DISLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Or Snape. I do own ten lollipops, nine Snickers, eight pencils, seven Dragon Balls, six Horcruxes (don't ask), five golden rings! Four large houses, three pretty flowers, two monkeys, and a Ring of Power… the one ring to rule them ALL!

Harry sat down next to Ron and Hermione. His face was covered in blood, and yet he was grinning like a madman. It really was quite eerie. Hermione looked at him in shock and whispered, "Harry, why are you covered in blood?"

"Blood? Don't matter.", he replied dreamily. He gazed at the head table, looking at the object of his affection. He was looking at the sneering man up at the head table.

"Harry… are you… are you looking at Snape?", asked a shocked Hermione. When Harry nodded she gasped. "Did he…?" Once again Harry nodded. "I don't believe it!" She stood and began to shout at Harry in front of everyone. "I can't believe you're in love with Snape!"

"Professor Snape!", interjected Dumbledore from the head table.

"But-!", started Harry.

Hermione interrupted, "Look at him! He has disgusting hair, a long nose, yellow skin, uneven teeth, he reeks of dragon dung," at that Severus Snape sniffed his robes and grimaced, "he hates your father, he helped kill Sirius, and, he gave you T's!"

By the end of her rant Hermione was breathing heavily. Harry shook his head slowly, smiling. "Hermione… I don't love Snape. He swung at me, so I knocked him upside the head! I thought you were asking whether or not he had punched me!"

"But… but… you were staring at him….", accused Hermione, starting to blush.

"Yeah, 'cuz I was remembering!", replied Harry happily.

And then everyone laughed. Except for Snape, who was glaring at Dumbledore who had already placed the memory of what had happened into a flask. Snape, who was glowing red with embarrassment spluttered angrily, "Well, girl, at least I don't like a certain Weasley- the one with long hair, remember?", and with that Hermione 'Eeeped' and Ron chopped Ginny's hair off and magicked it onto his own head.

"RON!", screamed Ginny, embarrassed from Snape, and now angry with Ron. Dean Thomas, who was sitting next to her got up and strode away. "Dean! I'm not gay! I like boys! I swear! Urgh! I need a cigarette!", she stood up and strode away, glaring at Hermione who looked crushed.

"We're gay!", cried out Crabbe and Goyle at the same time, they then began to kiss.

Draco Malfoy looked around and yelled, "I'm half Veela! I'm the Half-Blood Prince! Mwahahahahaha!", he then disrobed and ran around naked. Everyone threw up.

"I'm insane!", yelled Dumbledore as he figured it was confession time.

"I'm in heat!", mumbled McGonagall. Dumbledore quirked his eyebrow at her.

"Oh…?", he said slowly, an insane glint in his eye.

"I'm dating a student!", cried out Sprout. She jumped over the table and sat on Neville Longbottom's lap.

"Er… I like food?", admitted Ron.

"And I am Lord Voldemort!", screeched Luna Lovegood from her spot at the Ravenclaw table. Everyone looked at her, and saw that she was transforming into the pale creature known as Lord Voldemort.

Ron looked at her thoughtfully. "I knew she was Loony!"

The author looks at this…. Thing and wonders what he was thinking. Ah well, he thinks, it doesn't make sense, but hey, neither does Snape being a hottie in fan fiction. After all… anything is possible!

Ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off… ring goes on… ring goes off…. FIN?