Springs town area, Keitaro carrying the bags of clothing they had both bought (or, in Motoko's case, that Confident Keitaro had "persuaded" her into buying), Motoko walking with him.

"Yes, I imagine so," Motoko replied, raising an eyebrow at him. "Why do you ask?"

"Well… I'm not sure what her reaction to… All six of us will be," Confident Keitaro stated, looking at her critically. "Do you think she'll flip?"

"Hmph… More than likely, she'll try to make off with one of you," Motoko snorted, looking at the pavement with narrowed eyes. Confident Keitaro smirked.

"Really?"

"Yes… She, was rather taken with you… Er… You know what I mean… When she last visited. Even though I was your 'fiancé'," Motoko huffed, making quotation marks with her fingers. It was a habit she'd picked up from her American English professor at the Toudai prep school. Confident Keitaro's smirk grew.

"Hm… I wonder… Would she care for Timid me, or Brainy Me? Or, she could have fun 'exorcising' Evil me," Confident Keitaro mused, bringing a slight blush to Motoko's cheeks.

"Keitaro!"

"What?"

"… This is another problem I didn't think of," Motoko considered, rubbing her chin. "What are we going to call you all?"

"Hm?" Confident Keitaro asked, titling his head quizzically at her. "What do you mean? We're all Keitaro…"

"And yet, you are not the Keitaro we knew… And yet, you are…" Motoko sighed, rubbing her forehead. "My point is, we're going to have to find a way to tell you all apart without talking to you first."

"All right… Just call me Bond… James Bond," Confident Keitaro grinned. Motoko rolled her eyes.

"… Or not," conceded Confident Keitaro.

"I'd think you'd prefer to keep your original name," Motoko replied. Confident Keitaro shrugged.

"Meh… Just as long as it's not Hamtaro, Kouga, or anything else like that…"

"Why would we name you anything like that?" Motoko inquired, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, Suu might come up with something like that, anime junkie that she is," explained Confident Keitaro, rubbing the back of his head. He then winked at her.

"Of course, anything that's easy for you to scream would be just fine…"

"KEITARO!" Squeaked Motoko, hands shaking in fury.

"Music to my ears," he leered back, to which Motoko blushed harder.

"Do you have to do that?" She hissed.

"Yes," he replied, grinning. "Besides, you're sexy when you're blushing."

"I-I am not!"

"Yes you are," teased Keitaro.

"AUGH! SAVE US! HE'S A MAD MAN!" Both were interrupted by the sounds of two screaming young men, to which they turned and looked up.

Scattering tourists and shoppers as they sprinted, haphazardly, down the sidewalk, Haitani and Shirai screamed as though the Devil himself was after them, with an army of lawyers and airtight contracts. They both were the worse for wear, their clothes ragged and cut up, their bodies covered in bruises, red paint, and what appeared to be tar and feathers.

"AUGH! IT'S HIM!" They shrieked, at the sight of Confident Keitaro and Motoko, and (seemingly feeling that they were trapped), collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk, sobbing in a pathetic heap. Passerbyers stepped by them, trying to ignore the sight of two young men, who looked as though they'd been hazed within an inch of their life, bawling like babies.

Motoko and Confident Keitaro looked at eachother.

"My brother, no doubt…"

"Indeed. Shall we investigate?"

"Let's hit it," Confident Keitaro grinned, walking over to the whimpering Shirai and Haitani, and shoving his and Motoko's bags of clothing. He then got in their faces and glared.

"Now, listen you runts. Get these bags to the Hinata Sou, and pronto, or I'll… I'll…" Keitaro threatened, taking a deep, strangled breath between each 'I'll'. His two "best friends" howled in terror, before running for their lives down the sidewalk, towards the Hinata Sou in the distance. Chuckling slightly to himself (and coughing a bit when Motoko elbowed him for it), he and the samurai girl walked down the path that both Haitani and Shirai had taken.

"WOO HOO! TAKE IT OFF, KEITARO!"

"Only if you do the same, Kitsune!"

"It's a deal!"

"Er, sirs? Ladies? I'm afraid that you all must leave…"

"Sssscrew you, manager! We're having a good time, ssssoo there!" Slurred Kitsune, leaning against the less-woozy Fun Keitaro. Nearby, Timid Keitaro and Mutsumi had been engaged in a little drinking of their own, and now the poor, timid duplicate of Urashima was being groped and pawed under the table by the innocently-smiling Okinawan.

"C'mon Kei-kun, you know you'll like it…"

"N-N-N-NOOOOOOO!!!"

"BANZAI!"

"NO! NOT THE RESERVED TABLE! THAT COSTS A MILLION YEN! STOP!"

Crash!

"… Oops…"

Heh heh heh… I'm SO evil!

Anyway…

NEXT TIME: Kistune, Mutsumi, Timid and Fun Keitaros all end up in jail. Who's going to bail them out? And what's going to happen to Shinobu and Evil Keitaro?

R&R!