DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, and, due to the small fact of copyright infringement I'm gonna get sued unless I post this silly disclaimer. I mean come on. Do I look like a woman named J.K. Rowling? Nope. So is it really necessary to post disclaimers? No, but I do it anyway. Just in case. Better safe then sorry. Or is it better sorry than safe? Ah well, anyway, on with the short story!

He pulled on his red and gold mask. He put his red cape on and looked outside. He saw the Death Eaters. Using his elemental powers he disappeared in a flash of flames. He appeared behind the Death Eaters. "Halt your criminal activities!", he said in a deep voice.

"Oh no, it's a weird-o in a costume!", replied one of the Death Eaters sarcastically. He drew his wand and aimed the Killing Curse towards him. The man just stood there. The green curse swept over him. Oddly enough, there was no body lying on the ground.

"What the…?", wondered another Death Eater. Suddenly, a red feather floated down from the sky. They looked up, and then- WHAM!

"Phoenix Man, to the rescue!", shouted the masked hero. Suddenly, he heard several loud CRACK's so he quickly vanished in flames.

"Would you look at that?", said Harry Potter. He was looking at the sorry state of the Death Eaters. "Oi! Dumbledore, check this out!", Harry was chuckling now.

"Indeed Harry, Indeed.", muttered Dumbledore. He looked intently at the knocked out Death Eaters. "Look at this… a Phoenix feather… wait a tic, it says Phoenix Man."

"Phoenix Man?", Harry asked curiously.

"Yes. I suppose that with the Order of the Phoenix going public, some people decided to fight evil on their own.", mumbled Dumbledore who was deep in thought.

"Yes, I suppose you're right.", replied Harry thoughtfully.

Over the next few months, Death Eater's were being captured left and right. No one knew who was doing it until one night-

"I am Phoenix Man!", called out Phoenix Man triumphantly.

"I know you are.", replied a sultry voice. It was Ginevra Potter, Harry Potter's wife.

"Wha…? Er, I mean, I gotta go!", replied Phoenix Man. It was too late though. Ginny had grabbed Phoenix Man's face and kissed him. "Oh… Ginny-kins….", moaned Phoenix Man.

"Aha!", cried Ginny, "I knew it was you!". She pulls off Phoenix Man's mask. It was Harry Potter!

"Ginny, please don't tell anyone!", whispered Harry urgently.

"I won't", Ginny began coyly, she rubbed his chest. "But you're gonna have to do something for me.", she whispered something in his ear.

"No problem!", replied Harry happily. He then floo-traveled home with her.

The Next Day-

"I am Phoenix Man!", cried out Harry.

"And I am Phoenix Woman!", cried out Ginny.

Suddenly, the reader looks at the story in surprise. He then turns to the author. "Excuse me, this story is supposed to be funny! Not stupid!"

"Well, what did you expect?", I asked the reader.

"Comedy!", replied the reader, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Silly reader, comedy is tragedy plus time.", I reply.

"Okay, but there is no tragedy.", the reader points out.

"Uh-huh, they are wearing dumb outfits. It's a tragedy.", I reply solemnly.

"Er… you're an idiot. I'm going to read RossWrock, or maybe SilverLocke, at least they can write!", the reader leaves.

"Right… that's a good idea! I'm gonna go read Luna the Moonmonster's stories, or maybe the Red Dragons Order. Heck, I'm gonna go read Thor Nairda!", I reply. I then leave the story.